What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• Cate and Rachel discuss how to cultivate compassion as a way of dissolving perfectionism, and why this tool is important in developing the ability to sit with discomfort.
• Cate talks about the book Scaling Leadership and the difference between highly reactive leaders and highly creative leaders.
• Rachel explains how her desire shifted from large-scale impact to deeper, smaller-scale impact. 
• Cate explains why the desire to belong is an important facet to membership communities.

Links Mentioned in Episode:

• Rachel’s website
• Be a coach
• Have a conversation
• Discover more about Body Thrive 
• Yogahealer Live Experience in New York

Timestamps: 

• 0:46-3:01 – Cate’s Intro. 
• 3:02-5:52 –  Rachel explains how her desire shifted from large-scale impact to deeper, smaller-scale impact. Cate explains why the desire to belong is an important facet to membership communities.
• 5:52-8:55  – Cate talks about the book Scaling Leadership and the difference between highly reactive leaders and highly creative leaders.
• 10:16-12:55  – How do you know whether you have good people skills?
• 12:56-17:55  – How do you keep people around and supported without having to do it all yourself? Identifying and cultivating mentors.
• 21:31-24:23 – Cultivating compassion as a way of dissolving perfectionism. The ability to sit with discomfort. 
• 24:24-28:46  – Cate discusses the value of knowing your strengths and weaknesses when building a membership community.
• 28:48-32:30 – Cate explains how new members start to fit into a dynamic group.
• 32:30-37:07 – Cate and Rachel discuss how different personality types show up in a dynamic group.

Favorite Quotes:

• “If you have a sense of belonging and you show people how they can grow next and how they can lead . . now you’re scaling leadership.” — Cate Stillman
• “If you don’t build the infrastructure for [your course members] to step into [leadership], you’re never going to scale your leadership.” — Cate Stillman

Guest BIO:

Since 2001 Rachel has been supporting others through body, mind and heart-based yoga classes, trainings, mentoring and workshops. Her goal is to share how these practices have helped her shift into a more conscious, vibrant and easeful relationship to life and to support anyone who is ready to do the same. She’s been a serious practitioner and student of yoga from a young age and has thousands of hours of teacher training, immersions, workshops and retreats with phenomenal and inspiring teachers. In 2011 Rachel answered a deep calling and began her studies of Ayurveda with Cate Stillman at Yoga Healer. That same year, she began intensive studies with Paul Muller-Ortega of Blue Throat Yoga on the practice and theory of meditation and embraced a daily meditation practice that changed her life. These simultaneously launched her into a clear vision and daily approach of what she needed to do in order to thrive in the modern world. She now offers Ayurvedic Living immersions to help you to get light in your body, clear in your mind, and thrive in your life.

Knowing your self from the inside is self-care.  Can you think of three self-care practices that you do regularly? Looking at your list are they extrinsic, meaning does it require someone or something else (ie massage, pedicure, glass of wine)? What would it be like to take your self-care practices to the next level by learning intrinsic self-care?  Personally, before I can integrate a new practice I need to know where I am starting from, what my current behaviors and triggers are and why do I want to evolve them. For the holidays, acknowledging my comfort eating style was a good start.

I tend to be introverted and shy away from holiday gatherings.  When party tasks are delegated I am the one that signs up for cutlery.  This is my way of staying accountable and actually attending, as I know that the hostess and persons who brings a big bowl soup would be terribly annoyed with me if I did not show up with spoons.

Getting ready for a holiday affair, my old self would drink a few glasses of wine (liquid courage), then grab the Cutlery and head for the car.  I would take a deep breath and tell myself, everything will be okay. You only have to stay an hour. My senses would be overstimulated with holiday lights, sounds and smells.  My digestive system greeted by soda pop, Chex mix, and holiday themes of cheese, gluten and white sugar.

In large groups, I tend to accommodate.  Why? I want to socially fit in with the tribe.  To be accepted and liked. I would eat food I didn’t want to eat because I wanted to fit in, knowing that I would be rewarded with a distended belly in the morning.  I would smile and listen to conversations that really weren’t that interesting. I would experience a sleepless night due to the digestive mix and worry that I said the wrong thing. Late at night my inner voice spoke to me in a loud critical voice, rewinding the night’s events.

