My first morning I went outside to give it a try. It had snowed the night before and was a couple degrees celsius below freezing. I looked at the trough after walking barefoot through the snow to get there. It was beautiful, the decision had been made months ago and so without too much thought I broke the ice with my foot, dropped my towel and sat into the freezing cold water. I worked to calm my breath to trust enough to lay back and cover up to my neck. I had started a stop watch just out of curiosity and a minute and a half later I got out of the water. I was cold, but by the time I went back in the house and dried off, the cold was not a factor and it was unquestionably worthwhile as I felt that I truly knew what it meant to be alive. It was like each cell in my body was awake; a very, very different experience than rolling out of bed in the morning.

The after effects of these cold plunges continued to pull me in, I would feel the need to feel awake and alive in a way that I couldn’t by other means. I would be struggling in the morning to make a plan, make decisions, choose what to do with the day. I was at a crossroads and trying to weave my way through an uncertain fog, so I would cold dip and feel a clarity in myself, what I truly wanted, needed, and felt called to manifest. Uncertainty became the trigger for the habit of cold dips. The thought of ‘how does anyone ever make a decision without first going into cold water?’ would come to mind. With a mantra like this, uncertainty feels like empowerment. The world gives us chaos and we plunge it into cold water and come out more ourselves, with greater clarity, direction, calm, and conviction.

I started to look for opportunities to be in cold water. Doing dips a few times a day, trying out when it felt best, what it was like to do it as a bedtime routine and still be able to fall asleep quickly. I went on a road trip into the mountains in spring and wondered how I could bring this forward. There are always cold showers available, but they don’t seem to offer me the same journey as a minute or two submerged. One morning I went for a run on a trail. I planned to return to the house and grab a towel, then go to the boat launch and have my cold dip, being able to scoot back to the house quickly if needed to rewarm. However, the trail ran along the river, was secluded, and had many lookout points with access to the water. On my way back I decided to try a mid-run dip. It was wonderful, much easier when my body was warm before and nice to be able to walk right into a calm river rather than having to sit or lay back in my trough. I returned home awake and inspired by how easy this could be now that I was looking for the opportunity!

The next morning, now in a different town at a different friend’s house, I once again went out for a morning run. I ran up, up, up, feeling the need to push my muscles and stretch my strength. I thought about cold dips and where I could find one. From here I had to go down to the river and then back up to get home. Today I was wearing shorts and a long sleeve rather than the previous day of pants and a jacket. Hmmm…. Once again the opportunity for experimentation. I ran down to the river and went for a skinny dip. It was harder to find a place to fully submerge but the water was very cold and I made it work. I put my shorts and long sleeve back on and felt fine, my legs a little heavy and my body a bit more alive.

As I returned home, my hands were fine. I have suffered from rainoids for as long as I can remember, losing the circulation to at least a couple of my fingers from touching a cold steering wheel or looking at a cold river. But I was fine! Was this just the circumstance of running first and then dipping, or were the cumulative cold dips having a healing and strengthening effect on me? It feels almost too good to be true that simply spending just a couple minutes a day could cure me of this poor circulation disorder, but at the same time it makes total sense. We are training our blood vessels to close and open, like lifting weights. Now rather than my extremities being closed off regularly, my body was strong enough to keep the blood flowing, how amazing! As I reflected on that morning run, I realized that I would have definitely caused rainoids previously by getting cold and keeping my hands uncovered.

This brought the question to mind that I have sat with before as I heal old patterns and injuries. Am I ready to let go of this challenge/disability/injury? If I let go of it, allow it to heal, forget it ever happened, it means I am letting go of the potential attention, empathy, and conversation with others surrounding this topic. The care they would offer when I lose feeling in my hands and my ghostly fingers are not capable of the slightest of tasks. When we let go of these opportunities we let go of the means for connection in this way. Could I connect with others over being healthy, strong, and vibrant? The bigger question: am I open to my identity shifting in a big way through a seemingly small change in my body? That is really what has the potential to ripple out from this recovery. I am becoming a new person, connecting with others in a new way, open to change and growth with the available space and attention not used up by empathy for an injury that is no longer mine. I am the type of person who seeks out new and healing experiences and pays attention to what happens, I am the type of person who cold plunges.

Questions may arise: Why do I want one? Who is this for? How do I begin?

We gain freedom through structure to bring chaos into order and a manifesto is just that, a structure that connects our vision of the future to our current position, guiding our actions in between. The process of writing a manifesto is the exploration and articulation of what matters most to us, what we believe in and stand for. It is a guiding light that allows us to make decisions easier, to understand ourselves better and when both of these things are happening, we are given a tremendous opportunity for increased freedom.

