While some of us are blessed with a fun and festive holiday season, many of us or not. Some of us dread the holidays. Challenging relationship dynamics can spark a big blow up, or at a minimum grind on our nerves in a way that makes us feel neither merry nor bright. Gatherings with family, co-workers, or neighbors who have the ability to push our buttons can put a real damper on the holidays.

What’s a self-aware, big-hearted, peace-loving person to do?

I sat down, coach-to-coach, with Lael Petersen, Yoga Health Coach and Licensed Clinical Social Worker to get some TIPS on how to navigate relationship challenges so that you can enjoy the season and stay true to yourself. Read our informative conversation below.

Kirstin: Understanding ourselves in the context of our relationships is key to self-care. I’ve learned this in my own personal growth and in the lives of the women I coach. I know that we have the power to make changes in our relationships that support our own well-being. Do you see this in your work as a coach and therapist?  

Lael: Absolutely. In my coaching group, we’ve gotten to observe big relationship breakthroughs. Women who are committed to personal growth and self-care often find that they need to renegotiate the terms of their relationships so they can prioritize themselves. As a therapist, relationships are a central concern to many of my clients as well.

Kirstin: With the holidays upon us, and the potential for relationship challenges looms large. What do we need to understand that will help us show up more fully to events and festivities with grace and ease?

Lael: We need to understand fear. Fear makes things feel larger and scarier than they are. Fear shuts down the part of our brains that are responsible for making plans and decisions. When fear is activated, we don’t think clearly and can’t come up with options. When fear is in control, we tend to stay stuck in old patterns, and we are stuck repeating the same tensions, arguments, and hurt feelings year after year.

Kirstin: Yoga Health Coaches learn a lot about breaking old habits and patterns. What is the first thing you would tell one of your coaching clients if she was feeling the fear of a holiday-induced relationship meltdown?

Lael: Permission. You have the right to have a happy holiday. You have permission to NOT spend time with people who are challenging. You have permission to CHANGE how you spend time with the person. You have CONTROL over how you interact with the people around you.

Kirstin: Permission to put yourself first is a big growth area for a lot of us. Why is this so challenging?

Lael: Permission brings up our beliefs about what good a person, mother, or daughter would do or not do. If there is tension between who you really are, and who you believe you are supposed to be, it feels uncomfortable. It can be fear-provoking. You might feel the anxiety rising right now just talking about doing things differently.

Kirstin: Yes! I can feel a little edginess when I think about how it would feel to give myself permission to do things differently. I have pretty good relationships with most of my family, but I don’t always feel like I can totally be myself with them. What do you suggest?

Lael: I have three tips for you. First, identify your intention for the season, and keep it top of mind from now until the new year. If your intention is to make the holidays rich in experiences rather than expensive in terms of gifts, fancy dinners, travel, etc., keep that in mind when planning events and accepting or declining invitations.

Kirstin: Focusing on an intention is so important, but easy to lose track of in the frenzy of holidays. What do you suggest?

Lael: You have to keep reminding yourself! Write your intention on a post-it note and place it where you’ll see it – your bathroom mirror, the refrigerator, the dashboard of your car – so you’ll be reminded. Another way is to choose a piece of jewelry that you designate as your “intention memento.” When it catches your eye, or you feel it on your skin, take that as a cue to check in with yourself and ask if you are staying true to your intention or need to make some changes to your plans.

Kirstin: That first tip was kind of a twofer. Set an intention. Then find ways to remind yourself and check in to be sure you are making choices that align with your desires and needs. What are your other two tips?

Lael: The other two tips are about planning ahead to set yourself up for success. Use your brain in a calm state to prepare and rehearse a few one-liners that will help you change the energy and the subject when needed. For example, “Oh Mom, Let’s not go there today. Let’s just enjoy the holiday.” A one-liner like that one will allow you to change the subject without too much drama.

The other part of planning ahead is to put support in place ahead of time. Make a plan with your partner, favorite cousin, or compassionate co-worker who can provide support, distractions, or help you ease out of an uncomfortable conversation if needed.

Kirstin: Perfect. Anything else before we wrap this up?

Lael: Don’t forget to celebrate your success with a reward that will reinforce your intentions and habits for navigating relationship challenges. I don’t mean reward yourself with a cookie and a tall glass of eggnog. Text your trusted support person. Tell yourself, “good job!” and smile at your wins. You’re doing great work to create a more merry holiday, and setting the stage for healthier relationships all year long.

Let’s Review the Steps for Calm and Happy Holidays

1. Understand the Role of Fear. Fear is your inner voice alerting you to possible “danger,” such as the tension between family members or the too-high expectations you feel at work. Thank your fear for the information, and then take a couple deep breaths. Once you’re calm, make a plan for how you will respond to the challenges fear helped you identify.
2. Set an Intention. Take 30 minutes to journal about what you want to do, have, and feel this holiday season. Then write about why this is important to you. Finally, choose a word or short phrase that will remind you of this intention. Post it on your bathroom mirror so you can be reminded of it every day.
3. Plan Your One-Liners. Think about the likely interactions that may ruffle your feathers, and pick one or two one-liners that you can use when needed. It’s not crazy to practice this with your spouse or a friend so they come out naturally, even when you’re a little flustered.
4. Get Support From Trusted Friends and Family. Grab chai with a friend and talk about your intention, your one-liners, and ask for support. Make a plan to text your friend when you are feeling stressed, or for her to check in on you each week.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Have a Happy Holiday. ‘Nuff said. You deserve to be as happy as anyone else.  

My conversation with Lael reminded me of this quote: “Smile, breathe, and go slowly.”

Perhaps these words from Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh will be a starting point for your planning and intention setting. I hope you’ll use the tips Lael shared to give yourself permission to be true to yourself regardless of the relationship dynamics you’ll encounter this season. With some pre-planning and support, you can navigate relationship challenges with a sense of ease.

How will you create the holiday you truly want this year? Please tell me of your trials and successes in the comment section below. I am here for you!

As a mental health therapist, a yoga teacher trainer, a coach, and a human, I have found that a cleanse for the mind can be extremely helpful in dealing with everyday stress. If we are not able to cleanse negative and unhelpful thoughts from our minds, they too, like the doshas, can build up over time and lead us to a place of dis-ease.

In my own life and in all of the roles I hold in guiding others toward greater health, I turn to mantra as a regular practice to cleanse the mind and the thoughts.

While the word is subject to different interpretations, the word mantra is believed to come from the roots Manos meaning ‘mind’ and Tra meaning ‘vehicle’ or ‘that which carries across’. So, I describe a mantra as a “mind train”. When my mind is spinning, I simply place it on a mind train and send it off in the direction that would be more helpful for me.

In mental health therapy, I explain this concept as a way to take a time out from the frantic energy of the mind that contributes to anxiety, fear, panic, and depression. When we can focus completely on repeating a sound, word, or phrase over and over, we leave no room in the mind for worry, criticism, judgment, shame, rumination, etc. that can so frequently become the norm.