Know Your Comfort Eating Style

Ali Shapiro, MSOD, CHHS, holistic nutritionist and health coach and founder of True with Food explains binge eating through the lens of three comfort eating styles: the Accommodator, the Competitor and the Avoider.  I like the way she breaks the styles down because I easily identify with all three of them.

Everyone has experienced all three eating styles at one time or another.  Like the three doshas, we identify with the one style or dosha that is the most dominant.  For the Ayurveda perspective, I turn to Brodie Welch, health coach and self-care strategist. She describes the Accommodator as Kapha, the Competitor as Pitta and the Avoider as Vatta.

Kapha:  The Accommodator:  Do you eat to please others and/or keep the peace?  If yes, you are an Accommoder. Scenario:  You are at a family gathering.  Aunt Clara proudly displays the holiday table and feast she has been preparing for days for you and others.  When you take a small portion of each dish you are greeted with: “You eat like a bird. What is the matter with you?  Eat more I prepared this for you!”  What do you say to yourself and then Aunt Clara?

Pitta: The Competitor:  Are you a competitive eater?  Do your eating patterns fluctuate between strict and binging? If yes, you are a Competitor.  Scenario: At the work party you are feeling super fit and toned in your new slinky little black dress.  The strict diet and workouts have paid off! You are enjoying holiday toasts when suddenly, the topics turn political.  You feel yourself becoming angry as you do not agree on the political nature or tone. Listening to the supportive cheers you feel more and more disenchanted with the evening.  You walk to the wine table to refill your wine glass and are greeted by mouth-watering cheeses, salty crackers and delectable chocolates. Does the voice it your head say, awe screw it and you start binge eating?

Vatta:  The Avoider:  Do you eat absentmindedly on the run?  Are you hungry after you eat because you did not chew, smell or taste the textures of your food? If yes, you are an avoider.  Scenario: You made it to the party and you suddenly realize how tired you are.  You find yourself in the kitchen next to the holiday Chex mix. As you unconsciously put you hand in the bowl and begin eating, you review your day and check off the boxes, suddenly realizing that you have not eaten all day.  You look down at the bowl and the Chex mix is all gone. What is the voice in your head saying after you ate all the Chex mix?

Developing a Relationship with the Voice in Your Head

Working with the voice in my head, my inner critic, is a daily practice.  I have learned strategies and some of the best are from Acharya Shunya. She is a master and spiritual teacher of Vedic Yoga and Ayurveda.  From Vedic Philosophy there are 4 guidelines when speaking to yourself or others.

1. Do no harm (nonviolent communication)
2. Speak your truth
3. Speak in a pleasant tone
4. Rein in your ego.  Is what you are about to say contributing to the conversation?

Using the 4 guidelines of Vedic communication as a base, you can decrease the anxiety and tension which can arise during conversation while speaking your truth in a kind and caring way. We can all begin with acknowledgment.  Hosting a party and food preparation takes time. Many men and women work full time, juggle household duties and have responsibilities caring for children or aging parents. They may also have financial or medical struggles we don’t know about.

Kapha:  What do you say to yourself and then Aunt Clara?  Take a breath and get centered. Begin with acknowledging her for her efforts and complimenting her on the savory food.  You can tell her that you are taking smaller portions because you know that each dish was prepared with love. You want to take the time to enjoy the smell, texture, and taste which will fill you up faster.

Pitta: Does the voice in your head say, “Awe screw it” and you start binge eating? When alcohol is flowing people tend to become ungrounded.  Everyone has their own opinion which is based on their perspective to life.  What would it be like to be curious and ask questions with no judgement?

Vata:  What is the voice in your head saying after you ate all the Chex mix?  What would it be like to say in a  gentle, kind voice, “Opps! Hummm, I can’t undo that and I am still hungry.  I think I will sit down, slow down, and breathe. I will nourish my body with some warm vegetable soup.”

