I affectionately began to call it my “Five Friday Ritual.” Here were the instructions she gave me:

1. Go to a nearby river and sit on the river bank, offering various fruits, flowers, coins and honey to the Deva or Goddess of the river in exchange for guidance, wisdom and prosperity.
2. Wear something nice, something more elegant than my everyday attire. I was told to imagine that I was truly meeting with a Goddess and to wear something appropriate for such a sacred encounter.
3. She instructed me to be very present and to honor my highest vision of myself. I was to pray and give thanks for each item before offering it to the River. And then to pause between offerings, allowing for space.
4. Once the ritual was complete I was to sit and pay close attention watching for signs from nature that might show up as a message, a symbol, or “good omen” along the river bank.

Thank God It’s Friday!

I followed all of her instructions very carefully and carried out the steps each Friday for five consecutive weeks. I began to deeply look forward to Friday evenings when I would finish work, rush home to gather the supplies that I had lovingly chosen earlier in the week from the grocery store, and head to the river. The first week I wore some pretty earrings, a silk scarf and some lipstick with a flowing skirt. For the offerings, I had chosen a small bunch of grapes of which I offered five grapes one at a time to the river, along with 5 shiny bright coins, a small jar of honey and 5 daisy flowers that I had picked. I then lit an incense to let burn by the side of the river, watching the tendrils of incense smoke flowing with the air currents along the river’s edge. The second week I stepped it up a bit and wore some gold bangles, one of my favorite necklaces and bought a bag of apples and some more daisies. By week three I couldn’t wait to get to the river bank after work, and had been daydreaming all day about what I was going to wear, and how lovely it was going to feel to sit by the river.

TGIF For My River Dates

Each week I felt more excited about my ritual and brought higher quality offerings. By the end of the five weeks, I was wearing a beautiful kimono woven with golden threads and tossing gold pears, shiny dollar coins, organic honey, and store bought gerbera daisies to the river. I was sparing no expense! I had begun to love my weekly ritual so much that I was sad my five weeks had come to an end. I noticed that the experience of it all left me feeling empowered and beautiful. I felt as though I was a sacred Deva or Goddess myself. And the prayer and meditation had their effects on me too. I was more grounded and peaceful. I felt more creative and happy. And although I did actually get some powerful messages at that river’s edge, I realized that those messages weren’t even the best part of it all. What really became sacred for me was the ritual itself. It was the extra care I took to groom and prepare my appearance, and the thoughtful manner in which I selected the special items each week for my offerings, the time I gifted myself each week to go and do something special just for me! These were the gifts, this was the magical experience that I took away from it all…that I was worthy of such care, that I deserved the best, and that my time was sacred.

Through Ritual the Mundane Becomes Sacred

What if we began to see our daily Habits more like a sacred ritual? How would making habits sacred change the way we began, moved through and ended each day? That experience of following the “Five Friday Ritual” created in me a deep connection, and I often find myself craving to repeat it, and perhaps one day I will. What I have come to realize lately is that the Daily Habits we keep can also become like sacred rituals. As I shift deeper into the Body Thrive Habits, repeating them over and over in the past year, I really allowed them to sink in. I realized that I can bring that same level of magic and sacred nurturing into each day. Now as I drink my warm water in the morning I can view it as offering honey to my inner goddess. My daily oil massage becomes a way to honor the divine through my own hands. My meditation can be an offering prayer and gratitude to the river. My breath body practices can be like a dance to connect inward, and each choice to nurture becomes a sacred ritual in honor of my purpose, my Dharma, each step a moment to pause and choose my own divinity.

Self Massage For Your Inner Goddess

Here’s my tip on how to bring the sacred into your own daily habits, through the practice of Self Massage. Before beginning your daily self massage routine, pause, taking a few conscious breaths and set intentions for your Abhyanga practice. Close your eyes and allow your imagination to play with what you want. Ask yourself how would your skin and body be treated if you were a goddess? And follow your thoughts into how that might look or feel. Perhaps your skin would be lovingly massaged with warm deliciously scented oils, maybe you would be in a luxurious room with decadent lush towels and beautiful flowers. Perhaps there would be soft angelic music drifting through the room and a feeling of deep belonging and worthiness. A sense of sweetness surrounding you. Allow the images and feelings that come to you to vibrate deeply within you and then loving begin to touch and rub and massage your own being as though you are also that incredible Goddess too.

Use These Tips for All of the Daily Habits

Take my approach into all of the Daily Habits and make them sacred. Use your imagination and have fun with it. Connecting to something bigger can truly enhance your experience of the habits and strongly bring in the deep care and nurturing that you as a human Deva or Goddess deserve naturally.