A mantra can be a sound, a word, or a phrase that is repeated over and over to help keep the mind focused where we want it. Our thoughts are energy and they create vibration in our bodies and our lives. That vibrations affects our happiness, and our mental, physical health and our ability to cope. When we use mantra to direct our thoughts to more helpful and healthy places, we can change our entire experience of what is happening, our perspective, and our ability to respond in the moment.

When repeating mantra, it can be said out loud, as a whisper, or silently in the mind. It can be practiced any time and any place without anyone even knowing if needed. Mantra is a powerful support that we can lean back on when we feel out of control or when we don’t know where else to turn. It can bring the peace needed to pause and then decide where to go next in our thoughts, words, and actions.

Finding a mantra that feels good and that represents your intention around what you would like to shift is important. We can really use any language that we prefer. Here a some short mantras to consider:

1. Just This– This mantra is used with the breath, inhaling and thinking “just”, exhaling and thinking “this”. It is a way to practice mindfulness and to stay in the moment when our minds are fighting to wander out of the body and out of the present. This mantra helps me to stay focused and present when I feel overwhelmed.
2. So Hum– This mantra is also used with the breath, inhaling “so” and exhaling “hum”. So Hum can be translated as ‘I am that’ or ‘I am that which I am becoming’. This mantra reminds me that I am in forward motion toward who I want to be and it is all already inside of me, I simply have to tap in to it.
3. Om– This mantra is the ultimate default mantra. You can never go wrong with repeating or chanting Om. Om means all the things. It has been defined as the vibration of the universe and all that is. Om is calming and helps me to feel in touch with the power of the universe.
4. 2 word intention– This mantra consists of choosing 2 words that would represent something you are wanting to grow in yourself. For example, while writing this blog, I used the words “creative and present”. On the inhale, I repeat “I am creative” and on the exhale, I repeat “I am present” in my mind. This type of mantra helps me to affirm who I am growing in to in each moment.

Consider trying a thought cleanse with mantra. As with other practices, mantra can take time to become automated and we must think of it as an added support rather than an additional task that we must master. Be gentle with yourself as you try on different mantras. Notice how you feel as you are using one and afterwards.

It may be that you find one mantra to stick with for a 40-day practice, or it may be that you use different mantras depending on the situation. However you choose to use mantra, you can begin to experience the power of directing your mind where you want it to go when you want it to go there.  

Check in with me and let me know how it is going or if you have a favorite mantra that you are using.

We are supposed to go see a trained professional, get a test, a pill, a treatment from someone educated and up on the latest scientific studies and breakthroughs. They know how to help us. We take our aches and pains with the best descriptions we can muster and wait for their diagnosis.

The idea that we each have a lot of control over our health and can respond to these aches and pains with guidance from our own bodies can be dismissed swiftly and easily both by our own brains and by the health care systems around us.

Consider that the body has a greater ability to heal than anyone has ever allowed us to believe. As we practice yoga, ayurveda, and other embodying disciplines, we notice an experience that this body has a lot of wisdom that is is trying to share, and it just might have something to contribute when it comes to its own healing.

What if we could sync into inner wisdom and connect to an all knowing doctor who could help us steer clear of pitfalls in our health? What if we could find our personal in-house doctor, willing to tell us everything that we need to know, if only we are able to hear what it has to say.

Tapping into this can be better than a pill. Ownership of this connection creates confidence and independence. A high all of its own, and I want to share with you how I tap in.

The practice starts with an attempt to filter the cultural message enough to allow our body truth to be heard. We think we will need to coax this wisdom out of our bodies, but in reality, when we are ready, it is effortless, because this inner doctor is just as eager to connect with us.

Here is the formula that I use to connect us to that all powerful healing place.

The 4 Steps To Finding Your In-House Doctor

1. Tune In

Simply take a moment to shift your focus inward. This is one of the 8 limbs of yoga called Pratyahara. It means to withdraw the senses, like a turtle going into its shell.  We start here, intentionally taking the time to drop inward.

Let me use an analogy: Imagine going into a dark room and needing time to let your eyes adjust to the new level of light.  Allow yourself time to take a breath and give it a minute. Let your eyes adjust to this metaphorical dark room. Begin to see outlines of things and get a sense of what else is in the room with you.

This happens when you tune inward, when you withdraw the senses. You notice your breath, the movement in parts of your body, the feel of the air on your skin. More and more you open up to subtle feeling.

THIS is tuning in. It is our first step.

2. Listen

Once you are tuned in, you have no other job but to listen. The outside world gets quieter and you can hear discerning messages from your body.  Are you tense or relaxed, in pain or feeling good, is your breath smooth or jittery, deep or shallow, full or incomplete?

Your focus becomes just one of listening and acknowledging the status quo of the body.  Donna Farhi in “The Breathing Book” refers to this as Inner Literacy saying “as we become more internally literate, we start to access our own internal doctor who can warn us of trouble before it becomes serious”. Develop your understanding of the messages coming from within your body and you add whole new and important literacy tool to your wellness quest.

Listening is as easy as stopping for a moment, taking a deep breath and ask yourself “What do I need right now?” Then allow your body – not your brain – to answer the question. You will be amazed at the simplicity of the request. More often than not the body is asking for just a few moments of self care. As easy as getting a drink of water, taking a pee break, getting up to stretch, closing your eyes, putting a pair of socks on your cold feet.

Honestly, listen to the small stuff and you wont need to hear it yell big stuff at you.

3. Respond

Choose your reaction to these sensations astutely.  What is your body telling you that it needs? Is it possible to not override these feelings with your bossy brain?

This is common, when our ego brain gets a message that it doesn’t like, it rushes to rationalize and negate. There can be a loop in our brain that is always pushing away the truth of how we are doing, stopping us from actually listening to what our body is trying to tell us. This becomes a huge opportunity to notice our own inner critic and begin to quiet it.

In this place we are usually not acknowledging our body messages, and it becomes easy to say “I don’t know what is wrong with me”. In Deborah Adele’s “The Yamas and Niyamas” she points out that saying “I just don’t know what to do” is dodging something that feels hard to accept, and that “more often than not, we know what to do: the cost of our realness just seems too high at the time”.

This is HUGE.

How often have you felt like you need to be doing something different, but don’t act on that impulse because it is scary?

Our response to our self needs to be one of compassion, grounded in respect and truth. When we tune out the messages of our body because it ruffles the status quo of our lives, we create a ripe arena for dis-ease.

Your response to the messages your body offers, is your opportunity to offer nurturance, to create strong communication lines to the vitality and wisdom of your body.

As you listen you are fostering an important ability, an increase in literacy if you will. As this ability grows you find that your response can be more and more accurate, leading you to healing in every choice you make.

