What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• How to generate positive stressors and avoid negative stressors.
• How to clarify your ambition.
• How to achieve your ambition while avoiding negative stressors.

Links Mentioned in Episode:

• Have a Career Conversation with one of our Coaches!
• Yogahealer Podcast
• Order Cate Stillman’s new book “Master of You”

Show Highlights:

• Cate leads you through an exercise to help you clarify your ambition.
• Cate explains the 80/20 rule in yogic and Ayurvedic terms.

Timestamps: 

• 0:25-3:00 – Intro – What are positive stressors and negative stressors?
• 3:00-6:55 – Exercise – Get present with your ambition.
• 6:55-11:30 – What’s the easier way to achieve your ambition?
• 13:46-17:39 – Does your business model funnel your ambition while avoiding negative stressors?
• 17:39-20:44 – The 80/20 rule and how to avoid shiny object syndrome.
• 20:44-22:52 – How to efficiently and effectively use social media.
• 22:52-26:15 – How Yoga Health Coaching gives you the skills you need to achieve your ambition.

Favorite Quotes:

• “If 80% of your time is not generating 80% of your results, it’s not working.”  — Cate Stillman
• “When you care so much about the people that you want to guide on a deeper healing journey, that you want to guide on deep transformational life awakening, when you care so much about that, you’re willing to examine your self . . . you’re willing to self-reflect; you’re will to study and say, ‘Okay, in looking back, what I see is this 80% of how I spend my time – can’t keep doing that. This 20% of what I did – that had impact. I gotta dial that up.’” — Cate Stillman
• “Trust your desire. Trust your desire to make a great living, to have a lucrative lifestyle. Trust your desire to really help people at the level that other people have helped you on your healing journey as a wellness pro. Trust in that.” — Cate Stillman

What is Urinary Incontinence?

Simply put, urinary incontinence is the loss of bladder control.  This can affect many aspects of your life. When it happened to me, at first I didn’t nowhere to turn. Urinary incontinence is not a typical topic of conversation among friends. It was frankly a bit embarrassing. Luckily I am part of the Yoga Healer tribe, where wecan engage in conversations regarding our health with women and men of all ages.

“A quarter to a third of men and women in the U.S. suffer from urinary incontinence.  That means millions of Americans. Studies show that many things increase risk. For example, aging, pregnancy, delivery and menopause increase the risk factors in women. “

-The Urology Care Foundation

How does it happen?

Brain, Bladder and Pelvic Floor Connections

Your brain and the bladder control urinary function.  The bladder stores urine until you are ready to empty. I am going to jump ahead (stay with me) and explain the muscle connection to your pelvic floor.  Believe it or not, you have 3 layers of pelvic floor muscles. The first layer is the most superficial and is home to the sphincter muscles.  Layer two is often referred to as the urogenital diaphragm. Layer one and two work together and intersect at the perineum. The third layer is the most internal and supports your viscera and internal organs (rectum, uterus and bladder).  These organs, rectum, uterus and bladder, are shapeshifters. They fill, empty and move in response to gravity and the position of your pelvis. Layer three is referred to as the pelvic diaphragm. Back to the bladder. When the bladder holds urine the sphincter muscles contract around the urethra.  When the sphincter muscles keep the urethra closed, you don’t leak. When you are ready to pee, the brain gives the bladder the go ahead and the sphincter muscles (layer 1 & 2) open. There are different types of incontinence. We will look at stress and urge.

Stress incontinence is when weak pelvic floor muscles let urine escape.  Leaking can happen with exercise, lifting, sneezing, jumping or coughing.  Any activity that puts pressure on the pelvic floor. Many time you are unaware until it just happens.

Urge incontinence is when your brain tells your bladder “hey buddy, time to go” even if your bladder is not full.  Just walking by a bathroom, your brain may say, “you should try” even if you don’t have the sensation.  The result is more brain-bladder-nuero connections that fire throughout the day with minimal urination.

How do I fix it?  You might be told to being with kegels.  It that doesn’t work your practitioner might recommend surgery — without educating you to fully exploring all options.

What is a Kegel?

