Podcast Intro:

Coach of the month, Marcella Fulco, is an MD from Italy who went down the research path to study biochemistry and molecular biology.  Her life path has led her to America to work for the National Institute of Health, marriage, and motherhood, teaching yoga, back to Europe, and now to Yoga Health Coaching!

Join in on this informative conversation where Anna gets the inside scoop on Marcella’s unique journey- transitioning from teaching part-time, leading her course in another language, successes her group members are experiences, her future goals for her business model, and so much more.

What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• Why it can be nice to have a small community.
• How to modify the course to another language.
• Where to incorporate your unique wisdom into the course.

Links/CTA:

• Design the Journey You’re Meant to Lead – Lead the Journey for Wellness Pros
• Check out the latest episodes
  • Group Membership Coaching: Difficult Members, Difficult Situations
  • DM’ing to Boost Your Sales for Wellness Pros
• Marcella Fulco links:
  • https://www.instagram.com/marcellafulco_yoga_lifestyle/
  • https://www.marcellafulcoyoga.com
  • https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcella-fulco-616579a/

Highlights: 

• Marcella talks about how saying “yes” to new things led her to now.
• Marcella talks about her MD background and bringing science into her course. 
• Marcello tells us about her training in Yoga for Stress and Anxiety.

Timestamps:

• [4:18 min]- Journey into the YHC business model.
• [8:02 min]- Leading a unique journey from the YHC model. 
• [11:05 min]- Adapting the course to another language.  
• [13:30 min]- Course members’ experience.
• [17:09min]- Growth goals.
• [22:05 min]- Biggest shifts and breakthroughs

Quotes:

• “I started to feel the pressure that now I needed to transfer this knowledge into the world.”
•  “I did the three-month body thrive and it was incredible.  I shot through so many of the limiting beliefs that I had.”
•  “Just experiment for a few days and you’ll see the results.”
•  “Being small, it has benefits because people really know each other and they are sort of becoming friends and really supporting each other in the journey so they don’t feel alone.”
• “I notice that as the confidence grows, the ability to charge more [grows].”

Guest Bio: Marcella Fulco

I graduated with an MD in Palermo, Italy, and right after, during my residency program, I moved to Rome to do research in a laboratory molecular biology. I decided then that my career would be in science and I did a Ph.D. in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology, which I completed in the States at the NIH (National Institutes of Health), Bethesda Md. I remained at the NIH for 10 years, first as a postdoc and then as a Staff scientist. My family then relocated to San Diego, where I took a pause from working and discovered Yoga, I became a Yoga teacher and a Yoga Therapist.

In 2006 we moved back to Europe, and I live now in Munich, Germany, with my husband and 2 children (12 and 17). I tried to make a living as a Yoga teacher, but it was not so easy, and eventually, I decided to give a spin to my career and I made the leap of faith of joining YHC.

In what ways have you been incapacitating yourself? Every day, people make choices that will keep them from realizing their dreams and achieving their goals. They will make excuses, get distracted by other things in their lives, and weeks turn into months, and then into years.

What I want you to ask yourself is this: what is it you would like to achieve until the end of the year? And what do you need to change about yourself in order to achieve it? Get as specific as you can. The only thing between where you are now and where you want to be is you.

Listen to the podcast to learn more about overcoming victim mindset, getting clear on your goals, and creating a strategy to achieve them.

What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• How your habit patterns can incapacitate you
• How to use time in order to achieve goals
• How to build good strategy and systems

Links Mentioned in Episode:

• Read Steven Pressfield’s work
• More about the Find the Money Course
• Watch the Free Masterclass

Show Highlights:

• The connection between perfectionism and negative thinking
• Overcoming shiny object syndrome
• The better you are at sales the less marketing you need

Timestamps:

• 1:11 How and why you incapacitate yourself
• 10:29 Organizing your life in alignment with your goals
• 20:22 Clarifying your job description when you’re self-employed
• 29:24 The importance of building a good strategy  



Jessica Drago had been following Cate’s work for a decade, but always felt the timing was off to join Yoga Health Coaching. After becoming a mother, however, she felt the moment had come. She wanted to transition from teaching 18 yoga classes a week to coaching.

