She’d place a kid-sized plastic cup, also pink, in the microwave with what couldn’t have been more than a half cup of milk. Sixty seconds later, my belly would be full of warm liquid, and my eyelids would get a little heavier.

Then back to my room, under the covers, and mom’s singing would send me off to sleep.

Fast forward to now, and milk is still one of my favorite comfort foods. These days, I take it a little differently.

If I find myself restless before bed, or if my stomach is grumbling as though it didn’t get enough dinner, milk is my go-to choice.

I’ll put a cup or two in a saucepan with a tablespoon of ghee and a dash each of turmeric, cinnamon, coriander, and clove. As I stand there and stir, I watch the spices swirl together while the yellow oil of the ghee blends smoothly into the creamy white.

This is when the ritual begins.

The fragrance and color wake up my senses. The stillness of standing, sometimes patiently, sometimes impatiently, on my kitchen floor grounds me. The more I surrender to the process, the more present I become.

My life is not always slow enough to incorporate, let alone appreciate, little rituals like these. But when it is, life takes on a sweetness all its own.

The emotional power of sweet

There are obvious reasons that we crave the taste of sweet. Conventional wisdom tells us that sugar is highly addictive and in nearly everything we eat. But what is it about sweet that lures us with such a siren’s song?

When we came into this world, our first meal was sweet. When we were held to the breast, our lips tasted the sugary sweetness of the nourishment that came to us from our mother’s body. Even if we were formula fed, that substance mimics the natural sweetness of human breast milk.

I can only speculate about how powerful the subconscious memory of the first latch must be. Separated from the mother’s body and exposed to the cold air, the newborn might be searching for some reassurance that their needs will be met in this strange, new world.

Milk is their first evidence.

Beyond the emotional power that milk must hold over humankind, and even animal kind since before we were primates, there are several other reasons why sweet taste calls to us so strongly.

In Ayurveda, it isn’t just sugar that has a sweet quality. Water is the simplest form of sweet taste.

Imagine that feeling when you finally get a glass of water when you’re parched on a hot day. It’s easy to understand why people in ancient India who didn’t have ready access to ice cream shops and patisseries might have viewed water as sweet.

Very few things are sweeter when you’re looking for relief from the sweltering heat, and very things are more essential to our survival.

Rice is another simple food that is sweet in Ayurvedic cooking. I was surprised when I learned this, but give some plain rice a taste and see if you can sense the subtle sweetness.

Then there are refined carbohydrates, one of the most common cravings. Whether in the form of bread, buns, muffins, or pastry, flour is yet another sweet tasting food.

And there is milk. Milk has a long history in ancient India as a food of the gods. It is the food that is bestowed by sacred cows, who represent the mother of the universe. It is the favored food of impish little Krishna, the blue-faced child god who played in the pastures of Vrindavana.

There are some scientific reasons milk is a good choice for sweet cravings, too. Because milk is high in both fat and protein, it is a great food for the brain and nerves.

Healthy fats build up the protective coating of the nerve cells, known as myelin or majja dhatu in Ayurveda. Consuming fats helps to prevent these protective sheaths from eroding. This means that milk, or other sweet (non-sugary) foods that are high in fat and protein, actually help the body to heal stress and anxiety.

How’s that for sweet taste?

Sweetening life

According to Ayurveda, sweet taste doesn’t only come from food. Our words, thoughts, and experiences can be imbued with sweet quality, too.

When we hold hands with a lover and rest our heads on their shoulder, we are evoking sweet taste in our life. Why else would we honor them with the monikers ‘honey’, ‘sugar’, and ‘sweetheart’?

When we gaze at a sunset glancing off of rippling water, we are invoking sweet. When we lie in a plush bed of down and satin, we are invoking sweet. When we speak to a friend, when we smell a rose, when we sing a song, when we kneel and pray–all of these acts invoke sweet taste in our lives.

As our lives speed up and we focus on getting things done, we are no longer evoking sweet. To get something “done” implies that we are focused on the end goal, not on the experience of getting there. This is the antithesis of sweetness.

Sweet requires stillness and space to savor and enjoy. Sweet taste is sensual.

That’s why sitting and slowly enjoying a piece of cake bite by bite is far more satisfying than swallowing the whole thing in five gulps. If I don’t take my time, the experience passes me by so quickly that I barely experience it at all. If it takes me fifteen minutes to finish one piece of cake, I’m far less likely to feel a craving for another slice.

This is not an admonishment to eat less cake. In a sense, it’s exactly the opposite.

It’s an invitation to create space in your life for sweet to be ever-present. That space can start with just a tiny sliver, and who knows where it can go from there?

Life these days is hectic and constant. Even if slowing down is our ideal, there’s quite an undertow that too often carries us out to sea. When we take even the smallest step toward slowing down and savoring anything, we are taking a step toward welcoming more sweetness into our lives.

For me, that glass of milk before bed contains not only the elements of sweetness but the memory of it.

Whatever it may be for you, I invite you to carve out a little corner of your life for sweetness to take up residence. Its presence gives everything else a richness, a sparkle, and a depth that can’t be found if we don’t look for it.