Holiday Action Plan: I want you to have a healthy and nourishing holiday season.  Now that your clear on the three styles of eating, grab a piece of paper and brainstorm on how you will change your patterns. Tell me below in the comments.   

References:
http://brodiewelch.com/how-we-eat-is-how-we-live-unapologetic-feminist-self-care/
https://alishapiro.com/about-ali-shapiro/
https://yogahealer.com/?s=acharya+shunya
https://www.acharyashunya.com/

*Special thank you to Elise, Kari and Alec for your encouragement on writing this blog.

When I was in my twenties I was super “emo”. You know, fully identified with my emotional self. Pre-yoga, pre-meditation, there was no space between my emotional body and myself. I was one gigantic expression of hormone shifts. Oy. As this younger version of myself, whenever I would be heartbroken by the dissatisfaction or pain of life, I would end up wandering the aisles of a bookstore (remember those?) desperately hoping that the book to solve all my problems would call me over. And it would!  I’d find just the right title that spoke directly to my wounds. Skimming the back cover, I found that the author understood me in a way that resonated so deeply I’d sigh, “yessssss”! I trusted that this new way of looking at my problem would dissolve the suffering and confusion as soon as I could get through the chapters. It would be great! I’d be empowered with cutting edge insights and liberated from the bonds of my ignorance. This time I’d really see some results!

Shift from individual growth work to group growth

And maybe this was true. Maybe there was a levity simply in the hope of new perspectives and my life did shift ever so slightly towards a happier existence. But when the inspiration of those books wore off, I was left with the same old habits. I would lose motivation, “forget” to do the thing the book taught, or maybe feel just good enough to skip the last couple chapters and label myself “healed” – proclaiming that, “Everyone should read this book! It’s so amazing!”

Of course, it was amazing. In no small part because it was not the way that I think. But what if I could get more than just the latest idea packaged between two well-edited book covers? What if I could get more than just the one perspective? What if I could add a multitude of insightful perspectives, a person to hold me accountable, a coach to highlight my blind spots and a philosophy towards growth that weeds out self-sabotage, resistance, and all the other ways we disqualify ourselves from the work? A program that didn’t last a few weeks or months, but over a year’s worth of attention? Long enough for my new habits, new way of thinking, newfound self-confidence, courage, vulnerability, you-name-it – to become automatic?

Jessica was about to find out “what if”. And I can tell you – what you gain from more minds and time on the job isn’t just connection – it is deep transformation. You can experience this too.

What we know from habit change science is that for lasting change to take root, we need to change who we think we are. We have to start believing different things about ourselves. If you have always thought of yourself as a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” kind of person —  someone who values independence over collaboration — I invite you to explore something different. That kind of isolation can hinder our growth and prevent us from taking big leaps forward that happen easier with the help of a supportive community. It might have worked well for our parents and grandparents to be rugged individuals, but with a little investigation, you might be able to see the pitfalls of “going it alone”.

Join the group, sign up for the course, get the coach. Your way of thinking got you this far, a new way of thinking could take you all the way.

And how often have you actually followed through on making that change? Did that effort last?

Or did you fall short of your goal and feel like giving up?

If you are anything like me you might be able to relate. I have had all kinds of moments when I decided that it was time for a shift….Times where I passionately embarked on a new routine or habit (usually on my own). And set out on my new adventure like it was the next big thing in my life only to find the momentum waning after a few short weeks.  Eventually, I slid back into my old routines. A few months later, I would be in the same boat — wanting to change a habit but lacking the of motivation or follow-through. How frustrating.

Stick-to-it-ness is a tough skill. Especially if we work on things on our own.

Enter the Power of the Group! Your Tribe. A supportive group of peers. Those who are working toward the same or similar goals as you are.  

Have you ever heard the cheesy saying, “Team work makes the Dream work”? Well turns out it’s true! When we work on the same or similar goals with others we are more likely to achieve that goal AND we achieve what we want faster than if we had plugged away at the goal on our own.

