Throughout my career as a Wellness professional, I’ve seen the need for improved self esteem, confidence, and self-love in many of my clients. So why aren’t we talking about it?

I believe that it’s the one thing many of us are here to learn. To truly love ourselves. This is the common thread for so many people whom I have worked with over the past 30 years. And it’s one of the biggest factors that prevents them from healing their own lives.

So why do we cling so tightly to our choice to not love ourselves? Why does the declaration of love for one’s self seem taboo? For each person, there are different reasons. Family environment, social surroundings, economic status, gender, race, religion can all play a role.

Still, I feel there is a greater problem at play here beyond our personal environment. It’s the problem is that not loving ourselves has actually served us in some way. At some point in our lives, it became easier to go with the flow of lowering our self esteem. It feels safer to comply than to rebuke what the world around has implied is our reality. Even when that’s not true. In an attempt to protect us from the outside world’s opinions, we became part of the problem. And so, many go on feeling unworthy because, in some way, that has been what they were told they were. And then those messages became our beliefs about ourselves.

Here is some of the misconstrued thinking I have heard over the years;

“I don’t deserve to love myself.”

“A good person loves others first.”

“We should put others before ourselves.”

“We must please those around us, or risk ridicule and judgement.”

“I’d rather not rock the boat.”

“It’s easier to continue to hurt myself than to allow the world to hurt me anymore.”

These words are heartbreaking, yet I can relate because I used to believe some of these things too! But beliefs can be changed. I have since turned those false beliefs around and I am no longer afraid to love myself. It might be a long, slow road to accept and eventually learn to love one’s self. But iif I can do this then you can too.

It’s time to stop beating yourself up. Time to learn ways to accept and honor yourself. Learning to love ourselves is not an overnight job. A few years worth of effort may have to go in to reverse the damages done. And even then, some of the emotional baggage may still be carried with you. Yet, there is hope. You can learn to change how you feel about yourself. To see yourself as worthy, and loveable, and as enough just as you are.

We have been fed a lie by the world around us that we are less than whole. The first step is to acknowledge this. Then we can start to look for small ways to start bringing in practices to improve the way we feel about ourselves.Learning to care for your body, mind and spirit with nurturing movement, a healthy diet, self compassion and self forgiveness, are the best places to start. Keep things simple and choose gentle changes at first. Start with the suggestions below, and work with them for a while. Notice how they begin to shift the way you feel towards yourself over time.

Take a moment.  Take sacred time for yourself every day. Numerous times.  Each morning, pause in the shower or bath, close your eyes and take a few slow breaths. Tell yourself that these few moments are for you only. There is no rush, you are worth this 30 seconds to pause and breath some kindness into your body. Assure yourself that even if you don’t know how yet, you are willing to feel loving thoughts toward yourself. – This is a very slow starting place, but it can be effective over time. Keep gifting yourself these few moments each day for as long as it takes until you begin to notice that you start to look forward to this sacred time of yours. Increase these moments over time and begin to bring them in more places throughout your day. At bedtime, during a lunch break, mid-afternoon. This practice can be very subtle yet powerful.

Massage your skin with oil. The art of touch is a very powerful tool for shifting how we feel towards our bodies. We can learn to forgive the body for its perceived faults and imperfections. For seemingly letting us down and not being the perfect image of what we thought it should be. And we can connect to the body to bring in healing and improve self confidence.

Choose an organic oil like sunflower seed oil, olive oil, or coconut oil. After you bathe or shower is an opportune time to massage your body. If you feel awkward about giving your whole body a rub down, then simply start with the hands and the feet. Lay out an old towel that you don’t mind getting a little oil stained. Don’t use your good towels. Sit somewhere comfortably – perhaps on a folded towel. Pour a small amount of the oil into your palms and rub the oil between the palms to warm it. You can add a little more oil later as you need it. Begin to gently rub the oil onto the feet or the hands. Use a soft touch to begin, and massage all the fingers and toes. Move on to gently wring the hands (or feet) with a firm squeezing action. Work to your comfort level with this. You may wish to close your eyes and soften your breath. With the eyes closed simply notice how this feels. If you are comfortable with your massage you may choose to move up to the wrist or the ankles, then even further up the limbs. Work up the body as far as you feel comfortable. Make sure not to rush your massage.