As Jessica started working on the curriculum and building her own program, she realized the importance of calendar integrity. Being a huge outdoors person, Jessica knew that in order to achieve success and continue to enjoy life with her family, she needed to use her time in alignment with her vision.

Listen to the episode to learn more about working smarter and not harder, and building a calendar that serves you.

What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• How to go from burnout to ease
• How to ask for help in order to grow
• How to align your time to your vision

Links Mentioned in Episode:

• Watch the free Masterclass
• Find out more about Jessica
• Have a free career conversation

Show Highlights:

• Burnout and dealing with autoimmune issues
• Working less but having a higher impact
• Learning to say no in order to have calendar integrity

Timestamps:

• 1:22 Motherhood and the desire to do more
• 5:58 Productivity and your sense of self-worth
• 17:56 Showing up for yourself as a leader
• 25:03 Having a clear vision when organizing your calendar

Guest Bio:

Jessica’s journey started in 2009 with an attempt to nurture a rock-climbing injury. While taking yoga classes, she experienced an endless adventure towards self-awareness aligned with nature’s rhythms. Having suffered and recovered from various sports injuries, Jessica has an understanding of how to offer what the body needs to recuperate.

In the last decade, she has completed workshops certifying for Physical Therapy Aide, Massage Therapy Aide, Certified Nursing Assistant, Yoga Health Coaching, and over 200 hours of yoga teacher training. Coupling her love of habit evolution and body mechanics, she is passionate about coaching others through Ayurvedic principles towards their unique pursuit of an active and balanced lifestyle.

Outside of coaching, Jessica either spends family time in nature with her loving partner and son, creates wildcrafted art, tends to her plants, or dances.

After a career in biology and public health, Lesley Pereira turned to wellness after battling anxiety and postpartum depression. An overachiever, Lesley felt she was living by someone else’s  rules and not being true to herself.

She decided to join the Yoga Health Coaching program in order to help women who are having trouble managing their day to day anxiety, develop healthy habits. Lesley focuses her program on her members nervous system, and helping them achieve the necessary groundeness to achieve their goals.

Listen to the podcast to learn more about how about how women can overcome stress by becoming better at time management and adjusting to the different cycles of life.

What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• How to listen to your body and be true to yourself
• How to overcome anxiety with the right habits
• How to set the right goals

Links Mentioned in Episode:

• Find out more about Lesley’s program
• More about the Find the Money Course
• Watch the Masterclass

Show Highlights:

• Listening to your body instead of external sources
• The pandemic’s effect on women and the household
• The connection between your menstrual cycle and your energy

Timestamps:

• 1:17 From overachiever to your true self
• 8:09 Focusing on the nervous system and being grounded
• 19:58 The importance of time management for anxiety

Guest Bio:

Ever since Lesley was a little kid, she felt a deep personal connection to nature. It’s always been her spiritual home- the forest, the lake, the trees, the sky, the animals. The woods by her house were where she went to feel safe, connected, creative, peaceful.

Lesley has also ALWAYS been a seeker, wanting to understand the bigger picture, digging down into the deeper root cause of it all. She has always been a connector, an “old soul”, empath, sensitive to energies, seeker of deeper connections and meaning, the one who people turn to to confide in for advice, guidance and processing, asking the hard questions and holding space with empathy.

Caroline’s family was struggling to save any money. She was a stay at home mom, committed to the education of her kids, and with little interest about her family’s finances. But one day, that changed. Caroline started to learn about her family’s finances and begin her journey to understand how she could help better manage their money.