I remember the instructions I was given.  “Just tighten it up down there like you are stopping the flow of urine.”  That’s it. No discussion or even practice to determine if I was even doing it right. I am sure the first time I engaged my pelvic floor I also gripped everything around it, held by breath and tightened my jaw.  I am sure that visual would have Dr. Kegel cringing. Yes Virginia, there really is a Dr. Kegel.  Dr. Arnold Kegel was born in 1894. He was the first American gynecologist to research exercise and strengthening of women’s pelvic floor muscles.  Dr. Kegel invented the perineometer to measure contraction strength. Today it is rare that a doctor will take the time with you that Dr. Kegel did. That is why it is important to be educated in order to be an advocate for your mom, sister, daughter or yourself.

Take Note of your Pelvic History:

When I sat down and wrote down my history – 2 pregnancies, episiotomy, 3 miscarriages and 2 D & C’s – it became real.  I was able to see where there could be muscle imbalance in my pelvic floor as after any surgery or event to an area, the muscles and tissue are healing.  Pelvic muscle imbalance can occur after the baby also. Many women carry their baby on one hip, which causes the muscles on that side of the pelvis to shorten to stabilize the baby.  This will affect their standing posture as more weight is on one leg. This, in turn, enables the pelvic organs to shift to one side, putting more pressure on each other, and the pelvic floor. From speaking with other women, it seems my story is fairly common.  I know that many women have a much more extensive histories which includes surgeries (Hysterectomy, C-Section, Leep Procedure, Uterine Fibroid Surgery and Ectopic Pregnancy), infections (UTIs, endometriosis and Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) and pelvic pain (pelvic fractures, IUD, and #Me Too).

What’s the next step?

“Body awareness is key to properly diagnosing ailments.  No doctor in the world will be able to tell you what it’s like for you to feel pain, tension or relief or any other sensation; this is information only you can access.  Yoga combines the external conceptual knowledge with the internal experiential understanding that only you can access”

– Leslie Howard

I have learned from practicing Body Thrive habits that I can be my own healer. This starts with looking at my habits.  Am I drinking something that is also a diuretic? What is my sitting/exercise posture like? What is my mental/emotional state when I am engaged in Breath and Body Practices? Being mindful during exercise to body position and breath is important. If you notice that you hold your breath during exercise, this is what is happening in your body: your respiratory diaphragm pushes down on the organs below it.  During normal exhalation (breathing out) the transverse abdominal muscle contracts and the pelvic floor lifts in response. Neither your respiratory diaphragm or your pelvic floor is moving but rather is held in a static position.  Holding a muscle in a static position can lead to imbalance. When you are exercising with a neutral pelvis, meaning your tailbone is not tucked or you pelvis is not forward with more weight one one leg than the other, your organs are supported by the musculature of the pelvis and hips. When your tailbone is tucked, the pelvic floor shortens, there is more weight on the lumbar spine and there is less room for the organs to be supported by the pubic arch.  If your pelvis is tipped forward, especially when running, your organs are resting against each other and applying pressure. The pressure and impact from running can shift the organs forward.  When this happens the pressure on the pelvic floor increases as the muscles are imbalanced and not supporting the organs. This forward pressure by the organs can contribute to stress incontinence. 

A visit to a physical, occupational therapist or midwife that specializes in pelvic floor therapy will assist you in learning about the health of your pelvic floor.  Look for therapists that can offer a variety of treatment such as internal/external therapy, myofascial release, craniosacral therapy, as well as exercise. If you search the internet you will find many options for exercise, pharmaceuticals, and devices. I have explored a few online pelvic floor exercise programs with some success.  They review the anatomy and the exercises are aimed at a weak or hypotonic pelvic floor.  Recently I attended a pelvic floor workshop by Leslie Howard that put it ALL into perspective.  We discussed anatomy,diagnosis, hypo v hypertonic pelvic floor musculature, massage and yogic exercises.  As an extra bonus, our class was filled with wonderful women from all over the U.S. and Canada. These women were not only great problem solvers, but they were honest and open as we held the space for each other’s stories.

If something in this blog reaches out to you, I would encourage you to get more information for your mom, sister, daughter or yourself.

The nagging voice in our head urges us to make another list, to schedule another play date or dinner, to get the laundry done before we head out for the long weekend camping trip. The voice inside our head leads us through a barrage of tasks, stripping us of the joys of spontaneity, yet enticingly defining us as “master multi-taskers”.