Devote time for this at least a few times per week. You can eventually increase to a daily morning and evening massage. This will also help you connect more deeply with your body. As your massage evolves, you can begin to tell your body kind things and thank it for all your body does for you each day. Breathing, pumping blood to your heart and so on. Forgive your body – or better yet, you can ask your body to forgive you for any harm you may have caused it in the past.Send some loving kindness into the cells and tissues of your body. And watch how this changes your feelings toward yourself over time. Self massage can be a deeply self loving method for healing emotion and pain.

Say, “Hello” to your mirror. How often have you looked in the mirror and cringed or criticized the face looking back at you? Probably many, if not hundreds of times.  Looking at our own face in the mirror is sometimes tough. Certainly most of us are not taught to look with love into the image staring back at us. This may be a difficult practice to begin, and yet this is a powerful way to open a more loving dialogue with ourselves.

You can use your bathroom mirror or a compact handheld one if you like. Begin by looking at your own eyes. Try to hold your own gaze for a count of 10. While you do this, offer a soft smile to yourself. Breathe. For some people this can be incredibly tough, so hang in there. This is big work.  Next, while still looking into your eyes, say these words to yourself, “Hello, (your name). I am willing to love you.” You may need many attempts over a few days or even weeks before you feel comfortable enough to move deeper into conversation with your mirror self.

When you feel ready, offer these words to yourself, “ I love you, I really, really love you.” Again, this may be very difficult, yet the effort over time is worth the payoff. As you become more comfortable with this exercise you may notice how it positively affects your self esteem and confidence.

Healthy Eating. This one may seem obvious, yet time and time again, I have come across people who haven’t realized the connection between how they feel mentally, emotionally and physically to what they are eating. Cleaning up our diet by removing excess sugar, fats and processed foods can have a rewarding effect on our overall health and mental well being. This plays out in how we feel in so many ways. From the common feelings of guilt for overeating, eating junk food and beverages, to the mood swings related to a sugar crash, or the anxiety connected with too much caffeine use. When we begin to cut back or eliminate unhealthy substances, we actually improve our mood. And our emotional state will shift as a result of stepping out of the self guilt cycle that many feel after choosing to eat junk that we know is not good for us.

Beyond consciously choosing to eat unhealthy foods and then feel bad about it, there are also chemical effects on our physiology occurring that you might not be conscious of. These side-effects can be detrimental. They stand in the way of our capacity to feel love towards ourselves by making us feel more lethargic, cranky and less patient. Combat these food-related cycles by adding in more healthy foods. Eat your veggies! Shift to bigger portions of vegetables and fruits, leaving less room on your plate for the other stuff. An increase of real fruit and vegetables into your diet, not canned, processed, or packaged ones, will boost your vitamin, mineral and fibre intake. Which improves your body’s ability to manage the hormones that affect your moods. This is a win, win situation. Not only can your body, then function better physically, your mood also improves too. It’s easier to feel good about ourselves when we are in a more positive mood.

Hold these practices close and keep them to yourself in the beginning. Think of your process as fragile and delicate. Be kind and gentle. Practice them consistently. And, over time, you can begin to move toward accepting yourself more and eventually liking parts of yourself, and then loving yourself again.

The other day I had a rare moment of feeling ill, a cold virus was sneaking in heavily. I caught myself wanting to push through, but I knew that it would be better to cancel my yoga classes for the day. I needed rest. Yet, to be honest, I am not normally one to cancel any of my obligations. As an entrepreneur and self-employed business person, I often felt that burning the candle at both ends was the only way to etch out a living in this wellness industry.

So when faced with the threatening onslaught of the cold bug, I paused to feel into what would be right for myself, and heard loud and clear, “cancel work today”.

I struggled with that all too familiar inner battle between meeting outward obligations and honouring my body’s true need for rest and healing. Realistically I knew that it was just silly to continue to push through. How many times have I told my own clients and students to take proper care of themselves — to rest when they need it, and to stay home to nurture more? It was time to practice what I preach!

So I ask you this, as a Wellness Professional, are you walking your talk? Or pushing through?

Are you resting and recouping when you are tired? Are you keeping your own life/work/play in balance, or simply telling others to do so? Are you living an easeful lifestyle? Or are you making yourself feel ill in the process of serving others? Are you one of the many “broken-down healers” in our world? Why?

The problem is, that most of us are taught to push past our limits in the name of service. We were praised for overextending ourselves – for showing up and giving more. Perhaps you too, have a background thought that you are never doing enough. And so, you add in more.

Maybe you take on more in the hopes that it will bring you success – pushing through the inner alarm bells that warn against overscheduling. So you add another class, take on another client, or work through the lunch hour. On the road to “build our careers”, we end up exhausted, resentful and just plain tired of the cycle that seems to be getting us nowhere.