What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• How to start understanding your family’s finances
• How to change your beliefs about money
• How to tap into the abundance around you

Links Mentioned in Episode:

• How Money Works: Stop being a SUCKER
• Find out more about the Find the Money Course
• Watch the Masterclass

Show Highlights:

• Caroline talks about the difficulties accessing financial advice
• Caroline shares her struggles with developing a good money mindset
• Caroline talks about money having the energy we attribute it

Timestamps:

• 1:37 From stay at home mom to financial advisor
• 4:33 The Female mindset about money and ancestral healing
• 9:42 Small steps to start understanding your family’s finances
• 17:24 Thinking about money as a Wellness Pro

Guest Bio:

Caroline was a stay at home mother for 16 and half years, when she decided she was ready to get back into the workforce. As a yoga teacher, currently studying Ayurveda, she wanted to empower and serve others as well as increase her financial wealth.
Caroline’s family was struggling to save money, which propelled her to dedicate herself to get educated about finances. That’s when a friend gave her the book that changed everything – How Money Works: Stop being a SUCKER.
Feeling ready to fulfill her mission on earth, Caroline became a financial advisor.

Another great thing to reflect on is our habit evolution. It is natural for the regularity of our habit commitments to change over time, and reflecting on this can teach us a lot about what is working and what is not. Cate and Talya discuss their different methods of written reflections that allow them to form more coherent thoughts. Whether it be in the form of organized lists or the simple flow of words on paper, writing down what is on our mind can really aid in the act of reflection.

What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• How to do written reflections
• Why reflection pairs naturally with the manifestation
• Why reflection is so powerful at the end of the year

Links Mentioned in the Episode:

• Talya’s website
• Talya’s holiday recipes
• Discover more about Body Thrive 
• Body Thrive Book

Show Highlights:

2:45 – Talya discusses the impact of her past year’s focus on the word “commitment.” While she found that it motivated her, she also reflected on how she could have applied the idea to other areas of her life in order to have a better impact.
7:20 – We are all wired into a cycle of both reflection and manifestation. However, if we only use manifestation without reflection, we cannot digest those lessons learned, which causes us to be out of balance.
14:00 – One way to improve the negative impacts of holiday food is to provide balance through adding in herbal teas or powerful herbs in order to aid digestions and balance in the diet.
15:15 – Cate discusses her wavering meditation habit. She emphasizes the benefit of reflecting on what is working for her and the changes she observes depending on her commitment impact her life.
20:55 – Talya encourages utilizing morning pages in our morning routines. This involves at some point in the morning writing three full pages of whatever your mind conjures. It is great for emotional healing and having such tools can hold you in place long enough to have some kind of presence or experience with yourself.
28:45 – Talya explains the word she has chosen to play with for the new year, and why. By directing our focus based on our reflections, it helps us to turn a new page.
38:25 – There is a serious power in deep reflection and deep digestion. These processes allow us to realize our assets and how they plug-in with strengths and weakness that themselves plug-in to meet our obstacles head-on.

Your Favorite Quotes:

• “I’m committed also to feel good and being happy and joyful and knowing when it’s time to let go.” – Talya Lutzker
• “We are wired into a cycle of reflection and manifestation.” – Cate Stillman
• “We don’t know what we don’t know.” – Talya Lutzker
• “This is where I didn’t show up as a visionary, this is where I didn’t show up as a leader, this is where I showed up wanting someone to do it for me.” – Talya Lutzker

Guest BIO:

Talya Lutzker is founder of Talya’s Kitchen – an Ayurvedic kitchen about so much more than food; it’s a place to drink up deep nourishment for the heart and soul of who you are. Talya helps women reclaim their radiance through food, nutrition, Ayurveda and self-care.

She found her passion and purpose in Ayurveda when she turned to it for her own healing in 2001. Since then, she’s authored three cookbooks, founded the RAD Cleanse (Radiance Ayurveda Detox) and opened doors to Nourishment School. Connect with Talya on her website, Facebook  and Instagram.

Knowing your self from the inside is self-care.  Can you think of three self-care practices that you do regularly? Looking at your list are they extrinsic, meaning does it require someone or something else (ie massage, pedicure, glass of wine)? What would it be like to take your self-care practices to the next level by learning intrinsic self-care?  Personally, before I can integrate a new practice I need to know where I am starting from, what my current behaviors and triggers are and why do I want to evolve them. For the holidays, acknowledging my comfort eating style was a good start.