Can I put the words ability and response together for a moment? Switch which one is first? The new word is Response-Ability. Responsibility.  WHOA. What we are doing is developing your personal Responsibility. Freakin’ Cool.  

4. Feel the Rewards

So you have tuned in, listened, responded, and now it is time to absorb the appreciation from your body.

This step may be the most important. You must allow yourself some analysis time at the end of your practice to notice the results. This is the time that you let all the inquiry outcomes rise up to a conscious level.

Let your whole system make note of the effect of the stimulus you applied or the question you considered, create positive neuromuscular pathways, and efficient brain-body connections.

In the book  “Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment Calm and Confidence” by neuropsychologist Rick Hanson describes how we can create self directed neuroplasticity toward inner strength as you “activate mental states then install as neural traits”.

Each time you tune in, listen, and respond, you will notice how the choices you made are affecting you, a process of integration is going on in your background physiology, creating the foundation for the next version of yourself to arise.  As Rick Hanson states “You turn every day good experiences into good neural structure”.  Hardwiring new crucial patterns into your brain body connection.

Connecting to Your In House Doctor

Practicing the connection to your in house doctor makes it stronger, and as you connect you increase your response-ability, and sync into rhythms natural to your body.

This process is sped up when you start to apply Ayurvedic habits through the 4 step filter. Your body will eat up positive choices, your inner doc cheering your every circadian choice.

Your body will get really blunt and obvious about bad choices. In fact, the opportunity of tuning in, listening, responding, and feeling the rewards is like practicing science experiments on yourself. Testing theories and seeing your results. The very definition of Ayurveda is the science of life. Interesting isn’t it?

Use this 4 step process in your yoga, meditation, or ayurveda practice as a filter to check to see your body’s reaction. Every time your body will communicate to you how the practice created change in your body.

The more you practice the more you notice, when you ‘Feel the Rewards’ you will see yourself enjoying the dividends of a healthy vibrant fulfilled life.

Icing on the cake!

Where did the celebration of Gurupurnima come from?  

Gurupurima is an ancient practice of honoring the teacher.

A great teacher Veda Vyasa who compiled the 4 Vedas, translated the Maharabharata, and the 36 Paranas was the inspiration of this holiday. His students wanted to thank him for his  contribution to their lives.

They asked him how they could honor him. He said to choose one day to bestow their teacher with gifts and their offerings. They choose the day of the brightest fullest full moon of the year to be Gurupurnima to honor this teacher.

This tradition was set many centuries ago and has been celebrated ever since.

Ways to honor our teachers this month.

• You can make a gift in their name.
• You can send them notes, presents and offerings.
• Contemplate what would your teacher love to receive?

Your greatest gift to them is to live life to your full potential.

My own teachers have had a profound influence on me. When you meet a great teacher, you begin to hear an inner resonance. What they say touches your heart. You begin to see yourself through their eyes. A great teacher will recognize the greatness within you and you will start to see this in yourself.

I never feel diminished around great teachers, however, it’s not always comfortable to be around great teachers. In the presence of a great teacher you feel challenged to move into new territory, to face your inner demons of the small self/ego, and to step into your fullest potential.

Teaching that Wisdom is from Within

Teachers influence our lives through setting a great example of behavior. Sally Kempton, one of my favorite teachers, taught me to recognize that the guidance I am always looking for outside myself comes from within. This is such a powerful teaching. Everything we need is inside us. How can this be? There is so much help out there. I must need a lot of help!! I cannot tell you how much money, time and energy I have spent on self improvement seminars – it’s endless.

Honoring the teacher within and without is really what the month of Gurupurnima is all about. This is  an especially important message to receive at this time in the world with so much chaos and uncertainty.

The other blessing we receive from our gurus, our great teachers is the glimpse of the divine, that feeling of being in the presence of something bigger and larger than us.

Experiencing The Divine Presence

Many yoga teachers talk about the Great Self, Universal Consciousness, Shiva, Shakti, Prana…
There are so many questions as to where to turn to solve issues in your life, for your family and  in our communities.  What is the next right step (Swahdharma) for us as individuals, for our families and for our communities?

A great teacher will connect you to your inner guide… the guru within, the Great Self.

What is the guru within? How do you find it?

How do you experience this inner presence?

Some describe this presence as…

• Swirling lights
• Vast stars in an endless dark night,
• An ocean pulsating with love, emptiness, stillness
• a penetrating blue light emanating from the 3rd eye
• Waves of love washing over the body
• Undulating energy that moves deep inside
• Deep heaviness of the outer body and expansion within
• A blue/black pulsating presence that envelops us
• The seeker disappears into the feeling of love and oneness
• A giant eye peering back at you from within

Some folks see actual saints, sages, gurus who are no longer in a body. They may have never seen nor heard of these people but they show up in their meditations.

Others see spirit guides in the form of animals, totems, mandalas, or hear celestial music or the sound of OM pulsating inside. Some feel a pulsating movement of the Shakti throughout their body.

All these are manifestations of energy that has been awakened.

How does this happen?

Through practices like asana, meditation or chanting. You can also experience this by coming into contact with a realized being like a Guru or through shared practices with a community of awakened beings.

The Hugging Guru

How do we connect deeper with the divine presence within?

I was in the presence of a real Guru recently.  Sri Mata Amritanandamayi or Amma, as she is lovingly called by her students. She is also known as the hugging Guru.

There were huge lines of devotees queuing up to get her hugs. All around the hall people were buzzing with anticipation. Love filled the air as this compassionate realized being gives her devotees individual hugs sometimes for 22 hours straight without breaks.

I have been in this amazing being’s presence and received her hugs 3 times over the past 15 years. The experience was so beautiful. As she hugged me she chanted Namoh, Namoh, Namoh in my ear. It reverberated in my heart for days afterwards.

In this guru experience the divine mother is there holding you in her love and compassion. The name for this devotional love is Bhakti. You feel this divine love in her presence and when you chant with great kirtan masters like Krishna Das. Your heart melts in the presence of this deep transpersonal love.

We are living through a unique time in history when everyone on the planet needs a collective hug. The constant barrage of bad news blasting away at us on a daily basis is enough to drive anyone towards someone who might have the answer we are seeking.

Amma’s teachings are simple and beautiful.
“True love is that which helps us experience life and the life-force everywhere. If your love doesn’t enable you to see this, such love is not real love. It is illusory love.”

When folks ask what do we bring Amma as a gift. She tells them their suffering!

My students come to my yoga classes to find solace, peace of mind, hope. We are looking for something that will help us move forward when the momentum is moving civilization in the opposite direction.

Where are your teachers?

Where do you turn to for guidance? What blogs, websites, books, webinars, seminars, retreats do you attend to help you find your center, your inner guidance?

In honor of the month of the teacher check out this list of inner practices that were given to me by my teachers that will help you find your inner GPS. The practices are a way of reconnecting to your own inner Guru.

There are so many questions as to where to turn to solve issues in your life, for your family and  in our communities. What is the next right step (Swahdharma) for us as individuals, for our families and for our communities?