Worse, in all this doing we can’t possibly be making wise choices from a clear place of perspective. Our intuition, inner wisdom and guidance are usually way off when we are not properly rested. We make mistakes in judgement, unable to truly discern what our next best move might be.  And it doesn’t matter how much yoga you practice, if you aren’t caring for ALL the parts of yourself, body, mind and spirit, you will not be at your best.

I see this all too often in my peers, and I have lived it many times myself. But there is a way in which you can take back your power and work from a centred, grounded place, make clear decisions and thrive well in all the aspects of your life. This is where we must take our yoga practice off the mat and into other areas of our life.

And we embrace the wisdom of yoga’s wise sister, Ayurveda – borrowing from an ancient science that understands what it is to live as a whole being. Our body, mind & spirit all require our attention in order to achieve not just balance but greatness. When we operate from a whole and complete centre, we can make wiser decisions for our businesses. Our clients begin to notice that we are teaching from a place of having done our own growth work, and they will feel our authenticity.

So what does it take to get there?

Patience, self-study, care, diligence, yes, but also the wisdom and tools to support such growth. There is a path toward this that can make figuring all this out much simpler — one that is in sync with your body’s rhythms, with nature, and the circadian cycles – which we experience each day, whether we are aware of them or not.

If you own a body, then this path shows you the way to support, nurture and care for it in a way that is loving and gentle and totally in sync with those natural rhythms – It’s like a blueprint or template for total wellness. And along the way, as we learn to care for our body, we also learn to care for our thoughts and build the skills to support a clearer thinking mind. We learn to experience higher levels of intelligence, intuition and awareness. Imagine what kind of Wellness Professional you can be from a place like this! Creating daily schedules that honestly work to fill you up so beautifully, that you have the energy to support and work with others from a grounded Wholeness of Being.

Body Thrive is that path. And Cate Stillman has distilled the complexities and top attributes of Ayurveda & Yoga to create a program based on 10 valuable Habits for owning and operating your body. I have experienced such a wonderful shift into a wiser, healthier version of myself as a result of this program. And I am so grateful! Over the past two years, I have loved the level of vitality and clarity that I am experiencing. So much so, that I have trained and certified as a Yoga Health Coach myself, in order to share this wisdom with others.

So, let’s take a peek at one of the Body Thrive habits that may inspire you to nurture yourself deeply so that you can really show up for your own students and clients. The habit is about starting your day right – setting yourself up with the best practices first thing each day in order to positively affect the outcome of the rest of your day. This is a lot like putting your own oxygen mask first.. Take a few minutes in the morning to do the things that would really support you before the demands of life start chipping away at your reserves. When we take this time each morning to fit in this kind of self-care, we ensure that it actually gets done. Rather than planning it for sometime later in the day, when we actually risk skipping it altogether because life got too busy and we ran out of time for our own self-care.

Here is an example of what it might look like to start your day off on the right foot. You awaken to your alarm on time, arising feeling content and well-rested. You move through the bathroom routine and move to the kitchen to make hot water and lemon — setting up your body’s digestion and elimination in process. While the kettle is on you sit for a few minutes in silence, taking in the stars in the sky or maybe the sunrise and enjoy the quiet serenity of the morning. There is no rush to begin the day. Perhaps you can fit in a light meditation, then you move through a few sun salutations and postures to awaken and stretch the physical body, awaken your breath body and steer your thoughts towards gratitude. Next, you move back to the kitchen to pour your hot water into your favourite mug while you sit for a few more minutes sipping on your water and maybe journalling out your thoughts or reading something inspirational…taking your time to savour this magical time before the world awakens and the rest of your day begins. Imagine how you would be able to respond in the world, how you could show up for your family, your clients, or students if each of your days began this way?

You would feel more grounded and in-tune. You would have a sense of ease, rather than the need to rush. You would likely make fewer mistakes and your capacity to hold space for others would be greater. You would likely feel more patient and kind. What a lucky world it would be if you gifted yourself this kind of care each morning so that you could show up serving the world at your best.

Sound like something you want? Go grab a copy of the book, Body Thrive. Check out Cate’s online videos, her podcasts and her programs, then sign up  –  There is a wealth of knowledge which Cate shares generously, genuinely and with detailed clarity. This stuff is a game changer. It’s time to take your wellness career to the next level. And maybe, you too might like to learn more about taking your career in the direction of supporting others to learn how to fully show up for themselves with this kind of deep and effective care in the world. Go to yogahealer.com to begin your journey!