I tend to be introverted and shy away from holiday gatherings.  When party tasks are delegated I am the one that signs up for cutlery.  This is my way of staying accountable and actually attending, as I know that the hostess and persons who brings a big bowl soup would be terribly annoyed with me if I did not show up with spoons.

Getting ready for a holiday affair, my old self would drink a few glasses of wine (liquid courage), then grab the Cutlery and head for the car.  I would take a deep breath and tell myself, everything will be okay. You only have to stay an hour. My senses would be overstimulated with holiday lights, sounds and smells.  My digestive system greeted by soda pop, Chex mix, and holiday themes of cheese, gluten and white sugar.

In large groups, I tend to accommodate.  Why? I want to socially fit in with the tribe.  To be accepted and liked. I would eat food I didn’t want to eat because I wanted to fit in, knowing that I would be rewarded with a distended belly in the morning.  I would smile and listen to conversations that really weren’t that interesting. I would experience a sleepless night due to the digestive mix and worry that I said the wrong thing. Late at night my inner voice spoke to me in a loud critical voice, rewinding the night’s events.

Know Your Comfort Eating Style

Ali Shapiro, MSOD, CHHS, holistic nutritionist and health coach and founder of True with Food explains binge eating through the lens of three comfort eating styles: the Accommodator, the Competitor and the Avoider.  I like the way she breaks the styles down because I easily identify with all three of them.

Everyone has experienced all three eating styles at one time or another.  Like the three doshas, we identify with the one style or dosha that is the most dominant.  For the Ayurveda perspective, I turn to Brodie Welch, health coach and self-care strategist. She describes the Accommodator as Kapha, the Competitor as Pitta and the Avoider as Vatta.

Kapha:  The Accommodator:  Do you eat to please others and/or keep the peace?  If yes, you are an Accommoder. Scenario:  You are at a family gathering.  Aunt Clara proudly displays the holiday table and feast she has been preparing for days for you and others.  When you take a small portion of each dish you are greeted with: “You eat like a bird. What is the matter with you?  Eat more I prepared this for you!”  What do you say to yourself and then Aunt Clara?

Pitta: The Competitor:  Are you a competitive eater?  Do your eating patterns fluctuate between strict and binging? If yes, you are a Competitor.  Scenario: At the work party you are feeling super fit and toned in your new slinky little black dress.  The strict diet and workouts have paid off! You are enjoying holiday toasts when suddenly, the topics turn political.  You feel yourself becoming angry as you do not agree on the political nature or tone. Listening to the supportive cheers you feel more and more disenchanted with the evening.  You walk to the wine table to refill your wine glass and are greeted by mouth-watering cheeses, salty crackers and delectable chocolates. Does the voice it your head say, awe screw it and you start binge eating?

Vatta:  The Avoider:  Do you eat absentmindedly on the run?  Are you hungry after you eat because you did not chew, smell or taste the textures of your food? If yes, you are an avoider.  Scenario: You made it to the party and you suddenly realize how tired you are.  You find yourself in the kitchen next to the holiday Chex mix. As you unconsciously put you hand in the bowl and begin eating, you review your day and check off the boxes, suddenly realizing that you have not eaten all day.  You look down at the bowl and the Chex mix is all gone. What is the voice in your head saying after you ate all the Chex mix?

Developing a Relationship with the Voice in Your Head

Working with the voice in my head, my inner critic, is a daily practice.  I have learned strategies and some of the best are from Acharya Shunya. She is a master and spiritual teacher of Vedic Yoga and Ayurveda.  From Vedic Philosophy there are 4 guidelines when speaking to yourself or others.

1. Do no harm (nonviolent communication)
2. Speak your truth
3. Speak in a pleasant tone
4. Rein in your ego.  Is what you are about to say contributing to the conversation?

Using the 4 guidelines of Vedic communication as a base, you can decrease the anxiety and tension which can arise during conversation while speaking your truth in a kind and caring way. We can all begin with acknowledgment.  Hosting a party and food preparation takes time. Many men and women work full time, juggle household duties and have responsibilities caring for children or aging parents. They may also have financial or medical struggles we don’t know about.