There have been huge swaths of my life where practice fell to the wayside completely.

Let me just out myself right now; I’m no exemplar of being in the present moment at all times.

I’ve had to set myself back on the path over and over, often after pretty significant deviations. This is true both in life and in practice.

These setbacks have served to show me where I’m really at, what I’m really working with, and what areas still need growth and attention.

I often explain meditation as being like a record player. The awareness is the needle, and the grooves in the record are the thoughts. The practice of meditation is taking the needle and resetting it at the center of the record over and over and over.

Inevitably, as the record spins, the needle makes its way to the edge. The practice is to continually, softly, gently, and with a sense of humor, bring the needle back to center.

That’s about it.

Sounds easy enough, but those thoughts can be really, really distracting.

Practicing Beginner’s Mind

There are a few reasons I’ve never graduated to what I’d call an “advanced” meditator.

Admittedly, one is that I have a pretty hard time sitting for very long. Meditation takes patience, and it must be cultivated over time. Still working on that.

The other, more positive reason is that when we approach meditation from a beginner mindset over and over, we come with a fresh perspective without conceptions. We come without the ego trip that we’re gaining something, getting somewhere, or becoming something that would warrant the label “advanced”.

This helps to infuse the practice with humility and prevent spiritual bypassing, or skipping over the hard stuff.

Every time we practice mindfulness, we are bringing with us a brand new set of circumstances, emotions, and mental states to sit with. Sometimes our meditation feels breezy, calming, and rejuvenating.

Other times, even the idea of sitting is uncomfortable. It’s sitting in the moments of discomfort that helps us learn to be with what is. But being with what is doesn’t always feel good, and that’s okay too.

Sticking With It

We can take comfort in the fact that our mindfulness practice doesn’t have to be “good” every time we sit. In fact, removing these labels entirely is part of letting go of mental conceptions.

What’s really important in practice is consistency. That’s what will train us to be with what is, no matter the outer circumstances. This is what creates resilience and self-possession.

I’ve gone through periods of life when my meditation practice was solid and regular, three times a day. I could see the effect of this in every aspect of my life. I was less reactive, more patient, had a better sense of humor, let things roll off me, was more effective in my work, had more empathy to share with others…you get it.

Then some life change came my way, and I started practicing a little less. Or not at all.

For a while, the effects of mindfulness still linger. But just like our strength wanes when we don’t keep up a fitness routine, our mindfulness muscles start to fade. Then we find ourselves back in our old patterns as if we had never practiced at all.

The good news is that our practice doesn’t disappear entirely. The reality of brain plasticity is that, yes, we can slide back. But when we recommit and get back on the horse, so to speak, those grooves that we dug during the time that we did practice are still there, and we can find them again.

Tips For Staying On Track

1. Be realistic. How often and for how long can you realistically practice so that you can be consistent? Don’t set yourself up to fail by scheduling three practices a day right off the bat. Start with small goals that you know you can reach. Then you’ll be empowered to keep going when you hit them.
2. Be honest. When are you skipping practice because you really have to, and when are you doing it because there is something more interesting to do? There are going to be times when we have to use our willpower to make the choice to stick to our plan, and those are the times that our commitment is really tested. When you choose to practice instead of following distraction, you are strengthening your resolve. The reward is so much greater than what your FOMO is telling you you’re missing.
3. Be regular. My yoga and meditation teachers always say that frequency, intensity, and duration are the factors that determine how deep you go in anything, whether it’s meditation, learning a new sport, or honing a skill.
4. Keep a sense of humor. Don’t give yourself a grade for your practice. Keep it focused but light. I like to imagine my awareness as a mother cat gently bringing her escaping kittens back to their basket. It’s pretty hard to be mad at a rogue kitten. Just like kittens, the nature of the mind is to be wayward. Just keep gently bringing yourself back, and don’t take it too seriously.

Mindfulness Is Kindness

The most important thing that mindfulness teaches us is to have compassion for ourselves and others. If you are harsh and critical toward yourself, it’s inevitable that you will be harsh and critical toward others – even if it’s only subconscious.

Mindfulness helps us polish the lens through which we see the world. If that lens is one of judgment, mindfulness helps us become more accepting. If that lens is one of victimization, mindfulness helps us see the kindness and generosity in others. If that lens is one of not-belonging, mindfulness helps us see that we are part of the human family.

When we let go of these conceptions, we behave in ways that embody acceptance, kindness, and belonging rather than their contracted opposites.

When we extend the same compassion toward ourselves that we would toward a friend, a pet, or a child, we are embodying the true attitude of mindfulness. Not only that, but we’re acknowledging our interconnectedness with the rest of the world.

Mindfulness, ultimately, is a tool to help us become more human. That starts with how we treat ourselves.

No matter what is happening in the environment, your body can always be an anchor to keep your mind in the present and your feet on the ground. Your body moves you, nourishes you, and gives you a home. It can also be a safe haven when things are just too much.

An Ancient Technique For The Modern World

By practicing this simple relaxation technique, you can gently remind your body to let go of tension and just be here, in the present moment.