And how often have you actually followed through on making that change? Did that effort last?

Or did you fall short of your goal and feel like giving up?

If you are anything like me you might be able to relate. I have had all kinds of moments when I decided that it was time for a shift….Times where I passionately embarked on a new routine or habit (usually on my own). And set out on my new adventure like it was the next big thing in my life only to find the momentum waning after a few short weeks.  Eventually, I slid back into my old routines. A few months later, I would be in the same boat — wanting to change a habit but lacking the of motivation or follow-through. How frustrating.

Stick-to-it-ness is a tough skill. Especially if we work on things on our own.

Enter the Power of the Group! Your Tribe. A supportive group of peers. Those who are working toward the same or similar goals as you are.  

Have you ever heard the cheesy saying, “Team work makes the Dream work”? Well turns out it’s true! When we work on the same or similar goals with others we are more likely to achieve that goal AND we achieve what we want faster than if we had plugged away at the goal on our own.

Let’s face it reaching goals and changing new habits can be hard work. It takes effort and intention to get there. However, we increase our odds of achieving those goals when we feel accountable to others. When we make a commitment and state our goals and desires out loud to a friend or group of like-minded individuals we feel more accountable to those goals.

I experienced this first hand working with my Yoga Health Coaching program members.

I noticed that over the summer months my group members were not as consistent with keeping up with their goals. Or during times when they did not feel accountable to the group – holidays, over the summer months, Christmas or Spring breaks. There was a direct relationship between their group attendance and participation and their results.

Thank goodness for our Peeps

Now I’m not saying that it’s a totally bad thing. In fact, sometimes noticing how indulgent we can behave when left to our own devices is actually a good reminder that we need support. It shows us how easily we can fall off the wagon when we aren’t feeling accountable. When we come back to those support systems – our Tribe – we are more likely to appreciate them. Thank goodness for our Peeps! They can remind us of our deeper desire for positive change. They can help keep us remain accountable and focused on our goals. They remind us of who we are becoming.

Some of you may want to be part of a group, but can’t seem to find one. Perhaps you live in a small town (as I do) with a tiny population. Or the opposite – you could feel overwhelmed by too many people in a large city. Or maybe you are not a social person at all and prefer the comfort of your own space. Whatever your reasons for feeling as though you can’t connect with a group, you can find ways around this.

If you want to meet in-person, look for groups around your neighborhood. Check your local library, municipal office, or bulletin board for postings. There may be local programs in your area. Reach out to them. Plan to meet up and ask some questions to see if they have a group that is a good fit for you. Or write up an ad and create your own support group.

If in-person is not your thang, look for an online group that fits your desires. There are numerous platforms available. You can search social media forums (like Facebook). With some careful weeding out you can find the right group for you.

Finding an accountability partner or a support team is one of those steps that takes working toward and achieving your goals to a whole new level. It’s an up-level in your strategies that can help make all the difference. Take your plan a step further and find a Yoga Health Coach who is trained to guide and educate you in the Daily Habits of Ayurveda & Yoga. A Health Coach helps you, and the group, make shifts in your daily health and wellness habits by offering tips and strategies that will accelerate your progress. They are there to support and guide you toward your goals. Being able to lean in for guidance, encouragement and support takes a lot of the pressure off.  It helps you to recognize that you are not alone. And brings in a fresh perspective.

Many reputable Yoga Health Coaches are now running online programs which offer safe and supportive group environments to help you meet your wellness goals. You can go here for a list of current certified Yoga Health Coaches who are available.

When it comes to reaching your goals why not follow proven strategies? Align yourself with a group for accountability and watch how you reach your targets more quickly.

Feel free to reach out and connect with me for a free wellness strategy. I would love to hear from you. You can place your comments below or connect with me through my website. I’d love to chat!

As we honor our senses and nurture our connection to nature by practicing yoga outside, we can delve deeply into the practice of ‘sense organ care.’ Allowing our eyes to process the natural light, the green hues and variety of colors present in nature, we nourish our visual palates. We can use our sense of smell and taste to breathe in the fresh air and subtleties on the wind as the fragrances and ions in the air become palpable. The skin, our largest organ can absorb prana through our pores, as well as vitamin D from sunlight. Our sense of touch can be stimulated by the connection to the earth, the grasses, the very air we breathe in.