For example, an opportunity arises, it is shiny AND sparkly. Not only sounds good but tastes good too, yet there is something that just doesn’t sit right. Our normal reaction would likely be some mix of intuitive practice, outsourcing to others for guidance, pros and cons lists, etc. Or if we are more the excitable and impulsive types, it would be to yell “YES” at the opportunity and deal with the consequences later. This all takes time and energy, either before to sort out the clash of feelings for and against, or after to figure out what happened when we threw ourselves at the new opportunity, perhaps to process the emotions of what happened if it was truly misaligned.

Or, a new opportunity arises, we feel it out and check it against our manifesto. Is it in alignment with my stated beliefs and vision for the future? Ah, clarity! Here, on line 6, I can see how it doesn’t fit with my _________ value and thus would pull me out of integrity. I will pass on this opportunity, with gratitude, and seek out another that would align with my vision and create the results I desire. It’s a dreamy process, and it really can happen that easily! Manifestos are for people who want space, freedom, ease, simplicity, or to streamline their approach and who have not yet articulated their vision and values. For folks who want to spend more time in alignment, more time learning from what goes well and being in the joy of who they are and what they do.

Like anything, there are so many ways to do this, here is one way. You can insert coaching and conversations, set it aside and come back to it, do whatever is helpful to you as this is a deeply personal result that deserves your personal process and attention.

Now let’s begin:

1. Get mad. The best place to write from is one of frustration and even anger. Allow your emotions to drive this effort, the goal is to use this frustration as a contrast, when we can see what we don’t agree with through our frustration, we gain clarity of what we do believe in. You can do this in one fiery sitting and/or start a list in your phone and pay attention to what sets you off throughout the day to uncover the belief undercover. Set yourself a time limit, if needed, to sit down again with your ideas, schedule it in. You can freewrite about things and/or move straight to specific points starting with “I believe….”

2. Expand. You can take your beliefs further by asking yourself a series of questions about the important areas of your life as a whole or narrow it down to a specific area of your life like family or business. What is most important to you in relationships? What do you believe about money? What values are important in your family life? What do you believe about time? What do you believe about lifestyle? Work-life balance? Kids these days?

3. Refine. Now you likely have plenty of ideas and it may feel like two steps forward, one step back. Awesome, let’s take another step forward.
   • Read it out loud – notice which ones bring about emotion, feel the most true, and which ones feel fake or like beliefs you “should” have.
   • Look for themes – likely there is some overlap. Look for the words that resonate the most, the 100% must have statements, or any that you can combine and crossout.
   • Rewrite your list – see where you are at. Do you have a vision of how long or short? Likely this will come about naturally. Trying to be as succinct as possible will help to vet your beliefs, they will have to fight for a place on your list and nothing will make the list without it having some true energy behind it.
   • Recycle this process until you have it down to something that feels punchy, strong, and true. It needs to feel like you and it needs to feel powerful.

4. Publish. Share this, publish it, use it as marketing. This is the world you desire to create, no time like the present to start creating it. Feeling resistant? Explore that, likely there is a goldmine in this resistance that when you break through this, you will break through to a whole new level of action and authenticity in your business and life. Perhaps you wrote your goals, or your future selves’ manifesto rather than your current one. What you want to believe rather than what you actually do, and it feels hard to share. Or, you are being called out of hiding, to live your dharma in a big way and the way forward is the way through the resistance. You get to choose how you want to go about moving through!

As an example and for further accountability to share my Manifesto, created at the Mexico 2022 Yoga Healer Retreat, here is mine:

FREEDOM MANIFESTO

• I believe personal wellness is foundational.
• I believe in taking the time to clarify desired results first.
• I believe in Deep Work, the Focus Question, and being unavailable.
• I believe structure brings ease.
• I believe in my worthiness, the unique value I offer and the power I have to redefine cultural assumptions.
• I believe in exposing my frustrations, failures, and regrets to learn my most powerful lessons, stand in my convictions and BEST effect change.
• I believe in conversing with God.
• I believe nothing happens in isolation and investing in strategic community and reciprocal relationships is essential.
• I believe in returning to and collaboration with nature and receiving guidance in these rhythms.
• I believe there are opportunities for joy, beauty and adventure available to us at all times and that it is right for us to embrace them wholeheartedly.
• I believe there is always more available to me. I believe the time is NOW.