A great teacher will connect you to your inner guide… the guru within, the Great Self.

Honour Your Teachers

In honour of Gurupurima share in the comments below your great teachers and the gurus that have blessed your life.

There are many paths to this place of stillness, but first of all, what is stillness? To the beginner, it may seem like the elusive state of mind that you read about in the ancient spiritual texts. To the novice, it may be a glorious state of calm that is reached every so often. To the seasoned meditator, it is a state of being, the state that scientists of the highest caliber are studying.  So how would one turn off the mind and find their way into this place of stillness? Well for starters the mind is a thinking machine. And behind this thinking machine are the subtle layers of clarity. Some lineages of meditation have called these layers the “clear light mind” while others have referred to it as the “seat of the observer”. This is the place of stillness beyond your senses, void of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs.

Our minds love to wander, don’t they? Sometimes you may feel that you can’t sit still, or your mind won’t stop. This could be from stress, overwhelm and/or not processing a portion of your inner dialogue, emotions and experiences. That was my experience.

So how does it work and how can you learn to experience this state even when the mind is reflecting a relentless hungry child? Let’s explore two practices I have adopted to help continue a meditation practice and cultivate inner peace.

Two meditative practices that help you find your zen.

1. Mind wandering.

I have discovered that during my day, my mind becomes overwhelmed and then fatigued. Meditation is a great place for me to find some rejuvenation from this fatigue, and this is my strategy to enhance the practice. Through trial and error, when I sit on my cushion to meditate, the mental fatigue would keep my mind very active and easily distracted. So I tried pulsing between focus and freedom  — focusing my mind for as long as possible and then allowing it to wander. I liken this to exercising a muscle, it is the strengthening and releasing that builds strength and resilience.

This is a particularly easy way to zentopia and a very popular route to spark creativity and thinking outside of the box. If you find yourself trying to hard or having a hard time staying focused, mind wandering can be a great tool to troubleshoot an overactive mind.  It is like letting the dog off the leash in a park. After running, sniffing and exploring every scent and corner of the park, it calms down and begins to rest in the tranquility of being.

Life can be very heavy and stressful, so inviting lightness into your practice can leave you feeling refreshed to keep you coming back for more. What I have found during those times the mind just wants to lick every thought and eat every sensation, let it! Let it go for a few minutes and tire itself out. You will see that after a few minutes of running wild it is much easier to go deeper into your inner zen-den and find the calm seat behind the chaotic mind.

2. Explore the senses.

Your senses are interpreters of your world. When overstimulated they can become dull and, well, desensitized. The act of moving your awareness through the senses helps to calibrate the senses and calm the mind. To do this, grab a timer and set it for 2-3 minutes. During that time fix your attention on one sense. For example:

• When you are fixed on the sense of smell, focus on the smells around you and notice them as they are. Experience the smell or lack thereof without labeling or judgment.
• Explore the different sounds happening from all directions. The sounds near to you, and far from you, receiving them as they come.
• Soften your gaze on a stationary object and look at it. Without trying to focus on the object itself, continually let go of the need to focus and relax the eyes.
• Feel all of the things touching your skin, clothes, floor and even air temperature. Feel the contrast between all of the sensations. For example, cool and warm, soft and firm.
• Notice the tastes in your mouth. Without preference to change anything, accept the flavors as they are in the moment.

Technically this is an alternating concentration practice and is a great warm-up for the longer single-pointed focus practices. It is highly effective because it promotes concentration while calming the senses and organs of action.

While a meditation technique such as single-pointed focus (or dharana) is a powerful step along your path to inner peace, these two practices can be helpful strategies when your meditations could use a little help. It is still a great idea to find a quiet time with the intention to focus the mind. The practice of focus and concentration helps find balance in the overstimulating world we live in and helps to cultivate strong mental focus, presence and bodily awareness.

I think of meditation as shifting to be a state of being more than a practice itself, so enjoy your journey to zen-topia and choose a meditative practice that suits your needs in the moment.

The success of your trip depends on how you prepare and execute your trip. It takes advance planning to travel together with parents, grandparents, nieces, nephews, cousins, brothers, aunts and uncles.

It requires syncing up multiple calendars and getting everyone on the same page for your journey. And then when you arrive at your destination, everything could go so right or so wrong! Not everyone wants this type of family reunion but if you are all in, a multi-generational family trip can be a once in a lifetime event.

Last fall, I traveled to Italy with my parents, my adult brother, sister in law and my two nephews, ages 10 and 14. We traveled during American Thanksgiving. Our trip lasted about two weeks and was remarkable in many ways. We got to know each other, had adventures, learned many new things, and gained new appreciation of our family. There were pitfalls, moments of boredom, illness, exasperation and confusion, but all in all we worked through it and ended up having a blast.

Take Advantage of the Opportunity

As a Yoga Health Coach, as well as someone invested in intergenerational relationships, I want you to know that traveling with parents, grandparents, kids and teens will require work. I assure you it will be worth the effort and I am here to help you plan your trip. 

Technology, modern modes of transportation as well as a wealth of information make planning an intergenerational trip easier than ever before. As a student of Gerontology, I have learned that never before have so many older adults been alive on the planet. The opportunity to travel with two or three generations has never been as-as possible as it is today. I hope that my tips and tricks can help you to envision packing your bags and buying your tickets to enjoy a unique experience with multiple generations of family and extended family.

In advance of our family voyage, I wondered how things would go. We had so many different personalities and travel styles, not to mention the various generations that would be joining our tour. In Ayurveda and Yoga Health Coaching we learn to balance the elements of our own constitution. Traveling with multiple generations means lots of different elements of age and personality.

Balancing the Generational Doshas

In Ayurveda there are three distinct stages of life. All three stages would be present on our trip. The Kapha or earth stage of childhood was represented by my nephew Tucker, the fiery stage of life or Pitta which includes my teenage nephew Spencer and my sister in law, Joann. My brother, my parents and I are all over age 50 and would be considered in our wise years of Vata or air and ether.

All of these different stages of life have different needs and considerations. And then add to that mix that each one of us has our own personality blueprint and elemental makeup. Some of family members might be considered space cadets, forgetful, or running late. Other family members are slow, headstrong or determined to do their thing. How do you find balance with a diverse group?

Just as you balance your own constitution holistically, look to find balance in seeking what is missing or what will bring cohesion to the group.

All Aboard?

We started with a schedule.

My sister in law and I were informally nominated to come up with our plans. We were lucky to have the help of a travel company who helped us to book some tours with guides that catered to families and had experience helping us to explore Florence and Rome while not boring either the kids or the adults. We had a list of possible excursions and itineraries.