My Outdoor Classrooms Teach Connection to Nature’s Cycles

In the past several years I have taken the experience of yoga and wellness sessions out into nature! I am teaching connection to nature’s rhythms and cycles. My yoga classes and workshops have found their way into parks, next to the water’s edge, out onto the deck, the dock and the patio, into the night, under the stars, and alongside beautiful walking and hiking trails. I have even had students who were doing yoga in snowshoes & snowsuits.

Hit Reset by Going Outdoors

You can feel the beauty of the outdoors through your senses. By quieting the mind and observing the breath you can become more aware of the sensations in your body. This subtle awareness can help you tap into the environment surrounding you. Listen to the sounds and feel the sensations to become aware of the life all around you. Through your senses, you can connect with the plants and trees. Nature is never in a hurry, everything has its time and place to unfold. Nature is in the present moment and you can be too. You can deeply improve your state of mental and physical health by spending time in nature. It’s is like a “reset button” for the soul.

Breathe In ‘Fresh Air’ And Detach From Your Day

Leave stresses and worries behind even if it’s only for thirty minutes each day. Going outside can have an empowering effect on your immune system, boosting wellness and longevity. Breathing in fresh outdoor air and taking in the natural light, sights and sounds of nature has been a form of cleansing and healing for many millennia!

There is a ‘letting go of stress’ and a deep sense of wellbeing that unfolds when you connect to the vast amount of nature ‘out there.’ I feel so fortunate to live amongst the beautiful rock of the Canadian Shield and the Boreal Forest. In my area, there are varied species of Evergreens, Maples, Ash, Birch, and Oak trees, Cedar and so much more. The rivers, and freshwater lakes of the Mid Northern Ontario region have a power all of their own.

Look for an area near your own home in which you can explore and tap into that magical natural vibration. Even if you live in an urban setting there are places to connect to nature, perhaps a park, a tree in the back yard, the front lawn, some potted plants on your balcony, even a daisy popping up through the crack in the sidewalk is nature reaching out to you bursting with life!

Nourish Your Soul

Whether biking, hiking, doing outdoor yoga, or paddling a canoe, being outdoors is nourishing to the soul, nothing can replace it! Nature wants to flourish. And so can we as people, if we pause for a while to take it all in.

Eat Outdoors

Most regions have many edible plant species that thrive naturally in the fields, marshes, trails and sometimes our even in our own backyards. Dandelion, Plantain, and Clover are among some of the species that can thrive in abundance in my region. When eaten in season, these plants provide dense nutrients to our bodies. (Please be sure to harvest only plants that you know to be safe and edible. Avoid eating plants that may have been sprayed with chemicals and road salt. Don’t forage along dog walking trails for obvious reasons. Choose instead to go a little further off the beaten path to ensure your edibles come from a clean source.)

As part of my Yoga Health Coaching programs, we take our yoga off the mat and into the wild. Leading wild foraging hikes with program members, I offer direction on some of the plant species that can be added to salads, smoothies and other food dishes. Nature provides so many ways to nourish the soul, to relieve the stresses of busy living and to find a wholesome connection both within and out.

Find Nature in the Sunrise

Other ways to bring yoga outdoors could be, simply sitting in silence and listening to the sounds of nature all around you. One lovely daily practice that you can try would be sitting in silence while taking in the energy of the sunrise each morning. Imagine beginning the morning with the sunrise across the lake or the horizon, sitting quietly before the world begins to bustle all around you. Take a few slow and gentle breaths. Picture the peaceful, gentle light rising from below the horizon and wrapping a soft glow upon the meadows and forests, slipping down into the valleys and lighting the tops of the trees on the distant low mountain ranges. The master yogis and monks called this time in the early morning, “ Brahma Muhurta,” the sacred time before the dawn. There is an energy of peacefulness that happens during this time of day, that does not happen at any other time of day. Even on those days when the sky is overcast and the sunrise hidden by clouds, we can still observe this gentle quiet before the dawn in powerful ways.

Here are three easy ways to connect with Nature and hit the Reset Button

1. Sit in silence, observing the morning light and quiet energy for a few minutes each day. Embrace the early dawn and see what subtle, special moments are awaiting you.

2.  Learn about the local edible plants and weeds in your region. Find out from an expert which plants you can add into your diet. Connecting with you local edible plants can be very nourishing and another way to connect to the energy of nature in your area.
3. Bring your yoga mat outside and try a few stretches and poses outdoors. Laying down in Savasana outdoors can be heavenly! Here’s a tip. Put a towel under your mat if you are laying the mat down on grasses or anywhere that may be a bit dirty, this will help keep your mat clean and you can toss the towel in the laundry after your practice.

Hope you enjoy connecting with Nature, reach out and let me know how your experience goes! I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below.