The amazing powers of Abhyanga

I sat on the edge of my bed, massaged my feet with sesame oil, and slid on those socks. Then I laid down, and sleep found me quickly. The next morning, my experience of the world was completely different than it had been in months. All of the dreaded fear and anxiety had disappeared and, in their place, were those yummy feelings of creativity, comfort, and support.

You see, this whole summer was a whirlwind for me, as it is for many. Tis’ the season. I’m a pitta, meaning my body/mind are mainly composed of the fire element, and that extra summer sun stimulates and supports my natural drive to act and accomplish in the world. Internal or external heat constantly fuels me to do more, be better, and push my limits until all of a sudden I burn out physically, mentally, and spiritually.

And this is exactly what happened to me the other day. At noon in full sun, the first fall gust brushed past my skin and whispered to my biological rhythms that fall was on its way. First came the relief — we will soon be released from the intensely hot bondage of high summer. I thanked the Gods of the coming Vata season. But my gratitude didn’t last long before the fear set in: that deep seated anxiety arising from exhaustion that I had been pushing down inside for months, refusing to face, so that I could finish up this project, start that next endeavor, or socialize with a new group of people.

Finally it all burst free, like a broken damn contained within the limits of my body, and just as quickly my muscles tensed in stress while my mind began to race frantically, and everything around me suddenly felt threatening to my system.

I had experienced this before – the whirling of autumn that stirs up anxiety from somewhere deep inside.  But this was the first time I had experienced it with the knowledge of Ayurveda embedded in me. I found a comforting sensibility to it all. Even more, I knew what to do. I knew to get out those socks, smother my feet with oil, and rest deep…real deep. Even though I had practiced abhyanga on and off for the past year, this time felt different.

This time my body responded, like a dry limp plant finally receiving a good gulp of water, to the nourishment of oil that it had been missing for months. The ease, the comfort, fluidity and protection that I felt the next morning inspired me to write this post, to share the amazing powers of abhyanga and, more specifically, how to use it to cool down your body and mind from that summer fire (and possible burnout), while preparing and protecting against the physical and psychological pitfalls that can sweep in on the autumn gusts. A good abhyanga practice, started now, will allow you to support yourself to make sure that you have a healthy, wholesome, cozy, and creative fall season.

The Elements and the Seasons

First off, it is useful to view the current season from an elemental perspective to best know how to harmonize your internal environment with your external environment. According to Ayurveda, the elements – ether, air, fire, water, and earth – exist in everything in nature. Within every season, particular elements dominate. The sun (fire element) brings the summer, and with the sun, comes the heat. The heat builds the thunderheads that cycle the water ‘round the Earth. This can be referred to as high pitta season – major fire with a little water. High heat and moisture. By the end of the summer, the long durations of heat eventually dries everything out. End result: crispy brown grass, shriveled flowers, and dried up streambeds. At this time the Westward winds begin to bring in the cool crispness of fall, adding to the dryness of late summer. This season is saturated with the elements of air and ether. Currently we are in that in-between state —  dried out from summer with further drying on the way. And though we still sit with the heat of the summer, we know deep in our bones that the cold is on its way.

Our bodies undergo the same process. With more sunlight around us, we feel more energized, which possibly leads us to working harder and playing harder and going on picnics and gardening and doing yard work and hiking and having dinner parties. If you feel exhausted from summer, you’re not alone. It feels so lovely to expend all of that excess energy that it’s easy to overextend oneself. And if you have, you’ll be feeling it right about now…

As we leave pitta season in late summer, we are easing right into vata season. From high fire present in the atmosphere to more air and eventually more ether. In healthy proportions, the elements of vata – air and ether – can create the light clean spaciousness needed for creativity, inspiration and even spiritual insight. But if you begin to take on too many of these qualities, symptoms like dry skin, cold emotions, fear, worry, and anxiety can arise. Therefore, no matter your constitution, if your body is burnt up and dried out from summer, you will be at a greater risk of developing vata imbalances on top of your pitta imbalances, leading to unnecessary dis-ease.

Cooling the fires of pitta

Does this resonate? If so, now is definitely the time to get to the root of your imbalance so as to protect against more extreme imbalances this coming fall. Since the root of the issue is too much heat leading to a lack of moisture you will want to bring in cooling substances with a moistening nature. Even if you’re not experiencing any imbalances now, the cool and moist qualities, in moderate amounts, will be beneficial from a seasonal standpoint.

There are many practices that you can cultivate to bring more moisture and coolness into your life. One of the most potent and simple practices is called abhyanga or self-massage. Abhyanga is usually done by applying oil to the body with different techniques as to what oil to use and how to apply it.

