How I Learned to Take Responsibility as A Trainer

If a horse becomes dangerous, develops bad habits or misbehaves, it is 100% on the trainer. It’s never considered the horse’s fault. The human trainer must take full responsibility. If a trainer is reactive or mean to a horse, the horse has no idea what’s happening. The horse will respect you as a leader but not if you are an asshole.

    Yoga, coaching, and horses. How do these three things go together? Yoga provides balance, vital for equestrians. Yoga is the best and fastest way to achieve strength, balance and focus. Yoga teaches you how to breathe correctly. It provides simple meditations, and improves your health, wellness, ability to relax, and posture. Yoga can be very spiritual and I believe horses are extremely spiritual as well. There is even a pose named after the Horse. An intermediate standing pose that requires flexibility in the hips, horse pose can help you get on and off your horse safely.

    A couple of years ago, I signed up for a life changing course, Body Thrive with Cate Stillman. I took it to another level by signing up to be a coach, yet I realized I needed to do some work to reprogram myself and break my ancestral patterns. That same month I started the Yoga Health Coaching program, Groovy came back to live with us after living in a pasture with two other colts and learning how to be a horse.

Horse Coaching is a Bit LIke Human Coaching

It was time for Groovy to get saddled, learn how to carry a bit, and take a human down the trail. For the bit, I used a string in his mouth several times and pulled with leverage before I used metal with reins attached. For the saddle, I placed different items on his back with various textures, pads, blankets, tarps, and then the saddle. I did these steps with Kaizen. Small steps to make sure Groovy was comfortable and relaxed before I moved to bigger aspects of training. What amazed me about learning how to be a coach for others was that I could transfer those skills onto my horse and vice versa. I put my horse training skills into my human coaching skills. I sought 1% improvement. If he accepted little things, I praised him and always ended the day on a good note without pushing him too far. I let him know he was enough and by handling new things calmly and patiently, we were on the right track.

Groovy Had An Amazing Daily Routine

Fortunately, Groovy had his daily routine dialed in. His Ayurvedic habits were much stronger than mine. He lived in tune with nature’s rhythm. He relaxed and spent more time sleeping at night. He ate a 90% green diet. He took lots of time out to play with his friends and enjoy his day to day life. He exercised every single day and had a good deal of self preservation.

And did I mention I have two older horses, Finn and Hot Wheels? I never paid as much attention to their daily lifestyle, until I studied health and wellness coaching. I realized my horses had so much to teach me, especially my young colt, Groovy. He was being molded by me and I had a lot to learn as a coach. Patience was the biggest lesson my horses taught me. When I was working as an Occupational Therapist, I had been very patient with my clients. Somehow I wasn’t as patient with my horses.

Now I am the Coach

When I got my first horse, I didn’t really know how to interact with him. I grew up hopping on a horse and riding off into the sunset. Now I was the trainer, I needed some basic steps to follow from an experienced horse trainer. I turned to Pat Parelli. He is a people lover and knows how to work with humans AND teach them how to be “trainers” as well. He was a student and follower of Tom Dorrance and Ray Hunt. These two were the first true horsemen who started teaching horsemanship that was considered a more humane way to start a horse vs. the traditional way of “breaking” a horse. It is how the term “natural horsemanship” started.

Here are five tips for training horses by Pat. I have learned that the same lessons apply as a human coach to help my herd, I mean tribe achieve success.

1. Achieve success with patience not force.

This is all about the ask. I wiggle my finger at my horse to ask him to back up. It is a much better approach than using a whip. The level of “ask” happens in phases. My other two horses I bought already trained. They were trained too quickly, before they were ready and with force. With that traumatic experience in their memory, it took nearly a year before I could touch my first horse, Finn, around the ears without him flinching. Ear twisting is a common procedure for some people to get a horse to stand still. I’d rather be patient and slowly teach them so I can just ask.