Let’s face it reaching goals and changing new habits can be hard work. It takes effort and intention to get there. However, we increase our odds of achieving those goals when we feel accountable to others. When we make a commitment and state our goals and desires out loud to a friend or group of like-minded individuals we feel more accountable to those goals.

I experienced this first hand working with my Yoga Health Coaching program members.

I noticed that over the summer months my group members were not as consistent with keeping up with their goals. Or during times when they did not feel accountable to the group – holidays, over the summer months, Christmas or Spring breaks. There was a direct relationship between their group attendance and participation and their results.

Thank goodness for our Peeps

Now I’m not saying that it’s a totally bad thing. In fact, sometimes noticing how indulgent we can behave when left to our own devices is actually a good reminder that we need support. It shows us how easily we can fall off the wagon when we aren’t feeling accountable. When we come back to those support systems – our Tribe – we are more likely to appreciate them. Thank goodness for our Peeps! They can remind us of our deeper desire for positive change. They can help keep us remain accountable and focused on our goals. They remind us of who we are becoming.

Some of you may want to be part of a group, but can’t seem to find one. Perhaps you live in a small town (as I do) with a tiny population. Or the opposite – you could feel overwhelmed by too many people in a large city. Or maybe you are not a social person at all and prefer the comfort of your own space. Whatever your reasons for feeling as though you can’t connect with a group, you can find ways around this.

If you want to meet in-person, look for groups around your neighborhood. Check your local library, municipal office, or bulletin board for postings. There may be local programs in your area. Reach out to them. Plan to meet up and ask some questions to see if they have a group that is a good fit for you. Or write up an ad and create your own support group.

If in-person is not your thang, look for an online group that fits your desires. There are numerous platforms available. You can search social media forums (like Facebook). With some careful weeding out you can find the right group for you.

Finding an accountability partner or a support team is one of those steps that takes working toward and achieving your goals to a whole new level. It’s an up-level in your strategies that can help make all the difference. Take your plan a step further and find a Yoga Health Coach who is trained to guide and educate you in the Daily Habits of Ayurveda & Yoga. A Health Coach helps you, and the group, make shifts in your daily health and wellness habits by offering tips and strategies that will accelerate your progress. They are there to support and guide you toward your goals. Being able to lean in for guidance, encouragement and support takes a lot of the pressure off.  It helps you to recognize that you are not alone. And brings in a fresh perspective.

Many reputable Yoga Health Coaches are now running online programs which offer safe and supportive group environments to help you meet your wellness goals. You can go here for a list of current certified Yoga Health Coaches who are available.

When it comes to reaching your goals why not follow proven strategies? Align yourself with a group for accountability and watch how you reach your targets more quickly.

Feel free to reach out and connect with me for a free wellness strategy. I would love to hear from you. You can place your comments below or connect with me through my website. I’d love to chat!

I searched for many years before finding the right yoga teacher. After trial and error, I found a great fit in the Anusara Yoga Community. Although John Friend, the founder, left in 2012, the Anusara School of Hatha Yoga continues to grow and thrive with 900 licensed well trained teachers still carrying on the amazing tradition of this yoga path all over the world.

This year as I celebrate my 27th anniversary of teaching yoga, I notice my teaching has shifted dramatically over the years. What I understood to be the gold standard for a successful yoga teacher in 1991 is radically different from how I see it now.

I was a former power yoga vinyasa teacher, who taught a very athletic form of hatha yoga in NYC gyms in the early 90’s. My teaching felt like an extension of my former career as an aerobics instructor. Students wanted a sweaty strong class, yet the class had no contemplation, meditation or opportunity to go inside. My classes had an external focus because I wasn’t meditating yet, hadn’t studied yoga philosophy or met my main teacher. My interest was in creating an atmosphere with movement, music and a lightness of spirit. I had not yet learned the value of deep inner work of self inquiry.