Wherever you are going whether it is wild nature or an historic destination, you can use guidebooks to come up with your own plan or use a professional tour or nature guide. The advantage of having someone outside your family as a guide will be that they will have a natural authority that hopefully all family members will defer to. If you can’t get a guide or want to spare the expense, allow a family member to take on the roll of tour guide or leader. Whoever you choose, they will need to use their pitta energy. Make sure whoever directs your family group is up for the task of getting everyone all aboard.

I’ve compiled the tips and tricks of for intergenerational travel and adventures. I hope this list will help you to plan for your next trip whether it is a foray into wild nature, a tour in a foreign country or an adventure in your own homeland. Below are some ideas for you to feel confident that you will have fun the moment you say the words, Bon Voyage!

5 Tips for Fun Intergenerational Travel

1. Balance Each Day.

Know that all family members have competing interests yet seek a fulfilling shared experience. Split time between focused, intentional activities and plenty of UNPLANNED TIME. If you ask people to come together, whether it is for a crafting activity, a tour of local museum, or a hike to a local river, understand the need to follow that structured time with very unstructured time. Some will want to shop, others will want to sit by the pool. Some will want to go scuba diving, rock climbing or play video games indoors. These days when families get together the range of interests can be infinite.

Try to give everyone the mornings off and then schedule afternoon activities. Or schedule morning activities followed by the afternoon free. This way family members arrive fresh and ready to spend quality time together. There will be less of a need to skip out on any of the important plans that you have made and maybe even paid for if you give your family free time. No one feels trapped when there is plenty of down time. When all travelers know they have a day off to do whatever the heck they want it, intentional activities so much easier to do.

2. Appeal to All Appetites.

Find family friendly tour guides or activities that will satisfy the appetites of all generations. When we were in Italy, we had a wonderful tour guide in Florence who came up with several winning ideas to occupy the kids and tweens on our tour. When we went to see the statue of the David. Carlo brought along a sketch pads for my 10 year old nephew and his older brother so they could do their own rendition of the iconic marble figure. While both of my nephews don’t consider themselves artists, Carlo gave them instructions for how to look at the sculpture and bring their own observations to pencil and paper. Amazingly, boredom was not an issue at that museum.

When we spent time in Tuscany my sister-in-law and nephews and me all took an Italian cooking class. There may be opportunities for breakout groups and enjoy certain particular activities such as cooking as a biking tour, a zip line adventure or taking in a local dance performance. Airbnb local experiences have an incredible selection of all kinds of mind boggling family and intergenerational activities, even if you don’t book a guide through Airbnb look at the offerings. Just looking at the options can expand your creativity in terms of what activities might be possible. You will find family or kid friendly will be tagged as such.

3. Make sure that everyone has food, water and snacks.

Keep all generations of travelers happy in the body, minds and spirit. is absolutely critical to the success of your adventures, especially if you are moving around in the world or in a foreign country. If you are at an all expense covered resort, this won’t be an issue. If you are on a budget and or in a foreign country or walking around a place you don’t know too well, be prepared.

If your 7 year old forgot to eat breakfast, he may not last through lunch on a long museum tour. If a grandparent goes on a long hike to a remote lake  becomes hot and becomes dehydrated things can go south for the whole group. When you are near chairs, have people sit. When you are near a bathroom, remind all generations to use the ‘loo,’ as they say in England.

You may want to put a person in charge of water, snacks, bathroom breaks and rest breaks daily. If you are on an outdoor adventure. Choose an adult for the daily checklist. At the start of your tour, adventure or hike, have that one adult can check in with group members, did everyone bring water, go to the bathroom, eat or bring a snack? Check, check and check.

Rotate the role of “camp counselor,” so no one family member gets labeled as a nag. Everyone shares the burden of remembering to take care of simple body needs that become a bigger deal with large groups moving in the world.

4. Meals can be a boon or a bust.

Chances are you’ll have at least one vegan and several serious carnivores. Make your own adjustments according to your trip. Does your grandma follow a Keto diet while your cousin prefers pasta at every meal? Check menus online in advance when possible and make compromises so everyone feels well fed and taken care of.

Some family members may like to eat an earlier, lighter, dinner while others prefer to dine late. In Italy some restaurants actually believe it or not did not open until 8PM. I ended up changing my own meal schedule on our trip. I skipped breakfast because if I eat a late dinner and then a big breakfast, I just don’t feel good. Even though we always had an amazing complimentary breakfast served at our hotels, I stayed away, drinking only water, tea and juice until noon. I ate only lunch and dinner only and it totally worked for that trip. I never remember being hungry and of course it was Italy.

5. Use Boredom Buffers Wisely.

With modern kids and teens you may need to help them out with special boredom buffers to help them make it through a long dinner, lunch or other long drawn out activities.

I remember my nephews getting really fed up at some of the long drawn out meals,  multi-course meals in Italy, I think it was a double whammy of the length of the meals and that we went out every single night. My brother and sister in law allowed them to bring along electronic devices or books to keep them entertained, but not all the time and every night. You may have to compromise some rules to get compliance on others. Make sure to speak your terms clearly on electronic gadgets, especially with teens.

All Aboard for Fun and Adventure

The multigenerational train is leaving the station, all will be aboard for fun and adventure when you create the structure and balance the elements in yourself and your family.

Sharing experiences with multiple generations has never been easier to accomplish and I hope you will choose to give it a GO! If you have already planned or gone on a similar trip, leave your comments below. I would love it if you would share your favorite family travel tips or mis-adventures so we can all learn and enjoy the amazing opportunity of traveling with young, old and in between.

I affectionately began to call it my “Five Friday Ritual.” Here were the instructions she gave me:

1. Go to a nearby river and sit on the river bank, offering various fruits, flowers, coins and honey to the Deva or Goddess of the river in exchange for guidance, wisdom and prosperity.
2. Wear something nice, something more elegant than my everyday attire. I was told to imagine that I was truly meeting with a Goddess and to wear something appropriate for such a sacred encounter.
3. She instructed me to be very present and to honor my highest vision of myself. I was to pray and give thanks for each item before offering it to the River. And then to pause between offerings, allowing for space.
4. Once the ritual was complete I was to sit and pay close attention watching for signs from nature that might show up as a message, a symbol, or “good omen” along the river bank.

Thank God It’s Friday!

I followed all of her instructions very carefully and carried out the steps each Friday for five consecutive weeks. I began to deeply look forward to Friday evenings when I would finish work, rush home to gather the supplies that I had lovingly chosen earlier in the week from the grocery store, and head to the river. The first week I wore some pretty earrings, a silk scarf and some lipstick with a flowing skirt. For the offerings, I had chosen a small bunch of grapes of which I offered five grapes one at a time to the river, along with 5 shiny bright coins, a small jar of honey and 5 daisy flowers that I had picked. I then lit an incense to let burn by the side of the river, watching the tendrils of incense smoke flowing with the air currents along the river’s edge. The second week I stepped it up a bit and wore some gold bangles, one of my favorite necklaces and bought a bag of apples and some more daisies. By week three I couldn’t wait to get to the river bank after work, and had been daydreaming all day about what I was going to wear, and how lovely it was going to feel to sit by the river.