Regular practice keeps the muscles and joints of the body fluid, stimulates circulation and improves the functioning of the immune system. Self massage also increases energy, creates lustrous skin, regulates the digestive system, removes toxins from the body, calms the nervous system, and stabilizes the mind. Its side effects include becoming more intimate with your own skin and becoming deeply aware of how your body’s doing. Therefore, it’s important to cultivate a space of self-compassion for yourself, especially if you’re new to all of this. It may be a little (or a lot) uncomfortable at first. Perhaps it may feel like a greedy indulgence that you don’t deserve. Or you may experience resistance to feeling into your body and becoming more deeply aware of possible imbalances. I’ve been there…but I can attest that it’s worth it. Just overnight the effects on psychological well-being can be incredible. And within just a few days abhyanga affects physical well-being in subtle yet powerful ways.

Fall in Love with Abhyanga

In an ideal world, you awaken slowly and take your well-deserved, sweet time to love up your body, applying the perfect oil infused with the exact herbs your body needs. Next, you practice asana in a candle-filled room filled, connecting your mind to your body through your breath. Finally, you sit in a steam room to allow the oils to absorb even deeper into your skin while washing off any excess oils. In reality, your daily life may be more hectic. You awake after pressing snooze a couple of times, with 20 minutes to put on oil, do a couple of yoga postures, and take a quick shower before heading off to work. Honestly, it’s all good.  What’s important is to try out a few of these practices, plant seeds for some good healthy habits, and see what grows.  Here are some quick tips to start a short and sweet yet extremely powerful personal abhyanga practice just in time for high vata season.

Time Tips

• Synchronize abhyanga with your shower, whether in the morning or evening.
• If that’s morning for you, you can to wake up and drink warm to room temperature water while applying oil to your body.  Afterwards, the 20-30 minutes that it takes for the oil to absorb into your body is a great time for an energizing movement practice – whether it’s yoga, tai chi, or a sunrise walk. This time of year, something not so intense is perfect.  Afterwards, a shower will wash away any excess oil.
• If you bathe in the evenings, I like to make a cup of tea, turn on the bath, and play calming music while I oil up. Then I go straight to the bathtub to let my mind unwind from the day, while the warm water enhances the body’s ability to absorb the oil. If you feel extra heated physically or mentally from the day, make the bath room temperature.
• Not much time at all? No problem! Take 30 seconds to rub oil on your feet and slip some socks on right before your head hits the pillow.

Different Doshas, Different Techniques

For Vatas

• Use sesame or almond oil as a base
• Add a couple drops of sandalwood or cinnamon essential oil to the base oil
• Use large amounts of oil
• Start at the head and work down towards the feet
• Rub vigorously to create extra heat

For Pittas

• Use coconut or sunflower oil as a base
• Add a couple drops of rose or sandalwood essential oil to the base oil
• Use medium amounts of oil
• Start at the head and work down towards the feet
• Use longer strokes which are cooling and calming in nature

For Kaphas

• Use safflower or mustard oil
• Add a couple drops of cinnamon or patchouli essential oil to the base oil
• Use small amounts of oil
• Start at feet the and work up towards the head
• Rub vigorously to create extra heat

Note: If you’re dealing with a combination of doshas, feel free to mix oils. For example, if you had a pitta/vata imbalance or wanted an oil best suited for the current late summer season, mixing ½ coconut oil with ½ sesame oil with a couple drops of cinnamon and rose would be a great choice.

Applying oil to the body is a potent practice that can take as little or as much time as you need. The more mindful you are in your abhyanga, the greater the benefit. That said, even after long days when your time is really limited, a quick abhyanga practice could create an entirely different experience this fall for you. Happy oiling!

Self-Love isn’t cheesy or egotistical. It’s honest, heartfelt acceptance of who you are. While it can be challenging, you’ve got it in you. Seriously!

Embracing a Lifestyle of Self-Love has given me the:

• Fearlessness to pursue my dreams
• Ability to ask for what I want and get it
• Belief that I have unique, desirable and powerful gifts to offer the world

I practice self-love with self-massage, aka Abhyanga.

In Sanskrit, abhyanga means self massage with warm oil. Snehana is the sanskrit word for oil but it also translates to love.

When we touch our skin, we have the opportunity to practice ahimsa, non-harming. More so, we have the choice to face ourselves fully, to practice acceptance, to embrace our beauty and our mess; we have a choice to love.

Injesting Through the Skin

If you’re a daily lotion go-get-’er, with seldom self-touch henceforth,  then you may feel quite hesitant. I hear ya sister! I used to oggle over the perfumey body lotions, too. Until I understood that my skin, like my gut, takes into my body, my bloodstream, everything I put on it! If you want to investigate how your go-to products hold up to being hazard-free for your body, search the EWG Cosmetics Database to get the real scoop!

The Intention

Before massaging, know that it’s ok to start where you are, even if where you are is just an intention to practice.