I affectionately began to call it my “Five Friday Ritual.” Here were the instructions she gave me:

1. Go to a nearby river and sit on the river bank, offering various fruits, flowers, coins and honey to the Deva or Goddess of the river in exchange for guidance, wisdom and prosperity.
2. Wear something nice, something more elegant than my everyday attire. I was told to imagine that I was truly meeting with a Goddess and to wear something appropriate for such a sacred encounter.
3. She instructed me to be very present and to honor my highest vision of myself. I was to pray and give thanks for each item before offering it to the River. And then to pause between offerings, allowing for space.
4. Once the ritual was complete I was to sit and pay close attention watching for signs from nature that might show up as a message, a symbol, or “good omen” along the river bank.

Thank God It’s Friday!

I followed all of her instructions very carefully and carried out the steps each Friday for five consecutive weeks. I began to deeply look forward to Friday evenings when I would finish work, rush home to gather the supplies that I had lovingly chosen earlier in the week from the grocery store, and head to the river. The first week I wore some pretty earrings, a silk scarf and some lipstick with a flowing skirt. For the offerings, I had chosen a small bunch of grapes of which I offered five grapes one at a time to the river, along with 5 shiny bright coins, a small jar of honey and 5 daisy flowers that I had picked. I then lit an incense to let burn by the side of the river, watching the tendrils of incense smoke flowing with the air currents along the river’s edge. The second week I stepped it up a bit and wore some gold bangles, one of my favorite necklaces and bought a bag of apples and some more daisies. By week three I couldn’t wait to get to the river bank after work, and had been daydreaming all day about what I was going to wear, and how lovely it was going to feel to sit by the river.

TGIF For My River Dates

Each week I felt more excited about my ritual and brought higher quality offerings. By the end of the five weeks, I was wearing a beautiful kimono woven with golden threads and tossing gold pears, shiny dollar coins, organic honey, and store bought gerbera daisies to the river. I was sparing no expense! I had begun to love my weekly ritual so much that I was sad my five weeks had come to an end. I noticed that the experience of it all left me feeling empowered and beautiful. I felt as though I was a sacred Deva or Goddess myself. And the prayer and meditation had their effects on me too. I was more grounded and peaceful. I felt more creative and happy. And although I did actually get some powerful messages at that river’s edge, I realized that those messages weren’t even the best part of it all. What really became sacred for me was the ritual itself. It was the extra care I took to groom and prepare my appearance, and the thoughtful manner in which I selected the special items each week for my offerings, the time I gifted myself each week to go and do something special just for me! These were the gifts, this was the magical experience that I took away from it all…that I was worthy of such care, that I deserved the best, and that my time was sacred.

Through Ritual the Mundane Becomes Sacred

What if we began to see our daily Habits more like a sacred ritual? How would making habits sacred change the way we began, moved through and ended each day? That experience of following the “Five Friday Ritual” created in me a deep connection, and I often find myself craving to repeat it, and perhaps one day I will. What I have come to realize lately is that the Daily Habits we keep can also become like sacred rituals. As I shift deeper into the Body Thrive Habits, repeating them over and over in the past year, I really allowed them to sink in. I realized that I can bring that same level of magic and sacred nurturing into each day. Now as I drink my warm water in the morning I can view it as offering honey to my inner goddess. My daily oil massage becomes a way to honor the divine through my own hands. My meditation can be an offering prayer and gratitude to the river. My breath body practices can be like a dance to connect inward, and each choice to nurture becomes a sacred ritual in honor of my purpose, my Dharma, each step a moment to pause and choose my own divinity.

Self Massage For Your Inner Goddess

Here’s my tip on how to bring the sacred into your own daily habits, through the practice of Self Massage. Before beginning your daily self massage routine, pause, taking a few conscious breaths and set intentions for your Abhyanga practice. Close your eyes and allow your imagination to play with what you want. Ask yourself how would your skin and body be treated if you were a goddess? And follow your thoughts into how that might look or feel. Perhaps your skin would be lovingly massaged with warm deliciously scented oils, maybe you would be in a luxurious room with decadent lush towels and beautiful flowers. Perhaps there would be soft angelic music drifting through the room and a feeling of deep belonging and worthiness. A sense of sweetness surrounding you. Allow the images and feelings that come to you to vibrate deeply within you and then loving begin to touch and rub and massage your own being as though you are also that incredible Goddess too.