We grin and bear it. We post another instagram pic of ourselves in the shirt that says “Goal Digger” or “But first, coffee” or “Run Now, Wine Later” or “BeastMode”, like we have to be balls to the wall 110 percent of the time. Then later we’ll get wasted to forget this hellish day. It’s exhausting just watching this chaos. And we seem completely unaware of how to slow down.

Of course, anyone who is into health & wellness at any level has heard of this one thing that can really help to calm the crazy. This powerful practice, with the immense ability to help us quiet those voices in our heads, and let go of all the things.

Say it with me now – MEDITATION. Yes, yes, that’s the one.

Now you might read this and think a lot of things. You might have a lot of justifications why meditation isn’t your jam. So I’m here to unpack some of your stories for you.

Top 3 Meditation Excuses

1. “Oh ya, nope. Tried it. Didn’t work. Not for me.” – I used this line. Before discovering that – AMAZINGLY – just because you tried something once and didn’t succeed, doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t try, try again! So the day/time/position/method/setting you tested out meditation in didn’t provide the results you were seeking… Lucky for you, there are many many methods of getting out of your head and into your breath (keep reading for a few options).
2. “I’m too busy to meditate” – You know who is huge into meditating? Tony Robbins. Ever heard of him? Massively successful motivational speaker who’s written 4 best selling books, and generally kicks ass every 12-14 hour day spent motivating the masses? Ya that guy finds time to meditate. Know who else meditates every day? Oprah. You know that lady must have a pretty full plate. Knowing that people like them find the time kinda made me feel silly about using this line. We’re not too busy, we just don’t make it a priority (also, I discovered that the “I’m too busy for xyz” line almost always translates to “I’m not making that a priority”).
3. “I can’t stop thinking” – This is a full on message that meditation is what your body sorely needs! Overthinking is merely a habit, just like all the others things we do in a day. But it is 100% possible to retrain your brain to not only settle into silence, but to LOVE it.

There is a zen proverb that says:

“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day – unless you’re too busy; then you should sit for an hour.”

Now, I won’t accept a lot of justification in not having any kind of meditation practice, but oh my goodness I can certainly say with two kids under 5, a full time job, YHC Certification training, starting a business, and writing these beautiful blogs… I do not have 1 hour in which I can place priority on meditation.

Luckily for us there are many beautiful steps on the path to the perfect meditation practice, all of which provide ample benefits.

The Stepping Stones to Your Mindfulness Practice

1. Yoga Nidra Sleep Meditation – There are endless free recordings online to help decompress, quiet your mind, and breathe into all areas of your body, preparing you for restful sleep. This is a great place to start because it doesn’t take any time out of your day. When you’re ready for bed, just pop in your headphones and drift off to peaceville.
2. Guided Morning Meditation – Guided meditations are a beautiful stepping stone to a solid practice. Filled with kind words, generally including some positive affirmations; short guided meditations are great for starting the day right. By listening to the voice of someone else, you can effectively quiet that little voice inside you.
3. Meditating on a Topic – This could otherwise be referred to as brainstorming, but with enhanced intention. Come to your meditation space – this could be the end of your bed, your living room carpet, your backyard, basically anywhere you won’t be disturbed by people or technology – and bring your notebook. Choose your topic (eg; my next blog post, my kid’s birthday party). Sit down and breathe, allowing thoughts on the topic to flow freely. As good ideas come up, break to jot them down so you can expand on them later. As unrelated thoughts come up, just let them go. Just a heads up – you might get insane levels of creative in these sessions.
4. Moving With Mindfulness – Choose a task that you complete without much thought, such as brushing your teeth, doing dishes, folding laundry, eating, or to a certain extent, driving. Now just do that thing, and breathe. This one was mind blowing for me. It is wild how many random, useless, and mostly negative thoughts I had floating around in my head when I actually paid attention to them. Now I’m getting pretty good at moving with mindfulness, catching myself in the thought spiral, and letting it go with a smile.
5. Timed Meditation – starting with 1 minute even. Set your timer so you don’t have to worry about whether you need to get up and check your phone. Just commit to breathing for that one minute. Then go to two. Then 5, and so on.

AND THEN – try going it alone, no guidance, no movement, no timer. And if you’re ready, prepare to receive true bliss.