Kapha:  What do you say to yourself and then Aunt Clara?  Take a breath and get centered. Begin with acknowledging her for her efforts and complimenting her on the savory food.  You can tell her that you are taking smaller portions because you know that each dish was prepared with love. You want to take the time to enjoy the smell, texture, and taste which will fill you up faster.

Pitta: Does the voice in your head say, “Awe screw it” and you start binge eating? When alcohol is flowing people tend to become ungrounded.  Everyone has their own opinion which is based on their perspective to life.  What would it be like to be curious and ask questions with no judgement?

Vata:  What is the voice in your head saying after you ate all the Chex mix?  What would it be like to say in a  gentle, kind voice, “Opps! Hummm, I can’t undo that and I am still hungry.  I think I will sit down, slow down, and breathe. I will nourish my body with some warm vegetable soup.”

Holiday Action Plan: I want you to have a healthy and nourishing holiday season.  Now that your clear on the three styles of eating, grab a piece of paper and brainstorm on how you will change your patterns. Tell me below in the comments.   

References:
http://brodiewelch.com/how-we-eat-is-how-we-live-unapologetic-feminist-self-care/
https://alishapiro.com/about-ali-shapiro/
https://yogahealer.com/?s=acharya+shunya
https://www.acharyashunya.com/

*Special thank you to Elise, Kari and Alec for your encouragement on writing this blog.

While some of us are blessed with a fun and festive holiday season, many of us or not. Some of us dread the holidays. Challenging relationship dynamics can spark a big blow up, or at a minimum grind on our nerves in a way that makes us feel neither merry nor bright. Gatherings with family, co-workers, or neighbors who have the ability to push our buttons can put a real damper on the holidays.

What’s a self-aware, big-hearted, peace-loving person to do?

I sat down, coach-to-coach, with Lael Petersen, Yoga Health Coach and Licensed Clinical Social Worker to get some TIPS on how to navigate relationship challenges so that you can enjoy the season and stay true to yourself. Read our informative conversation below.

Kirstin: Understanding ourselves in the context of our relationships is key to self-care. I’ve learned this in my own personal growth and in the lives of the women I coach. I know that we have the power to make changes in our relationships that support our own well-being. Do you see this in your work as a coach and therapist?  

Lael: Absolutely. In my coaching group, we’ve gotten to observe big relationship breakthroughs. Women who are committed to personal growth and self-care often find that they need to renegotiate the terms of their relationships so they can prioritize themselves. As a therapist, relationships are a central concern to many of my clients as well.

Kirstin: With the holidays upon us, and the potential for relationship challenges looms large. What do we need to understand that will help us show up more fully to events and festivities with grace and ease?

Lael: We need to understand fear. Fear makes things feel larger and scarier than they are. Fear shuts down the part of our brains that are responsible for making plans and decisions. When fear is activated, we don’t think clearly and can’t come up with options. When fear is in control, we tend to stay stuck in old patterns, and we are stuck repeating the same tensions, arguments, and hurt feelings year after year.

Kirstin: Yoga Health Coaches learn a lot about breaking old habits and patterns. What is the first thing you would tell one of your coaching clients if she was feeling the fear of a holiday-induced relationship meltdown?

Lael: Permission. You have the right to have a happy holiday. You have permission to NOT spend time with people who are challenging. You have permission to CHANGE how you spend time with the person. You have CONTROL over how you interact with the people around you.

Kirstin: Permission to put yourself first is a big growth area for a lot of us. Why is this so challenging?

Lael: Permission brings up our beliefs about what good a person, mother, or daughter would do or not do. If there is tension between who you really are, and who you believe you are supposed to be, it feels uncomfortable. It can be fear-provoking. You might feel the anxiety rising right now just talking about doing things differently.

Kirstin: Yes! I can feel a little edginess when I think about how it would feel to give myself permission to do things differently. I have pretty good relationships with most of my family, but I don’t always feel like I can totally be myself with them. What do you suggest?

Lael: I have three tips for you. First, identify your intention for the season, and keep it top of mind from now until the new year. If your intention is to make the holidays rich in experiences rather than expensive in terms of gifts, fancy dinners, travel, etc., keep that in mind when planning events and accepting or declining invitations.