TGIF For My River Dates

Each week I felt more excited about my ritual and brought higher quality offerings. By the end of the five weeks, I was wearing a beautiful kimono woven with golden threads and tossing gold pears, shiny dollar coins, organic honey, and store bought gerbera daisies to the river. I was sparing no expense! I had begun to love my weekly ritual so much that I was sad my five weeks had come to an end. I noticed that the experience of it all left me feeling empowered and beautiful. I felt as though I was a sacred Deva or Goddess myself. And the prayer and meditation had their effects on me too. I was more grounded and peaceful. I felt more creative and happy. And although I did actually get some powerful messages at that river’s edge, I realized that those messages weren’t even the best part of it all. What really became sacred for me was the ritual itself. It was the extra care I took to groom and prepare my appearance, and the thoughtful manner in which I selected the special items each week for my offerings, the time I gifted myself each week to go and do something special just for me! These were the gifts, this was the magical experience that I took away from it all…that I was worthy of such care, that I deserved the best, and that my time was sacred.

Through Ritual the Mundane Becomes Sacred

What if we began to see our daily Habits more like a sacred ritual? How would making habits sacred change the way we began, moved through and ended each day? That experience of following the “Five Friday Ritual” created in me a deep connection, and I often find myself craving to repeat it, and perhaps one day I will. What I have come to realize lately is that the Daily Habits we keep can also become like sacred rituals. As I shift deeper into the Body Thrive Habits, repeating them over and over in the past year, I really allowed them to sink in. I realized that I can bring that same level of magic and sacred nurturing into each day. Now as I drink my warm water in the morning I can view it as offering honey to my inner goddess. My daily oil massage becomes a way to honor the divine through my own hands. My meditation can be an offering prayer and gratitude to the river. My breath body practices can be like a dance to connect inward, and each choice to nurture becomes a sacred ritual in honor of my purpose, my Dharma, each step a moment to pause and choose my own divinity.

Self Massage For Your Inner Goddess

Here’s my tip on how to bring the sacred into your own daily habits, through the practice of Self Massage. Before beginning your daily self massage routine, pause, taking a few conscious breaths and set intentions for your Abhyanga practice. Close your eyes and allow your imagination to play with what you want. Ask yourself how would your skin and body be treated if you were a goddess? And follow your thoughts into how that might look or feel. Perhaps your skin would be lovingly massaged with warm deliciously scented oils, maybe you would be in a luxurious room with decadent lush towels and beautiful flowers. Perhaps there would be soft angelic music drifting through the room and a feeling of deep belonging and worthiness. A sense of sweetness surrounding you. Allow the images and feelings that come to you to vibrate deeply within you and then loving begin to touch and rub and massage your own being as though you are also that incredible Goddess too.

Use These Tips for All of the Daily Habits

Take my approach into all of the Daily Habits and make them sacred. Use your imagination and have fun with it. Connecting to something bigger can truly enhance your experience of the habits and strongly bring in the deep care and nurturing that you as a human Deva or Goddess deserve naturally.

The migraines eased when I was 10.  But year after year my asthma worsened. Characterized by an overactive immune system and inflammation of the airways, asthma can be experienced as restricted breathing, coughing and wheezing.  It can be triggered by infections, allergies, strong emotions, and exercise. 

My triggers?  All of the above. As an adult, I became so sensitive to cat dander that my office was off limits to co-workers. My regime of medications included three inhalers, antihistamines, and other oral medications.  A cold? Five days on prednisone. Thrush from the prednisone? Try an antifungal. I became a medication expert. And I began to wonder what would happen if I contracted something like H1N1. Would I be admitted to a hospital? Would prednisone, a drug with serious side effects, become a daily go-to?  

Experimenting with Alternate Options

Faced with the challenge of frequent flare ups, I began to experiment with alternative and complementary health care. I dabbled in supplements and spent money on tinctures and acupuncture. Progress was slow.

Then I hit a turning point:  my doctor recommended I try a new medication- a designer drug used to treat severe allergic asthma. I’d receive injections every three weeks- and be at risk of anaphylactic shock after each treatment. I was dumbfounded. Designer drugs? Me?  

This wake up call invited me into a deeper question – how could I stop the cycle of inflammation and illness?  How could I bolster my health so that exposure to allergens and viruses did not trigger such a massive response from my body?  I realized I needed to look at the heart of what was making me sick. I had to start taking full responsibility for my health.

Self Care + Daily Routines of Ayurveda

My journey began to shift more fully once I was introduced to Ayurveda, an Eastern model of medicine from India. I had looked to yoga as a way to manage stress, and Ayurveda was a key teaching in the first training I attended. Ayurveda can include consultations with trained physicians and treatments like massage, oiling, enemas and dietary changes. But my curiosity was most peaked by a book I found which depicted the daily routine recommended by Ayurveda. 

Based on the Ayurvedic clock and the doshas, energies that dominate different times of the day and seasons of the year, Ayurveda recommends specific times of day to eat, sleep, and do other types of self care. Awake before sunrise. Early morning meditation. Eat your biggest meal at midday. It was the first time I had seen self care mapped out as a routine – one that looked nothing like my current day.

Stress, Asthma + Disease

From the perspective of Ayurveda, disease has three causes: making negligent choices, disrespecting your senses, and living out of rhythm.   I needed to understand how my constitution was leading me on a path towards lung issues, and how to line up my lifestyle with the natural world around me. I had to give myself a chance to create physical and mental resilience by eliminating key sources of stress.

These three key areas became my transition points:

1. Food Stress – Hot Versus Cold

The first shift I made? Eating in a way that honours the 4 season climate I live in. Hot water therapy became a habit that I still use daily: I carry a thermos of hot water everywhere I go and sip from it throughout the day. Cold air conditioned offices warrant hot water therapy in the same way that cold winter days do. I never drink ice water, and only switch to room temperature water when it really heats up. 

Lemon is too drying for me – so I quickly became used to plain water.

This pattern is also mimicked in my food choices. I eat warm foods like soups and stews in cooler times and limit my intake of raw cold foods like salads and raw veggies to the hotter months. I learned to protect my ability to digest, my digestive fire, by not dampening it with cold food or drink during the coolest seasons.

2. Sleep Stress – Chronic Deprivation

Learning to let go of my night owl tendencies was another change that shifted my health. When I began to experiment with an earlier bed-time I realized that I had been living in a state of chronic sleep deprivation. I was able to see that fatigue was triggering stress in my personal relationships and at work, and that going to bed early was one of the most impactful ways I could create more ease. 

Ayurveda recommends we go to bed before 10pm and rise before 6am.  Embracing this schedule has made it easier for me to work, be in relationship with friends + family, and find ease in challenges. More ease means less stress and fewer flare ups.