Use These Tips for All of the Daily Habits

Take my approach into all of the Daily Habits and make them sacred. Use your imagination and have fun with it. Connecting to something bigger can truly enhance your experience of the habits and strongly bring in the deep care and nurturing that you as a human Deva or Goddess deserve naturally.

I Could Not Say No

I found myself working longer hours than everyone else. I rarely said no to many work or volunteer requests that came my way. I would teach late night yoga classes, and I developed workshops while I tried to expand business at my yoga studio. I even lead community projects like organizing a donation box for our local women’s shelter through my yoga studio, running a mitten drive for our local food bank, and offering free karma yoga in the park! I was overworked, under-rested, hungry and tired. I would skid through the busyness of my days and when I would finally get home at the end of each day, I began to reach for a glass of wine (or two) to numb out. Too tired to cook a proper meal, I would make those quick fix meals from the freezer, or order takeout from restaurants. And weekends were not much different as they became an excuse to let my hair down and party, after all, I had worked hard long hours throughout the week. I was trying to justify it with the excuse that this is the norm, this was okay, this is just what we do.

The Price I Paid

Inevitably, every habit choice has its price. Eventually, my body began acting out with many different symptoms. First, there was swelling and pain in the joints for which the doctor wanted to send me for testing to the arthritis clinic, yet instinctively I knew it wasn’t arthritis. Next came the scare of swollen lymphs in my right underarm, and the development of a small lump in the breast tissue. This lead to a mammogram and a number of ultrasound check-ups over a period of several months. All bringing me to an overall feeling that I was headed down a terribly scary road…

A Little Voice Became a Scream

I began to hear a little voice inside telling me that I had to change things, that I couldn’t keep going this way, and that I deeply needed a rest. But how? I had so many commitments, maybe if just pushed through, maybe if I worked a little harder! I continued to ignore my real need for deeper nourishment. And soon that little voice started to become more like a scream.  I was certain that I was on the edge of a complete and total break-down. Mentally I was in overload, I was cranky at the end of each day and I begrudged having to get up each morning, let alone go off to work at my day job at a local financial institution, where part of my duties each day were to be kind, supportive and understanding, while using my skills to diffuse people’s frustrations, agitations and fears around their money issues. And I was held to a high standard. I couldn’t make any errors to the many varied transactions required of me each day, challenging to say the least. To top it all off, my workplace had been robbed several months earlier, my co-workers were traumatized, leaving us short-staffed. So those of us who stayed on didn’t even have the time to process it all. I worked 5 days per week without lunch breaks for many months while still running my yoga studio! What a mess! My stress levels were high and I kept holding up the facade that everything was okay was just too much… I decided the cost to my health wasn’t worth all the overload.  I finally gave in and chose instead to honor and listen to my inner voice.

My Body Was Crying For Attention

I realized that all my health issues were my body’s way of giving me a wake-up call.  And I decided I wasn’t having any part of it anymore. Nope! I was not going to have my body create a disease, or an illness or a breakdown as a design plan for getting out of my overly busy life! I was not going to eat & drink myself into an early grave, I was not willing to risk a heart attack like my grandmother had experienced in her early fifties, and I am not feeding cancer cells like both my parents had, nor diabetes, or arthritis or any of it! Not in this lifetime! I Quit my Job. I knew I had to make some serious life changes…I began to step out from it all. I made arrangements to leave my full-time job, slowly cutting my hours down until they could replace me, I scaled down the number of extra hours I was teaching at my yoga studio, I backed out of some of the volunteer positions that I wasn’t enjoying as much anymore… I stopped reaching for that glass of wine to cope and started reaching out to find healthier ways to move forward and leave stress behind.