Kirstin: Focusing on an intention is so important, but easy to lose track of in the frenzy of holidays. What do you suggest?

Lael: You have to keep reminding yourself! Write your intention on a post-it note and place it where you’ll see it – your bathroom mirror, the refrigerator, the dashboard of your car – so you’ll be reminded. Another way is to choose a piece of jewelry that you designate as your “intention memento.” When it catches your eye, or you feel it on your skin, take that as a cue to check in with yourself and ask if you are staying true to your intention or need to make some changes to your plans.

Kirstin: That first tip was kind of a twofer. Set an intention. Then find ways to remind yourself and check in to be sure you are making choices that align with your desires and needs. What are your other two tips?

Lael: The other two tips are about planning ahead to set yourself up for success. Use your brain in a calm state to prepare and rehearse a few one-liners that will help you change the energy and the subject when needed. For example, “Oh Mom, Let’s not go there today. Let’s just enjoy the holiday.” A one-liner like that one will allow you to change the subject without too much drama.

The other part of planning ahead is to put support in place ahead of time. Make a plan with your partner, favorite cousin, or compassionate co-worker who can provide support, distractions, or help you ease out of an uncomfortable conversation if needed.

Kirstin: Perfect. Anything else before we wrap this up?

Lael: Don’t forget to celebrate your success with a reward that will reinforce your intentions and habits for navigating relationship challenges. I don’t mean reward yourself with a cookie and a tall glass of eggnog. Text your trusted support person. Tell yourself, “good job!” and smile at your wins. You’re doing great work to create a more merry holiday, and setting the stage for healthier relationships all year long.

Let’s Review the Steps for Calm and Happy Holidays

1. Understand the Role of Fear. Fear is your inner voice alerting you to possible “danger,” such as the tension between family members or the too-high expectations you feel at work. Thank your fear for the information, and then take a couple deep breaths. Once you’re calm, make a plan for how you will respond to the challenges fear helped you identify.
2. Set an Intention. Take 30 minutes to journal about what you want to do, have, and feel this holiday season. Then write about why this is important to you. Finally, choose a word or short phrase that will remind you of this intention. Post it on your bathroom mirror so you can be reminded of it every day.
3. Plan Your One-Liners. Think about the likely interactions that may ruffle your feathers, and pick one or two one-liners that you can use when needed. It’s not crazy to practice this with your spouse or a friend so they come out naturally, even when you’re a little flustered.
4. Get Support From Trusted Friends and Family. Grab chai with a friend and talk about your intention, your one-liners, and ask for support. Make a plan to text your friend when you are feeling stressed, or for her to check in on you each week.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Have a Happy Holiday. ‘Nuff said. You deserve to be as happy as anyone else.  

My conversation with Lael reminded me of this quote: “Smile, breathe, and go slowly.”

Perhaps these words from Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh will be a starting point for your planning and intention setting. I hope you’ll use the tips Lael shared to give yourself permission to be true to yourself regardless of the relationship dynamics you’ll encounter this season. With some pre-planning and support, you can navigate relationship challenges with a sense of ease.

How will you create the holiday you truly want this year? Please tell me of your trials and successes in the comment section below. I am here for you!

And how often have you actually followed through on making that change? Did that effort last?

Or did you fall short of your goal and feel like giving up?

If you are anything like me you might be able to relate. I have had all kinds of moments when I decided that it was time for a shift….Times where I passionately embarked on a new routine or habit (usually on my own). And set out on my new adventure like it was the next big thing in my life only to find the momentum waning after a few short weeks.  Eventually, I slid back into my old routines. A few months later, I would be in the same boat — wanting to change a habit but lacking the of motivation or follow-through. How frustrating.

Stick-to-it-ness is a tough skill. Especially if we work on things on our own.

Enter the Power of the Group! Your Tribe. A supportive group of peers. Those who are working toward the same or similar goals as you are.  

Have you ever heard the cheesy saying, “Team work makes the Dream work”? Well turns out it’s true! When we work on the same or similar goals with others we are more likely to achieve that goal AND we achieve what we want faster than if we had plugged away at the goal on our own.