3. Body Stress – Learning to Breathe with Ease

My final big learning came about when I noticed how often I carried worry and stress in my body.  Learning how to develop a soft and sweet relationship with my breath was new for me. I was used to pushing myself hard and breathing hard. Learning to use a mantra was one way I created a more friendly relationship with my breath.  Practicing ujjayi or ocean breath was another. I began to recognize how often I was tightening my torso in a way that stopped me from inhaling deeply. 

Learning how to deepen each in a breath and slow the release of each out breath helped me create a baseline of groundedness that I could access anywhere. Breathing became my go to way to recognize when I was stressed and the main tool I used to re-establish myself in a space of ease. 

Freedom in breath is the exact opposite of the experience of asthma. Working with this technique gave me the ability to stay calmer and more relaxed when I was sick. This means less constriction, less medication, and less uncertainty.

Daily Ease in Breath + Body

I’d love to say that my asthma has disappeared and I no longer need my inhalers. While this is not true, I have significantly shifted my lung health.

Freedom from daily medication use is a significant gain for me, as is the ability to breathe freely and to worry little about exposure to allergens. I rarely need prednisone. My entire system is less inflamed and less at risk for a flare up.  Living in line with nature, making discerning choices, honoring who I am – this is how I love my lungs.

How do we know when we have lost our voice?

Finding your voice, your moxie, your sparkle – is it all one?  I think so.  There is an energetic connection to everything that is you.  Finding your voice can be manifested in many ways. It may be through verbal communication,  dance, music, art, writing, cooking or any other endeavor that is uniquely you. We are all born with a “voice” but dealt different cards in life. Life events can shift how we speak and how we show up in the world.  So, how do we know when we have lost our voice?  Some people shut down when there is controversy or when challenged. Some of us may have been emotionally or physically wounded which made it hard to speak up. Others still may be raised with the belief that we are not to bring attention to ourselves.  For me, it is a combination of the above. I grew up in a house where we didn’t talk about daily events.  My dad died when I was 9. My earliest memories of him are of looking at the stars together and helping him in and out of his wheelchair.  My mom worked as a registered nurse. In the 1960’s nurses worked shifts; 7-3, 3-11, and 11-7. Not very conducive for sleep or overall health.  When my dad died my mother’s migraine headaches got worse and she went into a depression. As kids we did not talk about our day as often she was at work or in her room with the door closed. My sister and I grew up “figuring it out”, whether it be what to eat for dinner or preparing for school in the morning.  There wasn’t much conversation between me and my mom, so my opinions and concerns were not acknowledged. I don’t remember often having conversations with adults, just others kids on the block, or me in my head, attempting to navigate life. Sometimes this was okay. Other times not so good. 

As an adult, I found that I housed some of these old beliefs and residue from my early childhood, which made for poor communication.   I am not naturally good at engaging in and maintaining long conversations, especially when there is an emotional charge. In the past, if there was an emotional charge to a conversation, I gave my opinion and left. A drive by conversationalist.  For me it was the belief that I had to rely on myself.  I had done this for so long, it was my normal. When faced with a problem, I will try to figure it out myself rather that ask for help and support.  Asking for support still feels foreign. I am working on my verbal confidence, which to me means having the ability to articulate and own my thoughts and feelings; to understand that feedback does not mean failure. 

Developing your voice can be a challenging task.  It begins with acknowledging beliefs and behavioral patterns and stepping up to challenge them.  I have found self-reflection and enduring my own limitations to be excruciating but I understand now, you don’t have to live there.  You can’t change the deck but you can reshuffle it.

“Chip away at parts of your self to find the amazing.  The process of learning involves failure. Discomfort is the price of admission for anything worthwhile” 

Zack Woods

Voice your needs

If you listen to a Yogahealer podcasts, you may notice that while the topics dive in multiple directions, the speaker’s tend to provoke thought.  Cate recently chatted with Alexandra Epple. The topic was voicing your needs and how to ask for support. This really hit home for me. Alexandra and Cate discussed what happens when you are not heard or when you do not ask for support.  If we do not ask for support and keep our emotions inside, we are at risk for developing a breeding ground for anger and resentment.  The first step is to get clear on what you are asking for.  What is it that you need?   If there is an emotion attached to the need, explore the emotion and get clear on what the charge is about. Then, with clarity, find a time which works for both parties to discuss the issue.

We all need guidance, space, and time in order to change and become the next level of ourselves. In asking for help, we are humbled. We admit that we are interdependent, not isolated, and that we affect each other. 

Cate Stillman

You may have already noticed that your health habits do not exist in a vacuum. We are both affected by the habits of those around us and the habits of those around us affect us. If we want to maintain both our personal health habits and our relationships, we need to have good communication skills and be able to ask for support when we need it.   One way to do this is setting a time for weekly family meetings and keeping to it. Family meetings can be a platform to discuss the upcoming week, or events/issues members may need others support on. It can also be a great place to check in with your kids on how they are feeling at school, and ways to keep your family or household happy, healthy and safe. The more you develop your voice, the easier it is to act as an advocate for your child or community.  It takes a village.

I Could Not Say No

I found myself working longer hours than everyone else. I rarely said no to many work or volunteer requests that came my way. I would teach late night yoga classes, and I developed workshops while I tried to expand business at my yoga studio. I even lead community projects like organizing a donation box for our local women’s shelter through my yoga studio, running a mitten drive for our local food bank, and offering free karma yoga in the park! I was overworked, under-rested, hungry and tired. I would skid through the busyness of my days and when I would finally get home at the end of each day, I began to reach for a glass of wine (or two) to numb out. Too tired to cook a proper meal, I would make those quick fix meals from the freezer, or order takeout from restaurants. And weekends were not much different as they became an excuse to let my hair down and party, after all, I had worked hard long hours throughout the week. I was trying to justify it with the excuse that this is the norm, this was okay, this is just what we do.

The Price I Paid

Inevitably, every habit choice has its price. Eventually, my body began acting out with many different symptoms. First, there was swelling and pain in the joints for which the doctor wanted to send me for testing to the arthritis clinic, yet instinctively I knew it wasn’t arthritis. Next came the scare of swollen lymphs in my right underarm, and the development of a small lump in the breast tissue. This lead to a mammogram and a number of ultrasound check-ups over a period of several months. All bringing me to an overall feeling that I was headed down a terribly scary road…

A Little Voice Became a Scream

I began to hear a little voice inside telling me that I had to change things, that I couldn’t keep going this way, and that I deeply needed a rest. But how? I had so many commitments, maybe if just pushed through, maybe if I worked a little harder! I continued to ignore my real need for deeper nourishment. And soon that little voice started to become more like a scream.  I was certain that I was on the edge of a complete and total break-down. Mentally I was in overload, I was cranky at the end of each day and I begrudged having to get up each morning, let alone go off to work at my day job at a local financial institution, where part of my duties each day were to be kind, supportive and understanding, while using my skills to diffuse people’s frustrations, agitations and fears around their money issues. And I was held to a high standard. I couldn’t make any errors to the many varied transactions required of me each day, challenging to say the least. To top it all off, my workplace had been robbed several months earlier, my co-workers were traumatized, leaving us short-staffed. So those of us who stayed on didn’t even have the time to process it all. I worked 5 days per week without lunch breaks for many months while still running my yoga studio! What a mess! My stress levels were high and I kept holding up the facade that everything was okay was just too much… I decided the cost to my health wasn’t worth all the overload.  I finally gave in and chose instead to honor and listen to my inner voice.