Each Class Takes us on a Journey

 Now life is so different. I have been invited to teach and train Anusara yoga teachers internationally in NYC, China, Europe, Mexico, Costa Rica and Japan.  The yoga sages say that when you go inside, you discover life’s true purpose, or Swadharma. This inner work and exploration taught in Anusara Yoga has added a new dimension to my instruction and a depth to my classes. I always bring my self -inquiry into the classroom. I teach what I need to learn that day. Now each class I teach is a journey within to discover why we are here.

Stay in Alignment

Anusara yoga teachers help us focus on healthy inner and outer alignment. We align our intention and the physical body. There is an emphasis on experiencing a pulsation between engaging muscles and expanding energetically, that brings balance and ease into the pose. We are neither over or under efforting. The knowledge and application of good alignment and the weaving of yoga teachings throughout the class turns the experience of yoga from a fitness regime to an uplifting journey to your own sweet essential Self. This inner journey is transformative and life changing. I am beyond grateful for the amazing gift of Anusara Yoga to me and for my students all over the world.

It’s All Fun and Games Until the Chit hits the Fan!

When you connect to your very own wisdom body by realizing the purpose of yoga, you relax into life and let go of the struggle. The purpose of yoga according to the non-dual philosophy at the heart of Anusara yoga is to recognize your own infinite/divine nature.

(Chit)  By recognizing your own essence as a part of everything in the universe, you begin to understand that the totality of who you are includes the  dance and celebration ( Ananda) of both the dark and light aspects of life. There is a freedom in knowing everything is here to awaken us.

You may still experience great obstacles and challenges, yet even these no longer stop you in your tracks or derail your health and well being.  In fact you begin to cultivate an attitude of “bring it on!” Anusara Yoga seems to help people develop a way of meeting life’s challenges with humor and grace instead of dread and and fear. This inner work prepares you for life’s real challenges (health issues, illnesses, injuries, job loss, transitions, divorce, death..) A fun vinyasa class is a good sweaty workout but will not be of great support when the  @##$% hits the fan!

Look around to see what popular yoga teachers are doing these days. Do you notice many are power vinyasa yoga instructors? There is nothing wrong with this style of yoga, but it seems to appeal to the athlete/yogi who is not interested in going inside. It is possible to experience a flow practice and also to do the self inquiry work that leads to inner transformation. By aligning your intention, every class with your highest ideals,  Anusara yoga helps the student find their Swadharma (their true path).

There are stages of a yogi’s development. When a yoga student is new at the practice they tend to focus on the physical. The spiritual aspects seem intimidating, foreign, weird or affected. After practicing for a while the student begins to simmer and cook in the “Shakti” or energy of the practice and naturally starts to explore the more subtle realms like Pranayama, Chanting, meditation, karma yoga, or Seva (selfless service).  So wherever you are right now is perfect! I will never forget the friend who brought me to my first class. I hated the chanting but loved the way I felt in Savasana!! That was Bliss ( Ananda). And there were no drugs involved!! I couldn’t wait to get back and try it again!

Glass of Wine Yoga Has its Shortcomings

Yoga can easily turn into a palliative healing modality that makes you feel good till the next yoga class. That kind of yoga is like a nice glass of wine. It takes the edge off of a stressful day. I am interested in going much deeper. By incorporating the yoga teachings in classes we are able to take yoga off the mat and into our lives. The contemplation like for instance, Saucha, (purification of the body and mind and our environment) can result in your life becoming more efficient more organized. You will clear up misunderstandings in relationships, and clean up your diet.  All these shifts leads to more vibrant and clear energy.

Let me tell you about Lucy, a retired nurse in her early 70s who took my Anusara yoga class at World Yoga Center. Her IBS(Irritable Bowel Syndrome) ruled her life. She was exhausted, depressed, irritable and isolated. One of the ways I help people off the mat is through my Yoga Health Coaching course, The Body Evolves which Lucy signed up for. Lucy’s IBS went into remission after taking the course. I was thrilled at the way she transformed in the program. She changed the way she digests food. Not only that her personality changed, she became more positive and outgoing. She began to feel more uplifted and lighter. She was so grateful to have discovered this healing path.  She took small steps. She quit snacking between meals and ate her last meal of the day around 6:00 pm. This calmed down her digestive system allowing it to rest between meals. She ate miso soup for breakfast. Fermented food really helped her gut health.