This technique is known as Yoga Nidra. It’s often described as “sleeping while awake”, or putting the body into a sleep-like state while the mind is still alert. According to yoga philosophy, with repeated practice you can train the body to “surf” between the states of wakefulness and sleep, inducing a deep state of relaxation and calm.

While Yoga Nidra is purportedly an ancient technique, it is highly relevant today. Because the world outside is highly changeable and unpredictable, it’s a beautiful gift to yourself to create a place within that you can always come home to.

Learning To Let Go

While meditation can often be challenging because the mind has nothing to do, Yoga Nidra is different because it gives the mind a “job”. By focusing first on the body, the mind can settle and go into a deeper state of relaxation.

Many of us feel challenged to fully let go, even during a massage, yoga class, or as you drift off to sleep at night. Our thoughts can keep us focused on the future or the past, causing our nervous system to remain alert.

When you practice Yoga Nidra, the physical relaxation of the body is the first step in truly letting go of our need to focus on anything other than the present moment.

Through Yoga Nidra, we can give ourselves permission to just be. This means you don’t have to control, you don’t have to strive, you don’t have to fix or accomplish, you can simply exist. Even if it’s only for a little while.

How To Practice Yoga Nidra

The best way to introduce yourself to Yoga Nidra is to follow along with an audio or YouTube recording. There are a lot of online options that are free, and you can search around to find one that suits you best. There are also several options in other languages.

Once you’ve practiced a few times and can remember the sequence, you can guide yourself through from start to finish.

Another option is to purchase a Yoga Nidra book, which often have several versions of Yoga Nidra scripts that you can record yourself reading. It can be especially helpful to listen to your own voice, as eventually this will train you to lead yourself through the exercise without any recording at all.

If you want to get started right away, I’ve included simplified instructions below. You can use these instructions to record yourself or ask a friend to read them to you. This is a great way to share your relaxation practice with your community.

1. Get comfortable – Start by lying on the floor with a blanket or thin cushion behind the head. Open the feet slightly wider than hips distance apart. Bring the palms of the hands six inches from the side of the body, facing up. Allow yourself to completely relax, sinking deeply into the floor.
2. Soften the mind – Allow yourself to press pause on your mental stream. As thoughts arise, as they always do, imagine them floating away in a bubble. No need to linger with them. There is nothing to do now, there is nothing to remember, just this time to let go.
3. Set an intention – Decide what you want to get out of your Yoga Nidra. This can be something like, “I am calm, peaceful, and steady.” Repeat this intention to yourself three times.
4. Watch the breath – Begin shifting the attention to the breath, simply watching the breath rise and fall in the belly. Let it be natural. No need to control it. Feel the body relax more deeply with every exhale. Do this for a few rounds.
5. Focus on the body – Now you can begin to focus the attention on the right side of the body. Bring the attention from body part to body part, allowing the mind to jump from one body part to the next without lingering. Let each body part relax as you focus on it.
   Start with the right thumb, second finger, third finger, fourth finger, fifth finger. Palm of the hand, back of the hand, wrist, forearm, elbow, upper arm, shoulder, chest, side waist, hip, buttock, top of thigh, back of thigh, knee cap, back of knee, shin, calf, ankle, heel, ball of foot, top of foot, big toe, second toe, third toe, fourth toe, fifth toe.
6. Repeat on the left side – You can do steps 4 and 5 as many times as you’d like to until you feel relaxed. When you’re ready, reverse the muscle relaxation from the right toes to the right fingers, then the left toes to the left fingers, moving up the body this time.
7. Bring in visuals – As you inhale, begin to imagine a stream of gold light entering the body from the top of the head, streaming through the body all the way down and out the feet. As you exhale, imagine a stream of gold light entering the body from the feet all the way up the body and out of the head.
8. Return to the senses – Begin to bring the attention back to your body. Allow the mind to focus on the sounds in the room around you, and then bring your attention to sounds beyond the room. Maybe you hear birds chirping or cars passing.

Taking your time, begin to wiggle the fingers and toes. Once you feel ready, roll over to your right side. Press the hands into the floor, and bring yourself to sitting.

Your Yoga Nidra is now complete!

Pro Tips

It can sometimes be difficult to settle into practicing Yoga Nidra, so it can be helpful to do physical exercise before you start to help wind down the nervous system.

As you prepare, make sure you give yourself permission to experience the sweetness and juiciness that a practice like this has to offer. Turn off your alerts, your phone, and limit any input from external sources. Treat yourself as if you were a mother putting a baby to sleep.

And if you fall asleep, don’t sweat it! It’s common to fall asleep when you first begin practicing Yoga Nidra. If you do, it most likely means that you need some extra rest. The whole point is to give your body and your mind what it needs to be more resilient, calm, and ready to face the world.

If sleep is what does it, by all means go for it! If you notice you do fall asleep often during Yoga Nidra, it might be useful to practice before bed or to set a timer so you don’t sleep through anything important.

By practicing Yoga Nidra regularly, you are training your mind and your body to relax more or less on cue. This is a valuable resource in a time when stressful events are commonplace.

No matter what is happening around us, the body is always here to keep us grounded. It helps keep us connected to ourselves and to the simple but extraordinary gift of being alive.