Let’s face it reaching goals and changing new habits can be hard work. It takes effort and intention to get there. However, we increase our odds of achieving those goals when we feel accountable to others. When we make a commitment and state our goals and desires out loud to a friend or group of like-minded individuals we feel more accountable to those goals.

I experienced this first hand working with my Yoga Health Coaching program members.

I noticed that over the summer months my group members were not as consistent with keeping up with their goals. Or during times when they did not feel accountable to the group – holidays, over the summer months, Christmas or Spring breaks. There was a direct relationship between their group attendance and participation and their results.

Thank goodness for our Peeps

Now I’m not saying that it’s a totally bad thing. In fact, sometimes noticing how indulgent we can behave when left to our own devices is actually a good reminder that we need support. It shows us how easily we can fall off the wagon when we aren’t feeling accountable. When we come back to those support systems – our Tribe – we are more likely to appreciate them. Thank goodness for our Peeps! They can remind us of our deeper desire for positive change. They can help keep us remain accountable and focused on our goals. They remind us of who we are becoming.

Some of you may want to be part of a group, but can’t seem to find one. Perhaps you live in a small town (as I do) with a tiny population. Or the opposite – you could feel overwhelmed by too many people in a large city. Or maybe you are not a social person at all and prefer the comfort of your own space. Whatever your reasons for feeling as though you can’t connect with a group, you can find ways around this.

If you want to meet in-person, look for groups around your neighborhood. Check your local library, municipal office, or bulletin board for postings. There may be local programs in your area. Reach out to them. Plan to meet up and ask some questions to see if they have a group that is a good fit for you. Or write up an ad and create your own support group.

If in-person is not your thang, look for an online group that fits your desires. There are numerous platforms available. You can search social media forums (like Facebook). With some careful weeding out you can find the right group for you.

Finding an accountability partner or a support team is one of those steps that takes working toward and achieving your goals to a whole new level. It’s an up-level in your strategies that can help make all the difference. Take your plan a step further and find a Yoga Health Coach who is trained to guide and educate you in the Daily Habits of Ayurveda & Yoga. A Health Coach helps you, and the group, make shifts in your daily health and wellness habits by offering tips and strategies that will accelerate your progress. They are there to support and guide you toward your goals. Being able to lean in for guidance, encouragement and support takes a lot of the pressure off.  It helps you to recognize that you are not alone. And brings in a fresh perspective.

Many reputable Yoga Health Coaches are now running online programs which offer safe and supportive group environments to help you meet your wellness goals. You can go here for a list of current certified Yoga Health Coaches who are available.

When it comes to reaching your goals why not follow proven strategies? Align yourself with a group for accountability and watch how you reach your targets more quickly.

Feel free to reach out and connect with me for a free wellness strategy. I would love to hear from you. You can place your comments below or connect with me through my website. I’d love to chat!

I teach my coaching clients how to listen to their own wisdom, life experience, and knowledge. We put knowledge into practice with small, incremental lifestyle changes that give them more energy, better sleep, stronger digestion, and mental clarity. The habits are simple, but not always easy. Making habits stick takes effort!

Will Power is not The Answer

I used to think that willpower was the answer to making changes in my life. I’ve tried many times to restrict my behavior using sheer willpower. I can control and restrain for a while, but eventually my willpower runs out, and I rebel. Often the rebellion ends in a setback, leaving me with even more work to do.

As I learned the concept of habit evolution, I learned the secrets to making habits stick. One of the secrets to lasting change is found in the power of our dynamic groups who hold us accountable to the changes we commit to making.

Accountability, and Why it Works

Psychologists, researchers, and thought leaders offer science-backed techniques and insights that allow us to make habits stick. One of these techniques is accountability.

To be accountable essentially means to comply with an expectation. When you or someone else is expecting you to do something, you are accountable to do that thing. Dr. Robert Cialdini, author of the book Influence: Science & Practice is an expert on why people comply with expectations. Dr. Cialdini’s work has shown that peer influence is a powerful motivator, especially when it comes from a person or group we feel personally close to.