My Body Was Crying For Attention

I realized that all my health issues were my body’s way of giving me a wake-up call.  And I decided I wasn’t having any part of it anymore. Nope! I was not going to have my body create a disease, or an illness or a breakdown as a design plan for getting out of my overly busy life! I was not going to eat & drink myself into an early grave, I was not willing to risk a heart attack like my grandmother had experienced in her early fifties, and I am not feeding cancer cells like both my parents had, nor diabetes, or arthritis or any of it! Not in this lifetime! I Quit my Job. I knew I had to make some serious life changes…I began to step out from it all. I made arrangements to leave my full-time job, slowly cutting my hours down until they could replace me, I scaled down the number of extra hours I was teaching at my yoga studio, I backed out of some of the volunteer positions that I wasn’t enjoying as much anymore… I stopped reaching for that glass of wine to cope and started reaching out to find healthier ways to move forward and leave stress behind.

The Teacher Appears

Remember that saying, when the student is ready, the teacher appears? Well, I believe it’s true. When we listen to that inner voice and begin to follow those messages, we are lead to situations, people, places and things that help us along in our journey. I began to listen more deeply and feel in to which direction I wanted to head in next, I had the distinct feeling that I needed to somehow go deeper into my yoga and wellness career. Perhaps I needed a mentor or a program with like-minded people who understood my passion for wellness and health or to find a tribe who could nurture and support me in the direction that my soul was calling out for. I considered taking an advanced yoga teacher training but nothing seemed to be the right fit. Then by chance,  I began to notice a few posts on Facebook by Cate Stillman of Yogahealer. I felt drawn to watch some of Cate’s videos and became more curious about what she was talking about. I liked what she was sharing about optimizing your health and shifting your identity towards thriving. I wanted to know more. So I followed the thread and found Cate’s program, Body Thrive. Instinctively I knew this was the program for me and I signed up! Through the Body Thrive program, I learned how to incorporate daily healthy habits into my own life in ways that helped simplify the structure of my day and give it a routine that actually creates more space for me each day. I also found a wonderful mentor in Cate Stillman, whose knowledge is vast and whose vision is in line with my goals as a wellness practitioner.  I also found a supportive and nurturing group, a tribe of people who understand my passion for yoga and wellness, and my personal evolution. Because I listened to my inner voice and began to follow the steps that I was guided to take, I removed the stress from my life. I now take time to honor my body, eat healthy, sleep more, and nurture myself with the habits of Body Thrive. As a result, I no longer suffer any symptoms of swelling in the joints, and the lumps in my breast and underarm have disappeared and are no longer of concern. I knew it was stress acting out in my body, trying to get my attention. Now,  I awaken each day feeling refreshed and happy about life. I have an ease of living throughout my day and I feel more like myself again. I am now working for myself full-time. Both my yoga business and Yoga Health Coaching business are growing organically from a place of ease rather than from me trying to push or force things. And, I have begun to slowly un-schedule more of the unnecessary things from my day-to-day life.

Pause and Check In

Before I choose to add anything new to my daily schedule or say yes to any request for my time, I pause to feel in and determine whether or not it belongs on my calendar. I check to see if it is inline with my goals and intentions. If it is not a good fit, I have learned to say a polite “no thanks” and move on.  I also now make it a priority to schedule-in playtime and me-time to simply be still and fill up! And to listen to that inner wisdom and guidance. I am truly surprised by the changes that have occurred to me in the last year. My outlook on life is improved, my body’s health is vibrant and my business is growing at a steady rate. I can’t wait to see how I will evolve over the next year, or two, or three and beyond.…And, of course, I am leaving lots of room in my schedule for that!

How to Listen to That Little Voice

When that little voice inside starts trying to get your attention to tell you that you are overscheduled, stressed and out of alignment with your own integrity, stop and listen.

Here are a few suggestions to help you get started:

• Begin by taking a rest! Even when you are incredibly busy, you can still find a few minutes to pause. Try taking a nice long bath with some epsom salts, maybe drop in a few flower petals. Make it special… If baths are not your thing, then find a comfy chair to sit in or lay on your bed and try some slow breathing gently counting your breaths in out. Light a candle or set out some flowers to help create a relaxed mood. Give yourself 20 minutes or more to focus on relaxing the muscles of your body from head to toe. Let go of any thoughts that keep you from relaxing. If you find yourself going into worry or guilt, tell yourself that you are only taking 20 minutes, and that you can worry or stress if you must later! But for now you are resting and nurturing your body and your mind. Keep coming back to your breath, relax and let go.
• In this relaxed state ask yourself what changes you’d like to make in your life. Be honest with yourself and really listen to that inner voice. Jot down any messages that come to you in a private journal or notebook. Keep these thoughts safe if you need to. Sometimes, it can be better to keep new steps you are taking safe and sacred, only sharing with those who we know will support our growth.     
• If nothing comes at first, that is okay, you can try again later. You may need to practice this a few times. Set up another rest and relaxation appointment with yourself for the next day and keep trying. Eventually something will come, sometimes it just takes some practice listening in.
• Next, take some time to grab a calendar or print a few blank calendar pages that you can write in. Grab some colored markers or pens. Give yourself about 15 minutes for this. Write everything you currently do each week/month down on the calendar in one color. Be sure to get it all. For example; write down when you exercise, your work schedule, and meetings or volunteer events. Include driving kids to sports or making pies for the PTA or teaching yoga in the evening. Get it all down.
• From here take a moment to look over your calendar, grab a different colored marker and begin to draw a line through the tasks or events that you really don’t enjoy anymore or that bring you stress. Some of these may or may not be things that you can take off your list right away, that’s okay. Remember this is only a first draft. Next, circle the tasks or events that you could possibly let go of. And make some small changes where you can by eliminating those tasks that you have circled.

It’s okay to take your time with this process. For some, changing the calendar may take longer. Be patient with yourself, make small changes that you can stick to and make more changes when you can. Make sure you add some free time to your calendar a few times each week and don’t fill those free-time moments with appointments, use them to relax or play, or dance, or read or sit out in nature under a tree. Guard them with as much conviction as you do your work schedule or your doctor appointments, or anything else that is important to you. Your time must begin to become valuable. Keep listening to that inner voice and keep fine-tuning your work/play/life balance and eventually, you will get there. Be patient, loving and kind, you got this!