Lucy now spends time in nature every day filled with gratitude for this life. I am so grateful I  doing a daily practice of Anusara yoga. I was able to guide her and I wonder, had I not evolved as a teacher, could I have helped Lucy get to where she is today?

Take Yoga off the Mat and Integrate Yoga Teachings into Your Life and Your Relationships.

Taking yoga off the mat and into every aspect of your life has been my passion since meeting my teacher, Cate Stillman. Cate is  an Ayurvedic practitioner and a trained Anusara Yoga Teacher. Her course, Body Thrive, based on the teachings of Ayurveda has given yoga a whole new perspective for me and many others. By seeing yoga on the mat as a place to focus your attention on what you want to create off the mat brings yoga into every aspect of your life. ( how you think, how you relate to other people in your life, how you feed yourself, how much rest you get, how you nourish your spirit )

An Example of Healing Off the Mat

An example of yoga off the mat happened when I injured my leg in September, 2016 in a horrible bike accident. I had to use the subtle practices of pranayama, meditation and chanting. I couldn’t do asana for 4 months while I was in the initial phases of my healing. I used the 10 habits I learned from Cate Stillman in her Body Thrive course to heal my body. I connected to my community who reached out with food, love and prayer. I was constantly cared for by body workers,students and friends. I put myself on the Dinacharya ( daily rhythm)  of regular meal times, bed times and waking times. Little by little my bones knitted back together and I recovered my ability to walk, ride my bike and do asana again. It was nothing short of a miracle. My yoga became my healing journey. Everything in my day was yoga. My meals, my bath, getting dressed, walking to the bathroom with my walker and brace. It was a living breathing mindfulness practice. I have never practiced so diligently without doing asana! I discovered that yoga off the mat was life changing for me and for everyone who showed up to do selfless service by cooking,  shopping, cleaning or helping me take a bath. It was an amazing way to see how to incorporate yoga into every aspect of your life.

By incorporating the teachings of Ayurveda and the yoga scriptures in yoga classes, workshops and teacher trainings, I and many yoga teacher/health coaches in Cate’s Community are able to train teachers and yoga students into bringing yoga into every aspect of their lives. This means how they relate with more compassion and sensitivity  to their own bodies and to others in their lives.

Many of us wait for the weekends or vacation to really enjoy and celebrate life. There is so much hidden potential in each of us lying dormant. Yoga that connects you to your essence empowers you to grow into your fullest potential and bring yoga even into your workplace as an opportunity to practice the teachings.

When teachers use groovy music, essential oils, fast paced vinyasa practice, serenade their students in savasana, they are providing entertainment for their students instead of an internal experience.  The dharma of teaching yoga is for the teacher to get out of the way and allow the practices of asana , meditation and pranayama to lead the students into an internal experience.

BTW There is nothing wrong with needing to escape stressful situations in your life  by taking a hot bath, a yoga class, a dance class, go for a run, see a movie that makes you LOL!!

What I am proposing is that the real juice of yoga is experienced through the deep self exploration, inner work that is done on the yoga mat and in meditation. You get to see your mind as  wonderful and interesting companion on your path. It is a part of who you are. Your mind can drive you crazy, can comfort you, can solve many problems, can create a symphony, a book a play, a ballet. It can also bring you into a deep dark place that feels like a prison.

Do the Inner Work

The inner work frees you from the prison of your own mind into the vast boundless presence at the core of your being. This inner state is called Ananda. It means Bliss!! There is nothing better than bliss.  Why settle for fun when you could have Bliss?

I became a health coach in Cate’s community 3 years ago leading my signature course, The Body Evolves, based on Cate’s course Body Thrive and have worked with over 60 people integrating the 10 healthy habits into my life and into the lives of my students. Miracles are happening.

Find an Anusara yoga class in your area by going to this link.

If you are looking for yoga teacher/health coach go to this link.