As a human coach, I teach Kaizen, small continuous improvements. my prefered method. Be patient, be slow, and then ask without force. No one says you must do this or you must do that. We do say, however, that some habits are non negotiable if you want to reach your goals, but take your time. Don’t rush. I let them figure it out for themselves, and for some it takes a longer time than for others.

2. Seek partnership with your client, not dominance.

I most definitely do not want to dominate my horse. It is so much more enjoyable to let them believe, that what you are doing is their idea. Respect is what I’m looking for, and a must if you want to be safe. My

horse may not maneuver down a technical steep switchback trail as well as I liked, but he did it.

As a human coach, I prefer to be a guide and to lead my clients down the right path without overwhelm. This is when seeking a B- becomes huge, vs. an A+. Just try it without seeking perfection. Reward the try.

3. Achieve goals with trust and teamwork, not fear.

My baby horse has absolutely zero fear of me. He completely trusts me, which is one of the best feelings any horse owner could ever have. I have learned to be very receptive and open to his requests. Instead of reacting harshly, I pause, reflect, and then proceed. Slow and steady. Now my older horse loves it when I touch his ears. When Groovy watches how Finn crosses bridges, water, or any technical obstacles, he is more confident in seeing another horse he trusts being up to the task. He has his own herd just like humans have a tribe.

In health coaching, teamwork is huge. In studies, 70% of people in a group setting achieve more success, than those who go it alone. While my horse and I are a team of two, my clients are in a group setting making up a tribe. They can offer each other peer support and accountability to help them reach their habits without fear. Trust is huge!

4. Request new behavior, without intimidation

There is nothing better than asking your horse to do something for you with the smallest request. For example, instead of using spurs to push my horse forward, I can just smile with of my four cheeks, (2 on my face, and 2 on my bum), and think G-O. Or, instead of using a strong bit to make them stop, I can just lean back and say “whoa” softly.

As a human coach, I adapt to people’s needs. People participate when they are ready, if not, I recommend doing it again. We are talking about changing our lifestyle after all. Screaming and yelling, “JUST DO IT”, like my field hockey coach, would be a pointless waste of my time and energy. Again, I am more of a guide. I am there to provide information and encourage you more than anything.

5. Form alliances based on harmony and mutual respect instead of coercion

If I treat my horse like an intelligent being and a friend, there is no need for coercion. If we have harmony together, we will achieve success and we will be partners. This comes with lots of practice. Not repetition. The Arabian breed is not a fan of repetition but they will definitely practice with you. I have 3 Arabians, by the way. Riding down the trail is always a practice in seeking subtle improvements.

As a coach for humans, I practice with my students. I practice meditation. I practice self care. It is a lifestyle where we can seek automation with these simple habits that are game changers in the world of radiant longevity that Cate offers, and I also, being a Yoga Health Coach. We can seek harmony without forcing ourselves to do these habits with willpower, and soon it will dawn on us, that willpower is no longer even relevant. Walk the talk and you will have harmony in your everyday life and with your horse.

Next time you have challenges coaching a human client, be grateful you are not coaching a 1,000 pound beast. I love coaching horses and humans. Hopefully, you can learn from four legged friends when the opportunity arises. See what happens. Give it a try. Watch them closely and you will learn more than you can imagine. And thank you Pat Parelli for your five tips on training horses and…humans.

Happy Coaching.

Ever wondered why there is an upsurge in complicated diseases? Auto-immune problems, hormone imbalances and many other complications are on the rise despite recent medical advancements. There can be many reasons to diseases and disorders, but there is one clear and present danger. Plastic!

The Dangers of Plastic

Decades of using plastics have affected our health in a myriad of ways. According to a study published in the Environmental Health Perspectives, newborn infants have hundreds of chemicals in their blood. The contaminants include the plastic additive bisphenol A or BPA, which is known to mimic the hormone estrogen and cause developmental problems and precancerous growth in animals. Most plastic products release harmful chemicals that interfere with your hormones.