1. Do what is easy: What habits are naturally supported by your current situation? 

For example, when traveling in a foreign country, it is often recommended not to be out after dark alone. So when I travel alone, it is really natural for me to eat early and go to bed early because it is not the best time for me to be out exploring. This also sets me up to rise early and start the day right, which I LOVE in general, but especially in a celebratory/party culture like Mexico and in a hot country. To be up early seeing the city as a totally different place, see who is out working at this time, enjoy the cool air – it is when I realized that running would totally be a great thing for me here and there is a huge community of people that are running and walking on the beach in the morning. What’s the ‘low hanging fruit’ for you when you are traveling? 

2. Do what is necessary: Which habits do you really miss when you don’t have them, likely the ones that set your trajectory away from how you want to feel. 

I realized after a day or two how necessary it was for me to have some hot water to drink in the morning to help clear the channels. I didn’t know how to source this, but it came up as very important for me to have the best day. I thought of buying a thermos but instead moved into a place with a kitchen, which solves the challenge for now! Recognizing that some habits that are so easy to have happen at home are still very much worth the payoff of the extra effort and perhaps extra expense. Maybe there are certain foods, types of movements, quiet spaces, or little luxury items that are worth carrying around. I brought a light sleeping bag, which seems silly in a hot beach town but it was so nice for the a/c on the plane here and will be for other bus rides! 

3. Leverage the opportunity to learn and uplevel from the challenge: These experiences give us the opportunity to adapt, to grow, and to learn in a new context that we don’t get when we dial in a system and only use that system. This is true in many aspects and maybe one of the reasons you are away from home in the first place. Leverage it with your habits and your own personal evolution.

For me, here and now, it is giving me the opportunity to experiment with food. I had it dialed in that I like oatmeal with some toppings, I can feel it when it is time to switch them up, and I like a black or spicy chai with it. I hate paying for oatmeal at restaurants so it is giving me the opportunity to try something else. Longer fasting times, fruit in the morning, two meals a day rather than three. I was so patterned into my craving for oatmeal in the mornings at home.  It was really challenging to get out of that. It’s easy here, easier than eating it most days! Having habits that support us is an adventure in refinement and evolution. We can get focused on the perfection of it or the attachment to what has worked for some time and accepting the challenge of wanting to be on the road and feel good is a wonderful way to embrace the adventure, and it has the potential for huge payoffs! Happy adventuring!

When we work out, we stretch our muscles and create micro tears. When they heal, we create stronger muscles. We stretch them to a new capacity. We do this mentally, using our ability to focus. We even do this with our identities.

Just like a muscle tires out during a workout, so do our minds, hearts, and selves. It is in the rest between workouts that we heal, become stronger, and feel that we have gained traction very quickly.

I had 4 days of solo bikepacking. It felt like the whole of the YHC first year growth came into fruition. It had been a journey, as it usually is, to get to the trail and to get set up so that I was free for these days, well equipped, and had a back up plan. It took intention to cultivate the space that would allow for my identity to catch up to me.

While biking I heard the quote from Robert Brault “We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal”. That happened to me! By the end of the winter season of working away at lessons and business and stretching myself continuously, I was tired when it came to the spring. With strong conviction, I decided to take a youth working job in town to balance out the time I was spending working alone on business. I craved in person interaction, clear direction, and to be in flow outside of business and sports so that I would return to the desk fresh and ready to work in a new way.

It was short lived, it did not fit and I quit within a month of starting. The week before my scheduled bike trip, an incident at work had stirred up a lot of emotion. I thought about quitting but didn’t want to give up or back down so quickly and went into the bike trip with the decision to not make a decision, to accept the support they were offering and keep trying.

Oh, the glorious clarity of SPACE!!! It just felt like I had room to explore thoughts and ideas and there was no rush, but rather great trust in the process. I was waking up thinking about it in the morning, in the middle of the night, and having to be very intentional not to think about it at bed time so I could fall asleep. I realized this wasn’t done, the decision made was not the right one and I knew I had to quit. I felt guilty for quitting right after training and even some shame for not wanting to work with these youth. There was room for those emotions to be processed and digested on this bike trip too, this all came through on day 2!

“Now what?” I thought to myself. “What was the purpose of this intense experience that is so far from what I was hoping for?” It was a clear path to a lesser goal. It came with ease, with familiarity, and when things got hard, I fell into the same old patterns around food, alcohol, and thoughts.

I realized that this pattern was over. That chapter had been written. It was time to let it close. I had worked with youth in one specific program that I was very passionate about. It offered me the chance of great adventure and purpose. But that was done. It was time to let go, to stop looking for work that would replace those feelings that were so special in jobs that could not offer the same experience. It was time to let my ego and identity around being a field guide go and open up the chapter that I had been just flirting with all winter.