This is peer-power – the influence of an expectation from outside yourself that motivates you to comply with the goals you’ve set. A study done at Dominican University found that accountability among friends is effective in helping people achieve goals. More than 70% of study participants who sent a weekly progress report to a friend achieved their goals (completely achieved or nearly achieved).

Make Peer-Power Work For You

Not everyone responds the same way to expectations. Your unique nature influences how you comply or don’t comply with internal and external expectations. Author Gretchen Rubin offers a framework for understanding how we respond to expectations in her book, “The Four Tendencies.” Rubin organized the patterns into four types, or Tendencies:

• Obliger: Meets external, resists internal expectations
• Questioner: Meets internal, resists external expectations
• Upholder: Meets internal and external expectations
• Rebel: Resists internal and external expectations

Understanding your tendency is the key to using peer-powered accountability effectively.

Classic Accountability: Peer-Powered Partnerships

Accountability can take a number of forms. Many people find that working with an Accountability Partner helps them stay on track with their goals because it is easier to work with others than go it alone. However, accountability partnerships rely heavily on external expectations, and not everyone responds to external expectations naturally or easily (i.e. Questioners and Rebels). The key lesson from The Four Tendencies is that each type has a different way of dealing with expectations from internal and external sources. Understanding your tendency (and your partner’s) will help you successfully support each your action partner.

I have seen the power of accountability partnerships in my own life and in the lives of my course members. Knowledge of your natural Tendency, can help you take advantage of an accountability partner and avoid potential pitfalls.

The Tendencies At Work

Obliger: Easily meets external expectations, but struggles to meet self-imposed expectations

This most common tendency probably explains why the Dominican University study found that 70% of participants significantly or completely met their goals with the support of a friend who they reported to weekly. Obligers are naturally well-suited to accountability partnerships because they naturally meet external expectations. They thrive with a partner who check-ins consistently and encourages their progress. Obligers notoriously give more to others than to themselves. Using an accountability partnership can be an excellent technique for consistent inner work that Obligers may otherwise easily let slide.

Questioner: Meets expectations when there is a clear and meaningful reason to do so.

Questioners must satisfy their need for information and understanding before committing to expectations. Once committed, they naturally follow through on expectations. Questioners can benefit from an accountability partnership, but will need to be clear on what, why, and how the partnership will take shape. Making clear agreements about what the partnership will look like, how partner will support each other, how long the partnership will persist, and how partners will address resistance, conflict, and noncompliance will help a Questioner be an effective accountability partner.

Upholder: Naturally meets internal and external expectations without difficulty

Those who are Upholders don’t necessarily need to have an accountability partner to meet their own goals because they naturally meet their own internal expectations. However, Upholders make great accountability partners when they understand that their natural tendency can be a great support to others. It’s important for Upholders to remember that most people do not easily meet their inner expectations, so they will likely need to offer lots of patience and compassion to their partners. Deepening the qualities of patience and compassion could be a fantastic fringe benefit from an Upholders accountability partnership.

Rebel: Resists all expectations in favor of flexibility, creativity, and freedom

For those who resist internal and external expectations, accountability partnerships may seem an odd strategy, but Rebels can be similar to Questioners. Clarity about how a partnership will work sets Rebels and their partners up for success. Rebels will want to be creative and define flexible parameters that don’t feel confining. Rebels need the partnership to be convenient. The best accountability partners for Rebels are Obligers and Upholders, who use external expectations to meet their goals. A Rebel who embraces that her role is not only about meeting her own goals, but also to support her partner may be more likely to show up.

Make the Most of An Accountability Partnership

The busy, working moms in my coaching group use The Four Tendencies to help them navigate their accountability partnerships with ease. If you haven’t figured out your “Tendency” yet, take the Four Tendencies Quiz. (Bonus: You can also learn how to match your self-care to your Tendency in this blog by Yoga Health Coach, Kristen Polzien.).

Ready to  supercharge your growth with peer-power? Make a clear commitment to yourself and your partner. Hold each other accountable, and behold the power of your loving support and encouragement as you become the next amazing version of you.