Why is plastic so dangerous?

Plastic is a man-made long chain polymer manufactured from petrochemicals or petrochemical by-products. The chemicals in plastics are known endocrine disruptors. They change hormone functions resulting in serious problems like infertility, obesity, and cancer.  

We use many different types of plastics.

Based on the resins used for their manufacture, plastics are typically divided into seven types.  

1.  PETE or PET – Polyethylene Terephthalate – Used for milk, water and soft drink bottles, food wrapping and packing, and kitchen storage containers.
2.  HDPE – High Density Polyethylene – Food and drink containers, detergent, shampoo, cleaners and bleach bottles, poly bags and garbage bags.
3.  PVC – Polyvinyl Chloride – Plumbing, flooring, electrical fittings and cables, interior décor, furniture, clothing, shoes and slipper soles, kitchen utensils and dinnerware, construction material, kids toys and games and many more.
4.  LDPE – Low Density Polyethylene – Mostly used in packaging of prepared food like frozen food, cheese, meats, bread etc.
5.  PP – Polypropylene – Packed foods, microwavable trays, upholstery and furnishing in the  home, office as well as your car.
6.  PS – Polystyrene – Insulation material used in building construction as well as fast food packaging, disposable cups, plates and cutlery, egg trays etc.
7.  Others – All others which are not included in the above list. Like polycarbonate which is widely used in bottling, food packing, home furnishing, construction material, automobiles, computer hardware, electronics, consumer goods, aircraft and many other industries.

How Plastic Destroys Your Body

The toxic chemicals used in the manufacture of plastic cause major diseases and dysfunction. The toxins stay in the body as the liver does not know how to break down the chemical constituents. Over a period of time, the toxins start mimicking the hormones in the body which leads to complications. Some of the related health issues can include:

• Autism
• Autoimmune conditions
• Obesity
• ADHD
• Prostate & breast cancer
• Premature breast development in young girls
• Infertility
• Pregnancy complications
• Birth defects

Research confirms that many potential health problems can be solved by simply avoiding plastics.

Avoiding Plastic to Reduce Personal and Planetary Exposure

While all this information may seem daunting, there are ways to avoid and reduce plastic use. Taking small steps can help reduce our planet’s plastic load as well as our personal exposure to plastic pollutants.

If you are wondering where to start, here are some key small steps we can all adopt:

1. Choose glassware and stainless steel for leftover food storage
2. Use cookware made from stainless steel, cast iron, earthenware or stoneware
3. Use cloth or reusable grocery bags
4. Avoid packaged foods that have a plastic wrap, instead make your own cloth, plant leaves or beeswax coverings
5. Shop local or organic farmers markets instead of buying pre-packaged fruits and vegetables from grocery stores
6. Recycle and re-use

Plastic affects your health as well as the health of our planet. Buying plastic products means saying ”yes” to pollution and health sabotage. Let’s stop the self-destruction by stopping our habit of buying plastics.

Are you ready to break up with plastic?

What suggestions do you have to help reduce and live a plastic-free lifestyle?

Share below!

References

Yang, C., Yaniger, S., et al. Most Plastic Products Release Estrogenic Chemicals: A Potential Health Problem that Can be Solved. Environmental Health Perspectives. July 2011. 119(7), 989-996.

The success of your trip depends on how you prepare and execute your trip. It takes advance planning to travel together with parents, grandparents, nieces, nephews, cousins, brothers, aunts and uncles.

It requires syncing up multiple calendars and getting everyone on the same page for your journey. And then when you arrive at your destination, everything could go so right or so wrong! Not everyone wants this type of family reunion but if you are all in, a multi-generational family trip can be a once in a lifetime event.