It is a great process. It was years of searching, taking jobs, moving towns, quitting jobs, drifting, growing, trying again. Many journals filled and many coaching conversations invested in transitioning from one to the next. All of a sudden, the new me was riding my bike on a bike packing trip. The new me is a business owner, an entrepreneur, and a Yoga Health Coach.

The timing of the trip was interesting too. A year before, on summer solstice, I was leaving my growing-up home after a strong disagreement that showed it was time to go find my own home. I drifted through the mountains toward adventure sports and clear flowing rivers. Solstice had been a big turning point that year and led to the greatest feelings of personal sovereignty I had experienced. Now a year later, it was being refined into a new version of me that is sovereign in a new way. Six months prior in the fall, I had attempted the same bike trip. It was rainy, cold, and dark by 6 PM. The derailleur on my bike was slowly breaking until I was down to one speed with a lot of hills, too cold to stop for breaks, and soaked right down to my base layers. My mind was wrestling with why I was there the whole time. What was I trying to prove? Who cared? Who would even know? After a long wrestle with quitting, I pulled over in a split second decision and started hitch hiking to my car. I drove back home in the dark rain feeling a bit lost and silly.

The rest, the space, is the chance for our identities to heal from the stretch and become stronger, evolved, and new. It is the chance for us to embody the identities we have been working to create, through meditation, mindful action, journaling, cultivation of supporting thoughts and relationships. When we hold space, we give the chance for something new, something different to surprise us, to knock us right off our feet. This newness cannot get to us when our plates, hearts, and minds are full and we cling to the old.

I didn’t want to focus on my food, sleep, self care, or morning routine.

I didn’t want to do Body Thrive.

I caught on to Cate Stillman in the early days of Covid shutdown, just after I quit my job and had a back injury. I saw it all as an opportunity – what do I want to learn that I have never taken the time to? I had already started studying in a coaching program and sensed some form of pivot was in my future.

I wanted to jump into Master of You, I loved learning about the elements in our lives and I badly wanted to sort out what my purpose was. It felt bigger than what I had been allowing and I had been noticing the trend of feeling limited when I was managed by others.

I wanted to shift lanes from one purpose driven lifestyle of adventures in serving others and traveling in the wilderness, to the next Instagram worthy journey of meaningful work. I switched jobs and the novelty fueled my fire as did the move to a new town and the change in routine. When I was totally depleted and emotional in that work I quit again and my energy sparked again. It was so easy to believe it was circumstances that had me tired, day after day, and on the verge of tears more often than not.

I didn’t want to tend to those smoldering embers, to the out of control emotions, the lingering fatigue, or the tendency to get injured and be slow to heal. I didn’t want to have a health journey.

I wanted to look at the map, find another cool destination and plot a course to get there with some neat wilderness trips along the way. I could keep driving hard the way I had, my whole career as a wilderness guide, keep pushing toward the finish, the to-do lists. Keep expanding my capacity for efficiency and leadership. Keep showing up day after day.

Until I couldn’t. I felt broken and sad, I was tired and lost. You could say it was the bottom, but I had bottomed-out 4 or 5 times already. I had to get stuck there for a bit to realize that there were things in my life that once had been good enough but no longer were, like my health. Once I noticed that burnout and depletion are some of my health conditions, I could no longer consider myself the ‘picture of health’. As much as I wanted to jump straight into Master of You and to evolve my purpose and have a big adventure, I was too deeply tired. Not only tired but quick to overwhelm and bogged down by brain fog. Everything seemed too hard, too far away and I felt like I was making no progress at anything. I needed to start with Body Thrive, to organize my daily habits in a way that would give me an abundance of energy, heal that which I was ignoring and put me on a path to be healthier each day. I didn’t need to go to the hospital, it wasn’t the obvious kind of emergency health care that I needed, what I needed was to tune into myself and listen to the subtle signs and the deep wisdom of my own body and of myself.

I didn’t want a health journey, but really I was asking for one. I was asking to have the energy to not only take care of myself but others as well, enough energy to change the world. I wanted it to be easy, to just will it into existence and drive forcefully at it until it was true. But neither of those things work, and now I know that health comes first, and that we are all on health journeys of some kind, whether we like it or not. Some are obvious: the show stopping, game changing, “scare you to death” kind of obvious, and others are more subtle. The slow depletion of energy, the increased prevalence of illness and injury, and the slow recovery time that perhaps never comes to full completion. I didn’t want to do Body Thrive to get what I wanted, but the world demands it. Honing in daily habits around food, sleep, self care and exercise, that’s not as glamorous as the resiliency I once thought I had, and now I am slowly paying back the debt I borrowed from tomorrow. I didn’t want to do Body Thrive, but I’m glad I did. Now I can’t stop.