Do you have a secret to letting go and sitting in silence that wasn’t listed above? We’d love to hear about it. Share in the comments below.

All my adult life, I have loathed my period. A time of emotional upheaval, uncertainty, distress. Inability to communicate with candor and care. Inability to ask for what I need without my partner giving me that look of “It’s that time of the month again isn’t it?”. Of course, it is, and I’m so frustrated that I can’t be normal right now!!

There are about 2 weeks of the month when I am an extremely creative, high functioning person. New ideas abound, along with the energy to implement them. I say yes to every opportunity and look for the silver linings in all situations. I’m social, quick-witted, and confident in myself. I’m a champ.

The other two weeks, well, I wouldn’t describe them the same.

I start to feel pushed into the things I had committed to. I withdraw from social situations; switch to autopilot with the kids. I have miscommunications with my spouse. I get irritated at questions that only a week ago would have brought me joy to answer. To sum it up – shit gets weird. And then the guilty feelings wash over me. Why did I say that? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just get up and do things?

The answer is that I’ve been trying to do the wrong things during this time.

This is something that’s in the water in our society. We’re taught to give 100% all of the time. As business owners, we’re expected to have the same level of content output; the same level of energetic drive, 100% of the time. I think I’m not the only woman who fakes it (in business, or otherwise), probably about 30% of the time. And you better believe that once I started paying attention, I realized the “fake” days lined right up with my menstrual cycle.

Looking into the “why” behind my fluctuating ability to perform at different times of the month, I learned that as estrogen levels decline in the weeks before our period, so does our ability to think and communicate clearly…. or to remember simple words… or the fact that there’s wet laundry in the washing machine.

Over the last few months, I’ve done some deep searching and reflecting on what I expect from myself – in terms of my business and relationships, and my self-care – at different times of the month. I’ve made some beautiful realizations about what my body needs at different stages of my cycle, and am working to implement a more thoughtful approach to my business and life, using my cycle to my advantage.

Monthly Menstrual Cycles in Business

‘Connecting The Female Energy Cycle’ Photo Credit Dana Gillespie – www.mymoontime.com

Luteal Phase (otherwise known as PMS) – Estrogen levels declining:

What has long been regarded as the least favorite time of the month, has become a well-needed space for reflection on how the previous month unfolded. Stepping back from my soapbox, I go inward – assessing the successes and failures of the last month. I make lists, organize my office, update my books. I meditate and provide myself with long and loving massages. I reassess my commitments, retreat from that which does not serve me, and prepare to realign in the direction that feels right.

Menstrual Phase (our period) – Lowest Estrogen Level:

This phase is so sacred. It is the peeking sunlight after the storm. Through my processes of reflection in the luteal phase, I set new intentions for the month to come. I think about my vision. From a refreshingly emotionally balanced place, I write down my goals and listen to my gut feelings. I meditate on my business and express gratitude. It is during this time that I often get those aha! moments, where a new idea pops into my head. I take some time to outline the content of these new ideas.

Follicular Phase – Estrogen Rising:

As my energy levels rise, so does my self-confidence. I dive into my seedling ideas, have brainstorming sessions, write drafts, and problem solve the steps toward my vision. I get into conversations, connect with my tribe, reach out to the peeps who would benefit from my offerings. And I get posting on social media, sharing what’s new and shiny.

Ovulation Phase – Peak Estrogen = Peak energy:

This is the money week. Clear-headed and concise, I seek opportunities for interviews, free talks, and networking events. I spread joy. I dance and sing like my kids are watching. I shoot my videos, offering humor along with knowledge. And I batch task my social media posts, scheduling them for the weeks to come, to provide myself with that well-deserved reflection and organization time.

This breakdown of my cycle has brought so much clarity to the way I run my business and the way I treat myself. As I focus my energies as outlined above, I release myself from guilt and stress. I am anchored by the moon. And my path, though winding, is clear.

Do you align your business with your monthly cycle?

If you struggle with inconsistent energy levels or brain fog at different times of the month, it’s worth your while to pull out your calendar and start tracking these feelings. Find what works for you and when then use it to your advantage.

Post your experiences in the comments below! I’d love to hear if this helps bring clarity and prosperity to your business too.