If your intention is rooted in love you’ll approach your practice of oil-massage mindfully aware of your own tenderness. You’ll be open to being compassionate with what you feel when you place your own hand on your arm, foot, head or belly. You’ll carry out the action of self-massage with kindness, gentleness, and in full acceptance of whatever experience you have, even if you slip into rushing, or get agitated or bored, and skip out early.

If even considering self-massage seems like a huge deal for you, you’re surprised you’ve read this far, or you have had some trying experiences with touch that leave you nervous, confused or longing, know that you are in good, courageous company. This practice is meant to cultivate safety, ease, nourishment, and enable us to embrace the the truth: that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, perfect, whole and beautiful creations. We are all equally valuable and beautiful in our uniqueness– yes, you are, too!

Love Through Your Hands

During Abhyanga, our personal laying on of hands, like a prayer of gratitude for who we are, affirms our belief of this truth, and frees us to love ourselves more fully, which, my friends, opens up a world of opportunities that will astound you!

If your hesitation is anxiety provoking, take your time. You may read about abhyanga many times before you practice it fully. You may practice on just one hand for months before exploring other parts of your body. Begin where you are, as you are.  Your sisterhood of courageous self-lovers is alongside you.

Ok, so here we go, let’s get our self-love on.

How To Practice Self-Love with Self Massage

Abhyanga Oil Massage

Quick & Easy On The Daily:

1. Choose A Time. Before or after you bath? After you rise or before bed?
2. Warm Your Oil. Store it in a glass or BPA-free plastic container. Place container in bowl of hot water for about 5 minutes to warm before your massage.
3. Apply As A Moisturizer. Cover your body evenly.
4. Massage One Body Part, 1 Minute. You might start with your head, ears, hands, low back or feet.
5. Clean up excess oil. Send dish soap down your drain if necessary, use designated towel* to make skin clothing-ready if not showering after. Choose a towel that you’ll keep just for this practice and never put in the dryer to avoid dryer fires!
6. Observe the impacts. Check in with yourself at the end of the day or beginning of the next day. What’s different from the day before? How was your sleep? Your emotional state?)

Dive Deeper
Once or twice weekly make a date to go deeper with your self love practice.  Here are the steps to take this self love with self massage practice even further:

1. Believe You Deserve Love. Pause to affirm why self-love matters to you. Write an affirmation you will see regularly. Something like, “I love the skin I’m in,” or “I’m cultivating a practice of self-loving awareness.” & post it on your bathroom mirror.
2. Be Accountable. Put it in your calendar or tell a friend or loved one your plan.
3. Beautify Your Space. Clean away the clutter, light a candle, warm the room and your oil, and lay out your towel beneath where you will sit for your massage, in order to catch excess oil. (Traditionally, Abhyanga is practiced before heating the body in the shower or sauna to open the pores and let the oil seep in. What’s most important is that you’re warm enough before, after or during your massage for the oil to be absorbed. I find it especially nice in the winter to apply oil after I shower and leave the thin layer on all day. It’s like a little blanket of love.
4. Acquire the appropriate oils. I recommend sesame in the winter, or if your skin tends to be dry and rough. For warmer bodies or slightly oily skin, choose coconut. If you’re oil averse, simply use your bare hands. No matter what choose high quality organic oils. Remember, your skin has to digest them!
5. Apply Love. Use long strokes on your long bones, circular motions on your joints.
   •  When in doubt or anxious, start with the crown of your head, and slowly move toward your feet, letting your breath and body guide you.
   • When sluggish, unmotivated, or in the morning, move from toe to head.
   • During a cleanse, start with your appendages and move toward your navel and downward in the direction of elimination.
6. Bask In Your Love Be still and observe the impacts of your self-massage. Notice throughout the day how loving yourself impacts your interactions with others, the way you order your day, the words you speak in jest, how others look to you, and how you’re attachment to what other’s think, shifts. Accept your experience as true to this moment, whether it was wonderful or challenging, or both.

Self Massage Warning

If you encounter resistance, start with an accessible body part, like your fingers. Let the practice of loving all of you take as long as it needs. We have resistance for different reasons. If there is pain in your past that arise, be gentle. Perhaps you simply sit and enjoy the warm room and deep breathing the first few times you practice.

Let the practice be about cultivating beauty, connection, and appreciation for your body, mind, and spirit.

Read through these tips to uplevel your practice.

For a successful self-loving self-massage endeavor, remember to set an intention of love, pay attention while you practice being kind to yourself, and let the process unfold in it’s own time.

May you leave your cozy bathroom, singing:

“I’ve got nothing, nothing, but love for you, honey. I’ve got nothing, nothing, but love…” —May Erlewine

And perhaps, like me, love for yourself will shock you, and call you into your life’s work of living it.

Enjoy the experience!