Last fall, I traveled to Italy with my parents, my adult brother, sister in law and my two nephews, ages 10 and 14. We traveled during American Thanksgiving. Our trip lasted about two weeks and was remarkable in many ways. We got to know each other, had adventures, learned many new things, and gained new appreciation of our family. There were pitfalls, moments of boredom, illness, exasperation and confusion, but all in all we worked through it and ended up having a blast.

Take Advantage of the Opportunity

As a Yoga Health Coach, as well as someone invested in intergenerational relationships, I want you to know that traveling with parents, grandparents, kids and teens will require work. I assure you it will be worth the effort and I am here to help you plan your trip. 

Technology, modern modes of transportation as well as a wealth of information make planning an intergenerational trip easier than ever before. As a student of Gerontology, I have learned that never before have so many older adults been alive on the planet. The opportunity to travel with two or three generations has never been as-as possible as it is today. I hope that my tips and tricks can help you to envision packing your bags and buying your tickets to enjoy a unique experience with multiple generations of family and extended family.

In advance of our family voyage, I wondered how things would go. We had so many different personalities and travel styles, not to mention the various generations that would be joining our tour. In Ayurveda and Yoga Health Coaching we learn to balance the elements of our own constitution. Traveling with multiple generations means lots of different elements of age and personality.

Balancing the Generational Doshas

In Ayurveda there are three distinct stages of life. All three stages would be present on our trip. The Kapha or earth stage of childhood was represented by my nephew Tucker, the fiery stage of life or Pitta which includes my teenage nephew Spencer and my sister in law, Joann. My brother, my parents and I are all over age 50 and would be considered in our wise years of Vata or air and ether.

All of these different stages of life have different needs and considerations. And then add to that mix that each one of us has our own personality blueprint and elemental makeup. Some of family members might be considered space cadets, forgetful, or running late. Other family members are slow, headstrong or determined to do their thing. How do you find balance with a diverse group?

Just as you balance your own constitution holistically, look to find balance in seeking what is missing or what will bring cohesion to the group.

All Aboard?

We started with a schedule.

My sister in law and I were informally nominated to come up with our plans. We were lucky to have the help of a travel company who helped us to book some tours with guides that catered to families and had experience helping us to explore Florence and Rome while not boring either the kids or the adults. We had a list of possible excursions and itineraries.

Wherever you are going whether it is wild nature or an historic destination, you can use guidebooks to come up with your own plan or use a professional tour or nature guide. The advantage of having someone outside your family as a guide will be that they will have a natural authority that hopefully all family members will defer to. If you can’t get a guide or want to spare the expense, allow a family member to take on the roll of tour guide or leader. Whoever you choose, they will need to use their pitta energy. Make sure whoever directs your family group is up for the task of getting everyone all aboard.

I’ve compiled the tips and tricks of for intergenerational travel and adventures. I hope this list will help you to plan for your next trip whether it is a foray into wild nature, a tour in a foreign country or an adventure in your own homeland. Below are some ideas for you to feel confident that you will have fun the moment you say the words, Bon Voyage!

5 Tips for Fun Intergenerational Travel

1. Balance Each Day.

Know that all family members have competing interests yet seek a fulfilling shared experience. Split time between focused, intentional activities and plenty of UNPLANNED TIME. If you ask people to come together, whether it is for a crafting activity, a tour of local museum, or a hike to a local river, understand the need to follow that structured time with very unstructured time. Some will want to shop, others will want to sit by the pool. Some will want to go scuba diving, rock climbing or play video games indoors. These days when families get together the range of interests can be infinite.

Try to give everyone the mornings off and then schedule afternoon activities. Or schedule morning activities followed by the afternoon free. This way family members arrive fresh and ready to spend quality time together. There will be less of a need to skip out on any of the important plans that you have made and maybe even paid for if you give your family free time. No one feels trapped when there is plenty of down time. When all travelers know they have a day off to do whatever the heck they want it, intentional activities so much easier to do.