The Teacher Appears

Remember that saying, when the student is ready, the teacher appears? Well, I believe it’s true. When we listen to that inner voice and begin to follow those messages, we are lead to situations, people, places and things that help us along in our journey. I began to listen more deeply and feel in to which direction I wanted to head in next, I had the distinct feeling that I needed to somehow go deeper into my yoga and wellness career. Perhaps I needed a mentor or a program with like-minded people who understood my passion for wellness and health or to find a tribe who could nurture and support me in the direction that my soul was calling out for. I considered taking an advanced yoga teacher training but nothing seemed to be the right fit. Then by chance,  I began to notice a few posts on Facebook by Cate Stillman of Yogahealer. I felt drawn to watch some of Cate’s videos and became more curious about what she was talking about. I liked what she was sharing about optimizing your health and shifting your identity towards thriving. I wanted to know more. So I followed the thread and found Cate’s program, Body Thrive. Instinctively I knew this was the program for me and I signed up! Through the Body Thrive program, I learned how to incorporate daily healthy habits into my own life in ways that helped simplify the structure of my day and give it a routine that actually creates more space for me each day. I also found a wonderful mentor in Cate Stillman, whose knowledge is vast and whose vision is in line with my goals as a wellness practitioner.  I also found a supportive and nurturing group, a tribe of people who understand my passion for yoga and wellness, and my personal evolution. Because I listened to my inner voice and began to follow the steps that I was guided to take, I removed the stress from my life. I now take time to honor my body, eat healthy, sleep more, and nurture myself with the habits of Body Thrive. As a result, I no longer suffer any symptoms of swelling in the joints, and the lumps in my breast and underarm have disappeared and are no longer of concern. I knew it was stress acting out in my body, trying to get my attention. Now,  I awaken each day feeling refreshed and happy about life. I have an ease of living throughout my day and I feel more like myself again. I am now working for myself full-time. Both my yoga business and Yoga Health Coaching business are growing organically from a place of ease rather than from me trying to push or force things. And, I have begun to slowly un-schedule more of the unnecessary things from my day-to-day life.

Pause and Check In

Before I choose to add anything new to my daily schedule or say yes to any request for my time, I pause to feel in and determine whether or not it belongs on my calendar. I check to see if it is inline with my goals and intentions. If it is not a good fit, I have learned to say a polite “no thanks” and move on.  I also now make it a priority to schedule-in playtime and me-time to simply be still and fill up! And to listen to that inner wisdom and guidance. I am truly surprised by the changes that have occurred to me in the last year. My outlook on life is improved, my body’s health is vibrant and my business is growing at a steady rate. I can’t wait to see how I will evolve over the next year, or two, or three and beyond.…And, of course, I am leaving lots of room in my schedule for that!

How to Listen to That Little Voice

When that little voice inside starts trying to get your attention to tell you that you are overscheduled, stressed and out of alignment with your own integrity, stop and listen.

Here are a few suggestions to help you get started:

• Begin by taking a rest! Even when you are incredibly busy, you can still find a few minutes to pause. Try taking a nice long bath with some epsom salts, maybe drop in a few flower petals. Make it special… If baths are not your thing, then find a comfy chair to sit in or lay on your bed and try some slow breathing gently counting your breaths in out. Light a candle or set out some flowers to help create a relaxed mood. Give yourself 20 minutes or more to focus on relaxing the muscles of your body from head to toe. Let go of any thoughts that keep you from relaxing. If you find yourself going into worry or guilt, tell yourself that you are only taking 20 minutes, and that you can worry or stress if you must later! But for now you are resting and nurturing your body and your mind. Keep coming back to your breath, relax and let go.
• In this relaxed state ask yourself what changes you’d like to make in your life. Be honest with yourself and really listen to that inner voice. Jot down any messages that come to you in a private journal or notebook. Keep these thoughts safe if you need to. Sometimes, it can be better to keep new steps you are taking safe and sacred, only sharing with those who we know will support our growth.     
• If nothing comes at first, that is okay, you can try again later. You may need to practice this a few times. Set up another rest and relaxation appointment with yourself for the next day and keep trying. Eventually something will come, sometimes it just takes some practice listening in.
• Next, take some time to grab a calendar or print a few blank calendar pages that you can write in. Grab some colored markers or pens. Give yourself about 15 minutes for this. Write everything you currently do each week/month down on the calendar in one color. Be sure to get it all. For example; write down when you exercise, your work schedule, and meetings or volunteer events. Include driving kids to sports or making pies for the PTA or teaching yoga in the evening. Get it all down.
• From here take a moment to look over your calendar, grab a different colored marker and begin to draw a line through the tasks or events that you really don’t enjoy anymore or that bring you stress. Some of these may or may not be things that you can take off your list right away, that’s okay. Remember this is only a first draft. Next, circle the tasks or events that you could possibly let go of. And make some small changes where you can by eliminating those tasks that you have circled.

It’s okay to take your time with this process. For some, changing the calendar may take longer. Be patient with yourself, make small changes that you can stick to and make more changes when you can. Make sure you add some free time to your calendar a few times each week and don’t fill those free-time moments with appointments, use them to relax or play, or dance, or read or sit out in nature under a tree. Guard them with as much conviction as you do your work schedule or your doctor appointments, or anything else that is important to you. Your time must begin to become valuable. Keep listening to that inner voice and keep fine-tuning your work/play/life balance and eventually, you will get there. Be patient, loving and kind, you got this!