2. Appeal to All Appetites.

Find family friendly tour guides or activities that will satisfy the appetites of all generations. When we were in Italy, we had a wonderful tour guide in Florence who came up with several winning ideas to occupy the kids and tweens on our tour. When we went to see the statue of the David. Carlo brought along a sketch pads for my 10 year old nephew and his older brother so they could do their own rendition of the iconic marble figure. While both of my nephews don’t consider themselves artists, Carlo gave them instructions for how to look at the sculpture and bring their own observations to pencil and paper. Amazingly, boredom was not an issue at that museum.

When we spent time in Tuscany my sister-in-law and nephews and me all took an Italian cooking class. There may be opportunities for breakout groups and enjoy certain particular activities such as cooking as a biking tour, a zip line adventure or taking in a local dance performance. Airbnb local experiences have an incredible selection of all kinds of mind boggling family and intergenerational activities, even if you don’t book a guide through Airbnb look at the offerings. Just looking at the options can expand your creativity in terms of what activities might be possible. You will find family or kid friendly will be tagged as such.

3. Make sure that everyone has food, water and snacks.

Keep all generations of travelers happy in the body, minds and spirit. is absolutely critical to the success of your adventures, especially if you are moving around in the world or in a foreign country. If you are at an all expense covered resort, this won’t be an issue. If you are on a budget and or in a foreign country or walking around a place you don’t know too well, be prepared.

If your 7 year old forgot to eat breakfast, he may not last through lunch on a long museum tour. If a grandparent goes on a long hike to a remote lake  becomes hot and becomes dehydrated things can go south for the whole group. When you are near chairs, have people sit. When you are near a bathroom, remind all generations to use the ‘loo,’ as they say in England.

You may want to put a person in charge of water, snacks, bathroom breaks and rest breaks daily. If you are on an outdoor adventure. Choose an adult for the daily checklist. At the start of your tour, adventure or hike, have that one adult can check in with group members, did everyone bring water, go to the bathroom, eat or bring a snack? Check, check and check.

Rotate the role of “camp counselor,” so no one family member gets labeled as a nag. Everyone shares the burden of remembering to take care of simple body needs that become a bigger deal with large groups moving in the world.

4. Meals can be a boon or a bust.

Chances are you’ll have at least one vegan and several serious carnivores. Make your own adjustments according to your trip. Does your grandma follow a Keto diet while your cousin prefers pasta at every meal? Check menus online in advance when possible and make compromises so everyone feels well fed and taken care of.

Some family members may like to eat an earlier, lighter, dinner while others prefer to dine late. In Italy some restaurants actually believe it or not did not open until 8PM. I ended up changing my own meal schedule on our trip. I skipped breakfast because if I eat a late dinner and then a big breakfast, I just don’t feel good. Even though we always had an amazing complimentary breakfast served at our hotels, I stayed away, drinking only water, tea and juice until noon. I ate only lunch and dinner only and it totally worked for that trip. I never remember being hungry and of course it was Italy.

5. Use Boredom Buffers Wisely.

With modern kids and teens you may need to help them out with special boredom buffers to help them make it through a long dinner, lunch or other long drawn out activities.

I remember my nephews getting really fed up at some of the long drawn out meals,  multi-course meals in Italy, I think it was a double whammy of the length of the meals and that we went out every single night. My brother and sister in law allowed them to bring along electronic devices or books to keep them entertained, but not all the time and every night. You may have to compromise some rules to get compliance on others. Make sure to speak your terms clearly on electronic gadgets, especially with teens.

All Aboard for Fun and Adventure

The multigenerational train is leaving the station, all will be aboard for fun and adventure when you create the structure and balance the elements in yourself and your family.

Sharing experiences with multiple generations has never been easier to accomplish and I hope you will choose to give it a GO! If you have already planned or gone on a similar trip, leave your comments below. I would love it if you would share your favorite family travel tips or mis-adventures so we can all learn and enjoy the amazing opportunity of traveling with young, old and in between.